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  1. #1
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    Default career downgrade

    I am an RN working in a management position which affords me a very nice salary. With my income, I have paid off a significant amount of debt. We typically live off DH income and I payoff bills with mine. We are debt free except mortgage right now.
    I miss working as a staff nurse and having extra days off by working 12 hr shifts. I currently work10 to 12 hr shifts 5 days per week. I am exhausted when I get home so I have to cram in all domestic work during the weekend. Hubby does not enough housework to help.. he emptiesmthe dishwasher on occasion and does not cook.
    My DD 22 told me recently that she and her hubby are going to start trying to have a family so I am anticipating I may be a grandma by this time next year.
    I want to take a different job so that I will be available to keep my grandbaby on the days I am not working.
    Taking a different job means I will lose about 30,000 a year. For many this sounds absurd.
    I need to talk to hubby about this and I am sure he will think I am nuts. Maybe I am? Any advice on how to outline the conversation? Has anyone else done something similar?
    Last edited by shelly123; 12-09-2013 at 06:04 AM. Reason: typo

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    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    I think you organized your thoughts very well in the post above. Say the same things to your husband.

    Good luck. Life isn't all about money. It sounds like you have a hard job and work way too much overtime to be enjoying your life. Time goes by fast, and in the end, you're more likely to look back and wish you had worked less and lived more.

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    TDN
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    I am not sure since I don't know your husband how to outline the conversation.

    I have done something similar though and am working to cut back on my spending so I can work even less. (hubby is supportive and would even let me just close up shop but I am not ready for that yet plus we are trying to save heavily for retirement)

    You are the same age as me I see. I feel as I have gotten older I realize there is so much more to life. I had a health scare last month in fact and by the time I left getting an ultrasound I was convinced from the way the gal doing the ultrasound acted and the things she asked I had ovarian cancer. This was after a week of such pain I could hardly move. So a frantic call to my dr got her right on calling the radiologist and from what he saw my uterus is plum full of fibroids. Still waiting to get in to see gyn so don't know for sure but it sounds fixable:-) but in that afternoon of thinking the worst the thing I dwelled on was wasting time on things that didn't matter. Getting upset with my easy going husband for the stupidest, little things. Things that shouldn't even matter. Spending time on the computer or cleaning when my nieces are here and I could be playing a game with them. Now I know we can't just play and have fun but my priorities have turned around. We have worked hard for many years to have no debt. When I work less everything is better around here. Easier on hubby to since I do all the domestic things around here. We can enjoy life more.

    I almost didn't write this because earlier this year I was pointed out as an "example" of what someone was talking about in one of those post about wealth and earning money.......basically called an idiot ( though not in those words ) because earning top dollar is not my goal in life.

    and granbabys are priceless. Spend every minute you can with them...they grow up to fast!

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    TDN
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    I also wanted to add, but was to late to be able to edit my post.......that the hardest thing for me in going from working full time to part time has been dealing with peoples comments. I don't ask them what they think but most are customers though some are friends and family so they all know my hours. I get crap daily about it must be so nice to be semi-retired, have so much free time. have so much money you don't need to work etc. etc. etc. These are the same people that ask me " been anywhere exciting lately? got any big trips planned? doing any remodeling in the house??' I answer " we have been camping alot" let me tell you they are not impressed with that and some ask " so when are you going to get a bigger trailer?" ( our trailer is only 19' bought used but in great shape, paid for with cash ) We have absolutely no plans to buy a bigger trailer.
    My husband tells me not to worry about what people say but it is hard. It is no fun listening to them and feeling like I need to defend myself.
    Hopefully this won't happen to you.....but be prepared it might. Good Luck!!

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    Registered User Zhoen's Avatar
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    Shelly, I'd suggest the first thing you do is consider your own feelings carefully. I say that because, to me anyway, what you're describing is not a "career downgrade" but a "satisfaction UPgrade." Your current way of work (vs way of LIFE) is *SO* familiar to so many of us working women, but if it's not giving you satisfaction to balance out the exhaustion, then what is the point?

    So first, give yourself permission to live your life--any life you can dream of (and it's a beautiful one you've described above, Gramma-to-be!) And then second, look at your budget and figure out what that $30k reduction in income would mean to you and your husband and your life. You've described currently working 50-60 hours per week in a M-F, correct? But want to go to 12s and fewer of them? Ok, so if you cut back to 3 12s per week, that would give you the other 4 days (give or take, scheduling is such a craps-shoot) to be with your grandchild and do whatever you could get to around the house.

    I have NO doubt that cutting down work hours and replacing them with Grandbaby hours would be a truly wonderful thing for you, your daughter, and your grandbaby, all, just be sure your budget can absorb it. You're talking about still working pretty-much full-time, still pulling the "second shift" that so many women do... just in this case the housework is yours but the baby is only part-time. Can you do all that while not putting yourself back into debt?

