We are concerned about our dd.

**CountryMom** · 04-27-2002, 05:57 PM

We think she may be speech delayed. She is 3.5 and doesn't really carry on conversations like other 3 year olds do. She can say a fair amount of words, but only a few sentences. She rarely puts two sentences together. She still uses a lot of "baby talk" and gibberish. She will talk to dh and I, but gets really shy around everyone else.

At first we thought she would just talk late, but we are starting to really get concerned. We are making an appointment with our pediatrician next month.

It is hard for me to believe there is something wrong, because I think she is perfect.

But she really should be carrying on conversations by now.

Otherwise she is a bright, imaginative kid. She knows all of her colors, can count to 5, etc. She has dinner parties for her stuffed animals and "talks" with them, but it is just gibberish. She is also the most loving child on the planet. She gives me several hugs and kisses during the day and tells me "love you momma" a lot.

I have been trying to give her more one on one time with me lately. Which is why I haven't been around much. We have been reading a lot and playing a lot of games (ie identifying and trying to say sentences) She is great at memory.

Anyway, I am rambling. Thanks for listening.

Christy

**mustang80** · 04-27-2002, 06:52 PM

DD#2 did not speak until after her 2nd birthday. No words, no gibberish, just grunting. The ped told me they were going to send her to speech therapy, but then one day she just started speaking SENTENCES! Because your DD is speaking some, even gibberish, I think she'll come around. Some kids are faster than others. Also, if she has older siblings, this will delay the speech sometimes. That's what happened to us. DD#1 was talking for her, so she didn't need to talk. Good luck at the ped, I don't think you should get upset about it if she seems normal otherwise.

**QuilterMom** · 04-27-2002, 07:26 PM

We are firm believers that a child will talk when a child is ready to talk. Our pediatrician put us through **** last year (ds was barely over 2 at the time) because she was so convinced that our ds should be talking more than he was. She would not take my word for what I said he could do. When she would speak to my ds he would get all shy and not say anything. She took that as a bad sign

and pestered us (I mean pestered us with numerous phone calls from her nurse and herself) until we finally agreed to have him evaluated. It was the worst thing I could have done. Our insurance would only pay for one particular place in town and unfortunately it is a place that does not work with children on a regular basis (we found that particular fact out later). The lady that did the evaluation did not have a good personality for kids and my ds did not like her from the start. He wouldn't warm up to her and wouldn't say or do things for her so she failed him and of course recommended he have speech therapy. Dh and I still did not feel he needed it and we absolutely refused and the doctor still pestered and pestered us. In the end we won. Now bear in mind that through all of this ds would talk and talk to me and dh, but not really to anyone else. Then one day all of a sudden he decided he was going to start talking to anyone and everyone and we haven't been able to shut him up yet! LOL! Like I said before - we truly believe in our hearts that every child will talk when they are ready and no sooner.

If you are really troubled by this and want to have your child evaluated, I suggest you look into it at length before choosing an evaluator (if you have the option to choose - we did not due to ins.). Make sure the person deals with children on a regular basis and has a child-friendly personality. Do you have the option of having your dd evaluated by someone from your local school system? Ours has a program just for evaluating kids and it's free to any resident, but kids have to be at least 3 years old. My ds was not 3 at the time so we did not have that option.

**QuilterMom** · 04-27-2002, 07:33 PM

Originally posted by mustang80
Also, if she has older siblings, this will delay the speech sometimes. That's what happened to us. DD#1 was talking for her, so she didn't need to talk.

I forgot to say in my earlier post that mustang80 makes an excellent point here - I have had a public school speech therapist (someone we know from our church) tell me that she encounters this all the time.

**CountryMom** · 04-27-2002, 08:09 PM

She doesn't have older siblings, just younger ones. If she was younger I wouldn't be so concerned, but she is 3 years and almost 8 months, so I am starting to worry.

On one hand I feel like she just isn't ready and will start talking on her own any day. But lately I have had an uneasy feeling about the situation.

She is also really selective about what she says. One day she will say a certain word, the next day she clams up and won't say it and on the third day she is back to saying the word. She isn't forgetting any words, she just won't say them unless she is good and ready. lol

Christy

**Jerseygirl** · 04-28-2002, 02:58 PM

What you said about not having older sibs may be a big part of it. Without the constant chatter and competition of older kids there often is not a lot of reason to speak up. Make sure your not anticipating all of her needs and responding before she has the need to ask--I have made this mistake and found that when kids are forced to ask for what they want, they do. Dss used to simply say juice when he wanted some, he gets away with that at his mother's house, now when he is here we have him saying I would like some juice please. It's a behavioral theory called the Pygmalian theory, basically that children will do what is expected of them. Good luck.

**CountryMom** · 04-29-2002, 05:57 PM

I found out today that our school district has a preschool that helps speech delayed children. They accept any child, but work with speech delayed children. They also pair the speech delayed kids up with the "chatty" kids to encourage more talking.

And since the program is part of the school district the cost is only like $5.00 per month! This is great news since we probably couldn't afford regular preschool and make too much for Headstart.

We have an appointment on May 10th to have our dd evaluated. So I am hoping that we will be able to do this program and they won't be filled up.

Christy

**sixfreds** · 05-02-2002, 09:32 AM

Try not to worry some kids talk later or are speech delayed for a number of reasons...or they just don't talk because there is no need to (older siblings or whatever)

Get evaluated with the school and see what happens.
Our triplets are all in pre-school because of speech delays (they had their own language to talk to each other as babies which is normal for multiples)...

And your right the school system doesn't evaluate or help children until they are 3 but before that if there are any issues you can call easter seal or look in the phone book for an early intervention office near you and they will do an evaluation. Parents can have it done independently with out referrals and if insurance doesn't cover it (before 3) and it is decided that services are necessary or in the best interest then easter seals will generally pick up the cost..

Eileen

**PrairieRose** · 05-02-2002, 11:01 AM

The only thing that I have to add is if she is sucking on a pacifier....that could hinder her development. My neighbor's children sucked on pacifiers until they started kindergarten and then was appalled when the teacher told them that they both had speech impediments. They talked just like they still were holding a pacifer in their mouths, all of the time. It may not even be a consideration in your situation but thought I would throw that thought out there. Otherwise I wouldn't worry too much about it right now. She'll catch up when she's ready and talk your ears off.

**TinCorAl** · 05-26-2002, 02:59 AM

I just have to put in one more time tho'-if you are concerned there is no reason that you can't have an evaluation done. My son has autism, and he was caught early, and EVERY one that I have come into contact with has told me that the early something is done the better. I hope that every thing went well for you on the 10th!

Tina