Myth: If I loan money to friends or relatives, I am helping them
Truth: If I oan money to a friend or relative, the relationship will be strained or destroyed. The only relationship that would be enhanced is the kind resulting from one party's being the measter and the other party a servant.
Okay this one I truly believe. I have only lent money to friends on two occasions and both times it almost destroyed our friendship. Never again. Don't lend money to my relatives either. Even though some of them I could stand to lose.
09-08-2006, 12:20 AM
I don't lend money with any expectations of getting it back. That way, I know the deal. If I would get the money back, that would be wonderful, but I will never lend money to anyone with any expectations of getting it back.
09-08-2006, 12:29 AM
I have never had a problem with either. Had a best friend for years that I would always help her with her rent & bills, fed her, etc...never a problem. We are still friends, but she snagged a guy with lots of money and they moved away. We have loaned $$ to hubby's family in past withno issues.
I do not advise doing either though. I have just been lucky nothing went wrong.
09-08-2006, 12:30 AM
We have never loaned $$ to friends, we have made small gifts to family members (less than $500). No strings. However dh's family absolutely believes in strings and loans. My parents have never loaned us money but have made gifts.
09-08-2006, 01:41 AM
This is something DH and I don't agree on at all. :( We've loaned money to DH's family three times, and we've only gotten in back once. He feels that it's his obligation to take care of his parents and brother financially, and I feel his only obligation is to us.
09-08-2006, 02:12 AM
If I loan money, it is also with no expectations of getting it back. If my father or brother needed money and I had it, I would give it to them in a heartbeat. They would do the same for me. If I never got it back, that would be fine. I, however, do not like loaning money to friends. I've been burnt on that, but not really large amounts.
09-08-2006, 06:43 AM
The only ones I loan money to are my brothers and sisters. I have borrowed them money and I have always been paid back. It's only like $20 to $50. May not get paid for a few weeks but I know I will be paid back. To loan any more money than that I would not do it. One time my sister came to my house to take her to the clinic because she was having alot of pain and had no insurance and she was debating on going to the clinic due to not having any insurance. Very seldom does she complain of pain. I know for her to complain of pain she has to be really in alot of pain. I told her to go and I would pay for it. I knew the clinic would cost her $90. In this situation her heath was more important to me than money. In the end they gave her a sliding scale and she had to pay very little so she paid it. To borrow any money to friends I know I wouldn't because I don't want to ruin a friendship.
09-08-2006, 07:13 AM
Have been burned too many times and have seen too many relationships destroyed by loaning. We've drawn a line, we don't loan money. Period. If we can't afford to 'gift' money then we just can't do it.
09-08-2006, 05:30 PM
I agree with this...if a friend or relative was in dire straights and I could afford to help out, I would definitely give them a grocery store gift card or something, but no money and no loan!
I will admit, when DH and I were first married and totally broke, we had some really high utility bills and it was a choice between heat or much needed textbooks. My parents and his parents loaned us about $400 total, which we paid back within 6 months. They probably weren't expecting to get it back, but knew we were financially responsible and wouldn't go blow it on pizza or something.