Children and bedrooms
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  1. #1
    Registered User mmy2grls's Avatar
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    Default Children and bedrooms

    I am not sure where to post this. Since it is me and my 2 girls who live together, i've always been relaxed about toys and where toys are kept. The only way I can describe my house is to say a toy store eploded in my home, toys are kept in every room.

    My house does not look spotless because toys are everywhere. I'm thinking of doing this, my daughters have their own rooms. All their toys will be kept in their rooms only and they will be allowed to bring one toy out at a time to play in the living room, when they are done it goes back to their room.

    No more sitting up Barbie towns on the dining room table, the dining room table will be used for eating only.

    I feel like a meanie here but i'm going to start to expect my 8 year old to do some chores. I have never expected her to do anything. I am going to strat making her put her clothes away, make her bed, and help with light cleaning when I clean house.

    I just feel that I need to get a grip with our house instead of having it over run with toys.

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    Registered User Iansmommy's Avatar
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    Sounds like a good idea. I have 3 kids, 2 of which have their own rooms 8 & 6 yrs. The baby still sleeps in our room. Their toys are in their rooms. They are required to pick up their rooms, they clean their own bathroom, help with dishes and help as needed in other areas.

    I think it is a good idea for kids to have "chores" or responsibilities.

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    I think it's an excellent idea. I have a 5 year old daughter. she has a walk in closet with floor to ceiling shelves STUFFED with toys.

    You walk in my house and have NO CLUE I have a kid. There are no kids shoes, packpacks, jackets, dolls toys, anything downstairs or in any other room (except some stored in the basement). I have always had the rule of bring down what you want but when you're finished playhing, it goes right back in its spot. Now at 5, she plays IN her room instead of anywhere else. She said it's easier then bringing her toys out and having to take them back up lol

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    Registered User Frugal Nurse's Avatar
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    They're are at the right age to learn the responsibility of keeping their living space.. well..... liveable.

    Now... let me share a thing or two about children. you can't make them do anything. Nope. Don't even try it.

    What you really want to do is encourage them to have respect for their surroundings. Model it (I'm sure you already do).

    Yes, an 8 year old is ready to put her own clothes away, make her bed and help out. But you can't make her do it. lol!! You want to convince her that it was her idea. That breeds compliance for sure.

    State what you expect in your nice mommy voice.
    "Wow! DD1! I don't know what happened to all these years... but you're 8 now! Holy smokes! Well... I should have told you this long ago! I expect you to start putting your clothes away on your own. You get to chose which drawers you want your clothes in~ but you have to put them away. Also, it's time you start making your own bed. I'll show you how to do it- but you need to make it when you get up in the morning."

    There... done.

    now for the other stuff... it's clear expectations. let her know ahead of time what you expect. But don't overload her.

    Is the younger one ready?

    and YEAH.. I remember the day my mom asked for help.

    (it was downhill from there! LOL)

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    Registered User Suzy's Avatar
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    We have 5 kids. We started at an early age with chores. Simple thing as empting trash cans or replacing the bag. Not neccesarily making the bed due to ages but pulling up the sheets and blankets. As they got older chores were readjusted. That has worked well for us.

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    Registered User zakity's Avatar
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    I like FrugalNurse's ideas.

    You could also have the baby help too. She can help carry stuff, hand you things, or whatever as her "chores". My guys always helped me with chores with they were little.

    The girls could also start helping you set the table and stuff for dinner. The oldest could get out the plates, napkins, and utensils and the baby can put them on the table.

    They are also old enough to fold towels and clothes. The oldest can fold everything but the dishrags and washcloths. The baby can fold the washclothes and dishrags because they are simple. The oldest can fold shirts and shorts and stuff and the baby can sort and fold undies and match up the socks.

    I would put it to them as you need help. Usually, kids are more than willing to help out.

    We have a chore board with a master list of the chores for the household that they are responsible for on it. I mark the ones that need to be done that day. We have a chip system also. They get a chip a chore. They used to be able to turn it in for money or extra computer/video game time, but it has morphed into just money. It has worked out great for us. They used to spend everything they got. Now, they are saving up and buying big Lego sets and stuff that they want. It has actually been a good money/budgeting lesson.

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    Registered User IntlMom's Avatar
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    You bet they can help keep their room clean. My kids have their own rooms and they are required to keep it clean (the older ones). They may not do the fun thing they requested until their room is clean (Wii or TV usually). My daughter, who is 2 1/2 even helps me clean up her room and take clothes that I have folded back to her room. They all know that if a toy does not "have a home", it gets thrown away......really!
    Good luck!

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    I think they are old enouhg to help. Wesley helps me clean his room, put his laundry away and he helps me cook dinner. He also tries to help fold laundry and he throws his trash away.

    He knows his toys have a certain place to be at. WE've got a couple small baskets of them in the living room, the rest are in his room.

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    Registered User baxjul's Avatar
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    I feel the same way, my dd's room is such a mess. I don't feel like cleaning, because we are moving. I'm just burnt out.
    Good luck to you!!