    Maybe while you're awaiting the wonderful news from your DD, you guys can try living on the reduced income, squirreling away that money into an emergency fund in case you need it later? Then by the time you cut your hours, you'll be used to working more while "getting" less, and working less FOR less will seem like a relief... plus you'll have a cute baby to play with.

    My 2 cents.

    Our income is dropping significantly when I retire from the military in a few more weeks. We've been preparing for the last year or so, doing roughly what I described above, living on less, paying off more, squirreling away all we can. People look at me like I'm crazy when they find out I'm REALLY not going to work for a while... so many of us jump straight into a second career... but like the others already said... life is not all about the dollars... if you have enough to meet your NEEDS, then next you get to look at your WANTS... if you WANT to be there for your daughter and your grandchild, then the "cost" is $30k... but that "buys" you something absolutely priceless. Go for it!

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    Shelly,
    I am in the same boat. I currently work as an administrator/Department Chair/Faculty at a State College. I'm "downgrading" to 9-month faculty on July 1. I will take about a 40% pay cut but my quality of life should improve. I had to do this for health reasons and work-related stress probably caused some of my chronic health conditions. People and experiences are so much more important than money. I'm alone, so it was more of a risk.....but I need to do it if I want to keep working. Best wishes.
    Kim
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    Registered User larabelle's Avatar
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    I am an RN with my masters degree and I was in your shoes about 10 years ago. I went from a managment RN position to a staff nurse position. ALOT less money but ALOT more life quality. I miss management ( NOT)...laughing....I love being a staff nurse less stress.
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
    New to me vehicle

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    I went from management (in a hospital) to a staff position a little over a year ago. WOO HOO! I took a $26,000.00 a year pay cut. My life has improved tremendously. I went from 60 or more hours a week down to forty. Plus I can actually use my vacation hours. I leave at 1:00 every Thursday to go visit my new grand baby. I liked making a lot of money, but it has totally been worth it to take the staff position.

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    Registered User mommy4ever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TamiDN View Post
    My husband tells me not to worry about what people say but it is hard. It is no fun listening to them and feeling like I need to defend myself.
    .

    I say a quote today that really struck me.

    "It's none of your business what other people think of you." I really liked that. Why should I really care what people outside my circle think of me. As long as my family and I are good, no one else really matters when it comes down to it

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    Quote Originally Posted by mommy4ever View Post
    .

    "It's none of your business what other people think of you." I really liked that. Why should I really care what people outside my circle think of me. As long as my family and I are good, no one else really matters when it comes down to it
    I soooo agree!!!
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
    New to me vehicle

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    Registered User dcompton's Avatar
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    If there is enough money to live and some to fall back on in a crisis, happiness trumps money every time.

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    I wish I had made that decision years ago. I took the wrong career path with my degree and am stuck in a 10 hour a day, four days a week job. I could have taught but chose ed administration. I'm too close to retirement to switch but I wish I had done it 20 years ago when I had the chance. Having Summers off would have been great.

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    I just finished book orders for Fall semester and it occurred to me that THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER HAVE TO DO BOOK ORDERS AGAIN!!!!! Not that they're hard.....just time consuming. I am so convinced that taking the pay cut is going to make me happy and probably add years to my life. The best part is I won't have to evaluate faculty, just mentor them. Now I'm starting to get excited!
    Kim
    The Lord will provide

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    Update
    I found out shortly after my original post that my daughter is expecting. She is due late summer!! Meanwhile, on the job front, things are not going too well at my company as they are having financial troubles, they are MONTHS behind on many bills. I found out shortly after I started last summer that they have never made a profit, but it does seem as if it is getting worse. It is making me and the rest of my staff uncomfortable that we will not have a paycheck come one Friday.
    I have had several staff member members quit over the last few weeks which just puts more of a burden on me and the rest of the group to cover the long days.
    Since I am a nurse, I thought it wouldn't be that hard to find another job, but I have been applying since early Jan with not one phone call. I have thought about calling an agency and trying to get an agency job for spring and summer just to get the heck outta there.
    Would you stick it out til the baby comes and then take FMLA to look for another job, or go ahead and bail?? A part of me says if they are going to lay anyone off, let it be me, since I am the highest paid and the newest employee ( plus they would be doing me a favor since I want to leave anyway).

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    But what does your husband want? Does HE like working the numbers of hours he does today, is he satisfied with his salary? Would he like to spend more or less time on his career? Does he want to make a lot and spend a lot, or would he prefer the luxury of having someone at home that takes car of the food and cleaning?

    IMO, he either needs to take more of the workload at home, or he needs to support you in your choice to work less hours outside the house. House work is also work, and it is not fair to expect your spouse to work more hours than you are willing to do. But on the other hand; I think a married couple should agree upon how to share the work, and the free time, based upon what kind of work they like to do.

    I would continue applying for new jobs, while staying where you are, for the time being. But cut the spending to what you would expect to make in a new job, and save the rest in an extra emergency fund for an unemployment periode.
    Total paid/saved: $214 900
    Total goal: $304 900
    To do: $90 000

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