schools-didn't mean for it to become a rant-long
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  1. #1
    Registered User Suzy's Avatar
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    Default schools-didn't mean for it to become a rant-long

    I homeschooled for 5 years. I would have more except we were trying to keep peace with the ex-wife. The first 4 years I belonged to a local homeschool group. The first 3 years of that I heard complaints and frustrations among the members. The 4th year a friend of mine asked me to run for President because it seemed to everyone that I didn't take sides. I did and was elected President. During the summer I got together with the other elected officers whom none were in office the years before. All of us were "new" to the positions. We discussed the complaints from the past year and thought of ways to smooth things out. At our first homeschool meeting of the year we addressed the complaints from the past and what we thought were good solutions along with our "normal" business. We even asked for other suggestions. We thought we came away from that meeting all in agreement due to the comments we heard. (We knew going into this that we would never please everyone.) We learned that the group had a lot of back-stabbing going on. We continued on and just put up with it. By the 5th year of homeschooling I had had enough and when elections came up I did not run again. I became a non-active member because of my kids. I didn't go to any meetings, mom's night outs, or participated in any votes. I was there for the the kid's because they had made friends and enjoyed the field trips. I paid my dues so the active members couldn't complain about our participation. But I became a member of an out-of-town group to comply with the laws of homeschooling and for accountability. I never attended a meeting. Just turned in my paperwork only. That was the most peaceful year and unfortunatly our last year.

    People who don't know the ins-and-outs of homeschooling are against it. I was told many times about my kids not getting to socialize with others. My kids socialized more than private or public school children. As I feel all homeschool children do. Even though our children now go to a private school, I still wish for homeschooling again. Yes, we cover all areas of teaching. We have to maintain records and keep up with the number of hours per day of teaching. But I feel we can cover more in those hours and the kids learn more than a regular school setting. And by doing so, less "homework" or no homework at all. All depends how each family teaches. I said all that to say this-that gives our kids more time to socialized. My kids played soccor for a nearby town. They played baseball every year and even went to a play-off. They were members of 4-H and still are. Not to mention the activities and clubs that the homeschool groups have. My kids also played piano for 4 years. They took gymnastics and yes even the boys enjoyed that. My DD took clogging also. We were busy but not to the point of being on the go and not enjoying life. I made sure the kids (and myself) weren't overwhelmed. For the years that I kept up with it, the National Spelling Bee Champions were homeschool students. What do people have to say about that!! Sorry for the attitude there.

    And as for being prepared to go to a school setting from a homeschool setting....... I can only speak for my kids, but they adjusted just fine. I even had the teachers tell me that they adjusted very well. Better than what the teachers actually thought they would. No my children don't make straight A's. Well, one does. But the others were all on the B honor roll for the year.

    I have homeschooled grades from K5-6th. This will be the 3rd year that our kids will be in private school. Yes, tuition is expensive. No, we are not rich. Why do you think I am on a frugality web site? We need to save money and cut back. Public schools in our district are really bad. From the attitude of the teachers and students, No Child Left Behind Program, cameras in the classrooms and hallways and even to the doorways of the bathrooms. Police having an office in the school. Not officer-office.

    One thing on the No Child Left Behind-and this is my opinion- I feel that instead of it raising the bar for the kids to work towards and get help from teachers to get there, it has lowered the bar for all children and has brought down the education. I know first hand, we did send the kids there for one year and due to our (mine and DH) frustrations with the school, we barely made it through without taking the kids out. We did finish the year and homeschooled a year until we found another school-private.

    We are lucky, blessed, to find a private school like Jefferson Davis Academy. They still have prayer in the classroom. A preacher comes on Wednesday and has chapel in the gym. No this isn't catagorized as a Christian school but it does has Christain values. I graduated from a private school that didn't do that.No uniforms, but does have a dress code. My DH graduated from the public school in our district. He said that times have changed. We like private schools- we liked homeschooling better. But as I said in the beginning, we are trying to keep peace with an ex.

    Ok, I got it all out. I meant for this just to be a positive thread on homeschooling, instead I think it turned into a rant for those against homeschooling. I apologize for hurting anyone's feelings. But this is my opinion on schools. Hope I still have friends here.

  2. #2
    Registered User hollyhill's Avatar
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    I really enjoyed reading your perspective....I don't often hear from former homeschoolers but when I do they are often nostalgic, having enjoyed their homeschool years.

    I do have a question for you though..... why do you think there is so many problems in the homeschool group environment? So much comparison and pettiness? I guess because the homeschoolers who do not condone such behavior just leave...leaving behind the squabbling mothers... but is there more to it?

    I wonder...

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    Registered User Suzy's Avatar
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    I think the bickering comes from the mom's who honestly want the best for their children (as all parents) but just think their way is better. But don't put forth any effort to implement their ideas. When I belonged to the group unless you called the officers to let hem know of your opinion or suggestions, suggestions weren't discussed. When I became Pres. I had an open forum for discussion. That worked better but it was still those that didn't speak up during the meeting but had plently to say later. I guess that is some's nature. But in the end, it hurts the kids. But you can't leave out those that just think they are better than you. Most homeschoolers are Christians -I said most-but some take the philosophy (spelling??) of being a Christian on Sunday only- as for the respect and kindness towards others are concern. That's how some people are. Most homeschool parents discuss the pro's and con's of curriculums from past experiences. So bickering over that was almost none. Some mom's, in my opinion, wants their children to be invloved in EVERYTHING. And be the best in EVERYTHING. I feel they are that way because they feel they have something to prove. And then the bragging comes into play. Usually, when you homeschool, all the mom's and kids run in the same activity circles. So everyone is together for events. When one child out shines another, those mom's egos gets hurt. Then those feelings don't go away. The kids act more adult than the parents.I know that isn't all the reasons for the bickering but that pretty much sums it up. Any way, that is my take on the situation.

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  5. #4
    Registered User hollyhill's Avatar
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    Yes..... I see it all so clearly now...... chuckle chuckle. I very quickly learned to keep my mouth shut, never to mention any accomplishments...... but if I wanted to complain the mothers were all there eagerly listening to my "problems" I guess it made them feel better.....
    So if I complained about my son's reading difficulties they were my friends, if I talked about my son's choral composition having been selected to be performed by a professional choir, I would receive a cemented smile and a "isn't that nice..." LOL.
    It took me a bit before I figured it out because I was the opposite. I didn't like to hear about the complaints, I LOVED to hear about what was working and who was excelling at what.... It helped to show that homeschooling really worked and here was the "proof". Of course, this type of negative interaction isn't just restricted to homeschoolers, I have encountered similar behaviour elsewhere. It is like you said, it's in their nature.
    I personally like to rub shoulders with greatness. It has a way of pulling everyone up. Down in the dumps attitutudes have a way of pulling everybody down.

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