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Thread: I need help!!!
08-17-2019, 10:57 AM #1
I need help!!!
So, here is my story....(kinda long, but here goes!
We took custody of 2 of our grandchildren 5 years ago.(their father died of a drug overdose) They were 4 months old(female) and 4 yrs old, (male) Their mother(my oldest daughter) hasn't had contact with them or us in 4 1/2 years...
They had NOTHING!!! Our youngest child was just starting college, so we thought we were gonna be empty nesters....didn't happen.
So that year we started one in daycare, one in preschool and one in college...
During this time along with student loans, I have maxed out all of our credit cards our finances are in the worst shape EVER!!!!
We have more going out than coming in. BUT in 2 years our house and car will will be paid off, so things should(hopefully) get easier then. My husband is wanting to retire in 5 years.
I need all the help I can get. I have contacted a few of the credit card companies, and got on a customer assistance program. They stopped the interest and sent up payment plans. Is this the right thing to do? I am just at a total loss....I feel so defeated!
08-17-2019, 11:48 AM #2
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Welcome to the group. I'm glad to hear your grandbabies have someone to love and care for them.
Getting a CC company to stop interest and set you up with a plan is a great way to start. Do not ever miss a payment or they will pile on that interest and you will be back where you started.
Generally the plan for your situation goes like this:
1. make a detailed accounting of every penny that comes into and goes out of your household.
2. identify places to cut and places to make changes that cost you less.
3. find a source of additional income
4. pay off smallest bills
5. when the smallest bill is paid, apply that monthly payment to the next smallest bill. Repeat.
6. somewhere along the way start setting aside funds for emergencies. This can be anything from taking a kid to the ER or having the washing machine break and need immediate replacement. Start with $100. Work up to $500, then $1000 or more.
7. keep at it. The road is long and full of potholes and you will be weary, but you will get there.Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.
If you're not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You're not going to start using it more by shoving it into a closet.
Use it up, Wear it out,
Make it do, Or do without. ~unknown
A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. ~unknown
08-17-2019, 12:09 PM #3
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Also, please apply for whatever assistance you are entitled to - tuition reductions or scholarships, food assistance, medicaid for the grandkids? I don't know exactly what applies but someone in your local/county/state government should be able to answer questions. Do not hesitate to ask for help from church groups/food pantry/clothing assistance and so on. Good luck, I hope things get under control.
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08-17-2019, 12:43 PM #4
First of all I want to commend you on taking care of your grandchildren, so hard but what a selfless act on the part of you and your husband. I second what everyone else said but was thinking maybe also see if there is any online support groups you could join. I know there is a lot of grandparents these days raising their grandchildren and others that are in the same situation might have ideas to share.I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.
08-17-2019, 01:38 PM #5
Good for the children that they had someone like you who were willing to take them inn and love them! But I can imaging it was hard; so small children are a lot of hard work.
I'm guessing they are both in school now, so child care costs are going down?
Have you set up a budget, and listed your debts?Total paid/saved: $115 900
Total goal: $290 900
To do: $175 000
08-18-2019, 10:03 PM #6
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Have you looked into getting payments for the support you provide?
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/outofhome/kinship/Make America Kind Again.
08-19-2019, 03:35 AM #7
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I have no advise but wanted to say God Bless You.....thank goodness you were able to take the children in so they have a steady stable life....my heart aches for you also. It must be heartbreaking not to have contact with your daughter. Sending you a big hug.
08-19-2019, 04:13 AM #8
That was so incredibly loving and generous of you and your husband. What an incredible gift those children were given and such a selfless act from you both. I'm sure things are a bit stressful right now and things will get better with time. I've thought of some items that can help with medical/food/college costs.
I agree with Contrary Housewife to get an understanding of money coming in & going out. I think the credit card company stopping the interest was a great idea.
I would have the college student apply for scholarships (the website of the college has a lot if you type in "scholarship" in the search bar once on the school website.) Also, the student can visit the financial aid office to see if they know of other ones. The FAFSA should be filled out since 2 more members have been added to the family and therefore, your efc (estimated family contribution) towards what you can pay towards tuition should be lowered a lot. Let the student get on the work-study program once FAFSA has been done and it will say if he/she gets grants/awards and aid from the college. If she does, she can do a work-study job on campus for cash in her pocket.
The little ones should be able to get on to Medicaid. Ask your local health dept for guidance. That will cover all medical/pharmacy/dental bills. Also see if you can apply for WIC (women infants children) to get food stamps to cover food for the littles since they're under age 5 ( the food for them is usually milk, cereal,baby formula, cheese, iron rich foods). The health dept. should be able to help as well.
Some states offer heating assistance (cash) to cover your heating bills in the winter. The energy company that supplies your electric/gas can help with that question.
Food stamps (SNAP) does have an online site that you can put in your info and see if you're eligible. It will guide you on who to call as well. Food banks in your area can supply needed items and help supplement your food storage. Look under the name "food banks in (your state)" and a bunch should pop up with details.
The snowball method for paying off the credit cards is something that Dave Ramsey preaches all the time. He has a 7 baby step list that tells how to reduce debt. He has an online free podcast and many books that you can get from the library.