new to couponing

**oheoh's momma** · 05-05-2011, 02:39 PM

help I am new to this site and new to couponing. We work hard and I try to be frugal. I wash in cold water and dry hang. I turn off all lights and computers when no one is using it. We eat leftovers. I color my own hair. I walk instead of drive ,we do not go out to eat,.
I am doing my best. we still live day to day. By my account my husbands wastes about $800 a month.
How do I convince him that we need to get control and it is my money also. He is not on drugs he is drug tested for work. He is too tired to run around. He comes home everyday for lunch and is home by 6pm.
I think he is giving it to his kids or has borrowed it from his boss and not
told me. I believe coupons are my only hope besides leaving him.

**homemaker66** · 05-05-2011, 03:15 PM

I make running of the house "my job" when I can save 50.00 - 100.00 weekly on coupons then I am saving for my family. I buy my coupons from ebay and coupon.com I only get what I need for the following weeks sales. It does not take long to get a good stockpile up and going. Read a lot of post that is here and ask any kind of questions and everyone one is so helpful.

**Josephhgoins** · 05-05-2011, 05:24 PM

Here is something I do, just because something sounds frugal or is frugal for someone else, doesn't mean it is for you. I used to air dry all my clothes until I realized that it only saves me about $5 a month. I kept my house in the 80's in the summer and 50's in the winter until I realized for $20 a month I could keep it comfortable.

I use coupons and they are GREAT!! There are several coupon sites like coupon.com and couponnetwork.com that you can print from including your Sunday paper. You can also use Couponmom.com to see what specials are in your area. They actually tell you where to buy what and with what coupons to get the best prices.

If your husband isn't on board your financial situation isn't going to get any better. Get him on or get him out. My mom has that kind of man and for over 20 years she hasn't had a dime, no matter how much she made or how many jobs she worked.

btw, another trick to couponing is to find a friend in a completely different family to join up with to share coupons. I share mine with a younger lady at work who has a family. She sends me razor, mens body wash and the like and I send her pampers, formula and cereal coupons.

Good luck and welcome. Be sure to check out the recipes and meal plans you will find all sorts of other tips to help cut back on cooking costs.

**Ceashels** · 05-05-2011, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by oheoh's momma

How do I convince him that we need to get control and it is my money also. He is not on drugs he is drug tested for work. He is too tired to run around. He comes home everyday for lunch and is home by 6pm.
I think he is giving it to his kids or has borrowed it from his boss and not
told me. I believe coupons are my only hope besides leaving him.

This is not said to be harsh but that last sentence speaks volumes to me.

There must be other things going on if the choices you see before you are couponing or leaving your husband. You might be a superior couponer but it won't improve the communications or the accountability between you and your spouse.

You and he must find out where the leaks are and come to an understanding of how to make the financial system work for both of you. Do you have goals that you are working toward as a family? Where do you and he want to be in 5 yrs?

Together, you need to talk, listen and plan for things to get better. It won't happen from just one side of the financial relationship and you risk the chance of becoming more resentful in the future.

Hugs from one who had to work on getting a spouse on board.

**NikoSan999** · 05-05-2011, 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by Ceashels

This is not said to be harsh but that last sentence speaks volumes to me.

There must be other things going on if the choices you see before you are couponing or leaving your husband. You might be a superior couponer but it won't improve the communications or the accountability between you and your spouse.

You and he must find out where the leaks are and come to an understanding of how to make the financial system work for both of you. Do you have goals that you are working toward as a family? Where do you and he want to be in 5 yrs?

Together, you need to talk, listen and plan for things to get better. It won't happen from just one side of the financial relationship and you risk the chance of becoming more resentful in the future.

Hugs from one who had to work on getting a spouse on board.

What she said.
Besides...if he isn't on board then if he's blowing $800 a month it's just going to give him more money to blow. You have to at least get somewhere in the vincinity of the same page.

**oheoh's momma** · 05-05-2011, 11:38 PM

It just flows through his hands like water he is a cash person I am money in the bank person.

**khaski** · 05-06-2011, 09:10 AM

I'm sticking to the couponing issue of the ? here- there are terrific sites that help you 'match up' coupons out there to weekly sales fliers for the drug stores and grocery stores. I find the websites 'I heart (rite aid, cvs, or wags /walgreens) to be terrific- they post the fliers in advance so you can 'coupon shop' to stock up for them before the sales begin. 'Hot Coupon World' is a very extensive site to help you match up deals from every store imaginable. My one concern for you is given your situation, coupons alone will not fix this for you- and you may resent the time and planning it takes as it is not gonna be a fixer-upper for your situation.Give it a try, and take heart to some of the comments posted above.