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    Registered User inneedofhope's Avatar
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    Ds is almost 8, and I've been working on giving him more responsibility. He's usually proud to be helpful. I tend to engage him as needed, rather than regular jobs (except the mail, he loves to get the mail first LOL). Today I told him to put the cold stuff in the fridge while i brought in the rest of the groceries. He whined about it, but got it done. (was only 2 small bags). I try to keep it in the We're in this together attitude and remind him that with his help, we'll have time to do fun stuff together.

  12. #11
    Registered User FrugalMomof3's Avatar
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    I think it's a good idea, my DD is 12 and she doesnt like to clean up either so I tell her if you want to treat your stuff like that, I will give it someone who will play with it and put it back where it belongs and she hurries to grab it and put it in her room.

    I also agree the baby can help as well, she will learn early on that her stuff when done being played with belongs in her room.

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    Registered User jkelstaten's Avatar
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    I have an almost 5 year old and a 3 three year old and they are expected to keep all their toys picked up when they are not being played with. We do have some items in our family room that are theirs, but they are expected to keep it tidy. Up until we got bigger beds for them they were expected to make their beds everyday (simply pulling up the sheet and making sure the pillow was on the bed). Now they have a twin day bed with a trundle and they can pull the sheets up on the trundle, but I put it away everyday and make the other bed because it's a little more complex.

    Everytime I dust they get a duster as well. If I'm cleaning windows they get a dry towel and "clean" with me.

    They put their clothes in the laundry basket, carry folded clothes to their dresser and put them away.

    They help with unloading the dishwasher and love "washing" unbreakable dishes in the sink.

    They can fold their pjs in the morning and put them away. (They actually do surprisingly well at this)

    They also pick up the baby's toys.

    I'm not saying my house is spotless by any means, but if you teach them early then you don't have to fight with them later. I love my Dh, but his mom used to do all of his cleaning for him, so he just never thinks about where he puts stuff and that I end up cleaning up after him. You do your children a favor by teaching them now. My mom didn't clean up for me and my brothers and I were responsible for most of the cleaning duties around our house, now it's automatic for me.

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    Registered User SewCrafty's Avatar
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    Wow gals, I'm from a different generation from you all. LOL it was EXPECTED from us (7 in all) to pick up after ourselves. I actually don't remember mom saying it specifically, but we did it.

    As we got older we had chores, girls (4 of us) each had a duty at dinner time, set the table, pick up the table, wash dishes, dry and put away dishes. (I always opted for washing, do you know how hard it is to put away left overs in a FULL fridge?)

    The boys took out the trash, mowed the lawn and shoveled snow. Not to say this didn't fall on us girls over the years also as the family went boy, 4 girls, 2 boys.

    Also on the weekends, we also had the added chore of picking a room to clean. We didn't get allowances, BUT if we wanted to go to the dance on Friday night, we did our chores!

    What makes me say all this is:

    What has happened to families helping each other for the greater good of all concerned?

    I can remember having to weed the gardens every summer, OMGoodness I HATED that! The bugs just seemed to love me and I got eaten alive! Still do to this day. But I did it because, we wouldn't eat if we didn't.

    I don't know, guess times have changed. LOL

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    Registered User Momto2Boyz's Avatar
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    Now that it is summer vacation, we have instituted this policy too. The boys have always had a toy bin in the living room and I've banned it! (I felt horrible about it too )

    I constantly have toys everywhere. The boys spent this week getting toys out for our garage sale. And they did really well. They actually got rid of about 2/3 of their toys! All stuff they never played with. So I got them down to the toys they love and it has helped with the mess. Plus, when it is time to clean their room now, there aren't nearly the amount of toys there used to be, so it isn't such a monumental job to keep their room clean. So cutting back the toys has done a wonder for us and keeping the floors free of rogue toys!

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    Registered User Edna_E's Avatar
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    Yeah for chores! I pretty much think that if the kid is big enough to pick up a toy to play with, they're big enough to put it back where they got it. By about age 4 they can help a little with simple household stuff, and they often like to. DS loved to vacuum with the sweeper (he provided sound effects).

    That said, I'll play devil's advocate on the idea of discouraging playing in the living room. I think kids going off into their own rooms to play by themselves rather than being out in the middle of the family area socializing with everybody while they play is a contributing factor to some of the problems we see with young people being poorly socialized these days. That is my primary objection to kids spending too much time playing Nintendo and such also. I think kids should be playing with other people around, and in my house that meant my son was playing in the living room while I was doing extra work there or cooking in the adjacent and open kitchen. Then the toys got put up before whatever else was going on - friends coming over, going shopping, going for a walk, or whatever. The trick is to plan the few minutes for putting the toys away as part of the transition to the next activity - and to see that it gets done correctly at that time. I didn't just tell DS to put his things away, I'd walk by and check to see if he was putting them in the right place. Once time I saw him stuffing things under his bed, and immediately cancelled the outing (ice cream - his choice - and I'm sure if it had been grocery shopping it would not have been as effective) and had him pull everything out from under his bed and put it all away correctly (this was obviously not the first time he'd stashed things, but it wasn't horrendous either). We generally got along pretty well that way - not spotless, but not buried in toys either, and we definitely developed an enjoyment of each other's company that I treasure today.

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