Looking for ideas please!

[Dutchie]

For the last 10 years or so, we have had a gift giving tradition in our family. We have 5 kids and 4 of them have so's. So there are 11 of us in total.
Our tradition is as follows.
We as parents give a gift of around $25 -30 to each of the kids. All of the kids buy a gift for each person of around $10. They sometimes pool their $10 to buy something bigger. This means that each kid pays around $110 for Christmas.

One of the kids has said that he wants to do something different. That's it - he didn't offer any suggestions!

A couple of the kids have said that they don't want to change things but are open for suggestions, however on saying that, they said that they do LOVE buying gifts for each other and trying to get as nice a gift as possible for the money and would miss that aspect.

We get it, especially since we know that some of the kids are struggling a bit financially. Our eldest was just here and he said - I am doing OK and have budgeted for this the whole year, so I would like to keep the tradition. Hubby reminded him that we have had to help with his lawyer's fees (messy divorce) so he hasn't budgeted very well (personally thought this a bit nasty - even though it is true).

What I am looking for is some ideas for the kids for the gift giving !

We already tried the 'pulling names out of hat' idea but they don't like it.

Does anyone have some suggestions?

Thank you!

[wjcalderon]

One of the kids has said that he wants to do something different. That's it - he didn't offer any suggestions!

We already tried the 'pulling names out of hat' idea but they don't like it.

I would start by asking him for suggestions.
The first thing that came to mind was the one you already tried.

The only others I can think of are "gag" gifts or homemade gifts, but from the sound of it, they probably wouldn't care for that either.

I hope somebody else has some better ideas.

[StryderPup]

The only option that came to my mind was a "white elephant" gift exchange...you could give it a limit of $25 each gift..and then the fun would be "stealing" a gift from someone

[Nadders11]

Well maybe one large gift each? If they liked pulling their money before. Keep the money the same and ask for suggestions for a large gift for each person. They could write their ideas down for each person, then designate one person to choose from the list. Like person A's list would be chosen by person B and they go buy it with the 110 dollars. Kinda like pooled secret Santa.

[Contrary Housewife]

Take the money and go do something special together as a family. Rent a cabin for Christmas, take a dinner cruise, go to the theater and have a nice dinner someplace special.

[frugalfranny]

Sounds like a family discussion is needed..........if you present it, and it doesn't work out, you take the 'flack' for it..........let it be THEIR idea!

Get together and mention that 'the one' wanted to do something different and let the discussion go from there..........if he really wants it, he will have to step up and own the comment.....and hopefully open the conversation.

Good luck!!!

[CookieLee]

I've always disliked when my family dictated to me how we were going to do gift giving. It sort of ignores that basic concept of gift-giving - that it is from the heart and voluntary.

[valerian]

Dirty Santa is lots of fun! It's the same as what StryderPup suggested. Each person could buy a gift, wrap it, and then you take turns picking a gift, unwrap it and keep it unless the next person or the next or whatever wants to "steal" it instead of opening another. Then the person who's gift got "stolen" gets to pick a new, unwrapped gift. Sometimes a gift will get "stolen" over and over again depending on how desirable it is. Our church does this and it's sooooo fun (one person buys the gifts for the whole church though and she shops all year). We have done it with our kids on Christmas Eve (dh and I buy the gifts and don't open any) and we all love it! It's fun to "steal" the best stuff!

[lisaflex]

contrrty has a great idea! like it...rent a cabin for NYE and grill some steaks, play games, and have family fun time....

[lisaflex]

typo...contrary...
sorry

[Libby]

I agree with everyone buying one gift and wrapping it with the option of stealing as each person takes their turn opening a gift while in a circle.

The idea of doing a group activity is nice too with the same amount of money you'd spend on a gift.

Why not issue a 'homemade' challenge? Everyone draw a name and then have to make something specifically tailored to them and their likes for max budget of $10? Could be a craft, food etc.

[Trishagirl]

We have the same problem w/dh's family we've tried picking names from a hat and dirty bingo and even exchanging Christmas ornaments. Not everyone likes one idea. It's kinda frustrating. They're nevery satisfied uggg! I don't think we're going to to anything this yr.

[Dutchie]

Thank you everyone for all the ideas.

Hubby and I have written an email/short letter to the kids. I will be typing it out and sending it tomorrow after hubby has checked it for grammar errors
(My written Dutch isn't very good).

We have decided not to ask how they want to do the gift giving but to make the decision ourselves. I know that not everyone will like it, but if we ask 9 people what they think, we are going to get 9 different answers.
This is what we are going to do - unless world war 3 breaks out LOL.

We are going to draw names so that everyone gets one gift - around $35.
Then everyone also has to buy one small gift - around $10. We will then do the stealing game - don't remember how it goes exactly but we'll look it up - something with dice.

I have been given money by my parents to buy Christmas gifts for everyone. I will add an amount to that per person from us and make sure that everyone gets a nice gift under the tree.

A little bit of all worlds - I hope!
Wish me luck!