**oheoh's momma** · 05-06-2011, 10:09 AM

Thank you we live in a small town that has a walmart, big lots,, family dollar, rite aid, and food city. I have to drive 20 mins to get to Kmart and 4o mins to get to a JC Penneys. NO wcvs no walgreen within 300 miles we decided for him to keep a hundred dollars and let me open a checking account. we will see if this works. he is a good guy just irresponsible. This has been going for years I paid bills so he could keep his kids up when younger. Financially the mother could do better. we provided all their clothes , shoes, trips, and toys along with child support never regretted it she provided home, Utilities food I know but she would let them ruin their clothes as soon as she got them He took care of his kids I took care of us

As to the issue of coupon I want to able to save some of the money we would spend, on debt, emergency funds and funds to go see sister in law and MIL grand kids before she die

**Hamada** · 05-06-2011, 08:58 PM

Hopefully you can get your husband on board.

If you use coupons from a newspaper make sure to look at the coupons before buying. I usually find that the larger city newspapers have the better coupons. Couponmom.com website is great for matching sales with coupons.

I only purchase items from Family Dollar that I know I can not get a better price anywhere else. One of them is mouthwash. I usually know it is the least expensive out of all of the stores around here.

One thing to keep in mind is that alot of coupons that are available may not be for the healthiest food around. I basically use them for personal care products and frozen produce. Another great way to save money is to purchase produce seasonally. You also will find that as the year goes by certain items go on sale. Now that it is spring you tend to find more things like paperplates, napkins, ketchup, and mustard on sale. You can stock up on these items with sales and coupons. Just remember to only purchase items your family will use and always check the expiration dates before buying. No need in buying items just because it is cheap but you family never eats it.

If you have space you might want to think about growing some produce in a garden. Even if it is in a pot you can save money during the spring to fall season.

**oheoh's momma** · 05-08-2011, 10:55 PM

shoiji I did plant produce this weekend 4 tomato plants, 2 bell pepper, chives, cilantro, sweet basil, and jalapeno plant. next weekend spinach and green onion thanks

**greekislandgirl** · 05-09-2011, 07:56 AM

Way to go on your frugal ways - it sounds like you are really dedicated to living a frugal lifestyle - and hooray for the garden!

If this REALLY and TRULY is the only problem in your marriage, it would be tragic if you walked away from an otherwise happy marriage over something you may be able to work out together. It is possible to change from being a spendthrift person to being a frugal person - I did - and I bet a bunch of others on FV used to be unfrugal at SOME point in their lives.

As long as he is okay with (and not offended by / PO'ed about) the $100 allowance (per week? per month?) then it may work - it might work best if you give it to him in smaller amounts, more spread out. If it's $100/month, give him $25/week. It might make it easier for him to budget and to realize that buying a $6 coffee and paying for his buddy's $6 coffee means half the week's money is gone - that SHOULD make him slow down. Or, if he's in denial, it will just make him resent you.

One thing that I did with my husband RIGHT after we got married (but you could do this at any point, why not?) was to sit down with him when we were both relaxed and say "this is what we have, this is what we owe, this is what we make, what are our goals for the future?" That's where we set up savings funds for building a house, for buying a piano, for having a sizeable amount always available for car repairs, for retirement, for medical emergencies, for traveling, and so on - as it turned out, we had a LOT of financial goals - and now we're on our way to meeting all of them (except the piano). I do all the fiddling with figures, and the ONLY thing he has to do is tell me what he spends money on and how much so I can keep everything in order. Usually he just goes through his wallet a few times a week and hands me receipts. You could try something like that - don't approach it as "him being accountable to you" because that will make him feel 10 years old, but just as "you have to have the receipts for record keeping reasons" and remind him always to get his receipt and stick it in his wallet.

**oheoh's momma** · 05-14-2011, 09:12 PM

We are trying. coupons are not really working we eat to much generic. Maybe I should concentrate on personal and cleaning. Oh we eat way to much cereal. coupons for that also. He is a good man thanks

**oheoh's momma** · 05-16-2011, 04:19 PM

my next door neighbor came over to help set up a system.She went to rite aid and got 22 bottles of purex laundry detergent for free with coupons for free. convinced me. to try harder and work at a system. Thanks. Hubby has been on board with the allowance. He does not want me to go work . So I can take care of his mother.