Frustrated!!!
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Thread: Frustrated!!!

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    Default Frustrated!!!

    My husband lost $40 today and had the audacity to blame me because it was my idea to use the envelope system. He thinks using cash is silly because a card is more convenient. Last month we spent $732 eating out and this was my attempt to control our eating out, which has been working excellently (budgeted $200 for the month and we still have $80 left). I don't know what to do to get him on board because to me the envelope system is working wonderfully, but he can't see it.

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    The envelope system is hard for some honestly. It really is very convienent to just swipe your debit card versus fiddling with cash. So I do get that. Working with cash really helps focus on the fact that this is all you have for this item on the budget. That way you don't accidentally spend your power payment for example. (Been there, done that....thanks husband of mine).

    I would try to show him the value of it and how it can help you both maximize your money.

    My husband is a military man so I stole a analogy off Shark tank and changed it a little bit for our situation LOL. I want my money to work for me, I send them off like little soldiers to do a specific job. If they don't do their job the whole army could fall. You don't want any of your soldiers going rogue

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    There's an app for that. I don't know what it's called but it keeps coming up on a game I play. I'll try to pay attention next time I see it. I'm sure there are others.

    Thank you and your husband for serving our country.

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    I think the app is called Digit. It looks like it pops up reminders about what bills are due soon and how much you will have left before payday if you make a purchase. I don't really know the details of it or if it's any good.

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    You could still try the "envelope" system. Instead of putting cash into envelopes, put an amount, use your debit card, then deduct the amount. When the amount is zero, you're done spending. I haven't done this, but it was just a thought for those that don't want to carry a lot of cash. I think it could work for some. Just an idea.

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    Was he bringing the whole envelope with him when the money was lost? Maybe just take a small amount out to spend and put it in a wallet or something. But keep the envelope at home ….

    The envelopes can get bulky but until there is a good idea of how to curb spending and then doing it for a few months, using a card and trying to calculate things by memory probably won't work. I tried to calculate in my head and keep track but it never worked for me. I really needed to see receipts, feel the cash, and keep a tally of purchases. It took several months of adjusting my budget and how much I was spending before I realized how this would work out.

    Also, an idea is that only one person (you) can touch the envelopes. You'll be in charge of the cash. If he wants cash for something, he has to run it by you. My parents always did that. Once, one of them took $ from the envelope without telling the other. Guess who got blamed? Me. I never touched their money and the lack of communication had the finger pointed at me. I was a teen at that time and needless to say, once the smoke cleared, the person who took the money finally spoke up.. Keeping communication lines open is good.

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    I would open a separate debit account for your dh's spending money. Get him to agree on the amount of his allowance and what it covers. He'll soon catch on that when its gone he's done. If he's unhappy with running out of cash you can then suggest things like carrying his lunch and not buying Starbucks to save. Use envelopes for everything else. If he's wanting money for "anything else" he'll need to come to you and discuss before you hand over the cash.

    My late dh and I had an agreement that neither of us would spend over $50 on anything without discussing it first. We also had an agreement that the first month a credit card bill could not be paid in full it would be canceled. Never had to cancel a card and I can only recall him calling me at the office twice in 25 years to ask about an over $50 purchase. We also agreed we could not afford to eat out so went out only twice a year once for out birthdays (2 days apart so only one time out) and our anniversary.

    Personally I take out cash for groceries, gas and some misc. spending so I have to pay attention to how much is left BEFORE I start shopping. The rest stays in checking to pay the bills and my checkbook stays home. I do not have a debit card. I do have three credit cards and use one for a couple months, paying it off each month and then switch to another card etc. Doing so I have maintained an excellent credit rating even though I live on social security and have no debt.

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