A confession & explanation!!!
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  1. #1
    Registered User nvmommyx6's Avatar
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    Default A confession & explanation!!!

    I've been damned near non-existent here for awhile, I figured it has gotten to the point where I should probably tell you all what the hell is going on!!

    My life for the past 7 years has been spent with a pretty verbally abusive man and his equally abusive children. I've recently decided I cannot take this $hit anymore and had the balls to confront him on all of it yet again!

    It dawned on me awhile back, WTF am I doing, not only myself but most importantly WTF am I making my kids put up with this $hit for! I gave him many opportunity to fix the situation, every time he blows smoke up my A$$ telling me what he thinks I need to hear to keep me around! SO, Sunday before last I let him know that I could not continue to raise my children this way, for them or myself to be treated this way anymore and if it was not changed (right now) I would have no choice but to take my children and leave!

    As usual, he really blew smoke that time, and the "I'm gonna make everything right" attitude lasted a whopping 3 days!!

    Then I had another discussion with him Sunday, This time I just explained to him I was done, even if he was to actually make the effort this time instead of the usual smoke blowing show, I was at a point in my life where I just could not forget and had to go.

    And of course he begged me not to go, but.....I ignored his smoke blowing abilities this time and will be packing our things during the week while my kids are gone to school and he is gone to work. I am seriously considering calling the local abuse shelter, We have places to go that is not an issue but I am sure there is other services that we could use there!

    Last night my daughter was upset, in tears when I put her in bed (she's just turned 13) and she'd had a bad night at baseball practice so I said to her, " I'm sorry you got so beat up tonight at practice I guess it was just not your night" she said to me, " Thats not it Mom, It's Nick (his son, who is one of the biggest parts of the problems in this house) he screamed at me to go do my chore and I am tired of him being such an A-hole." I told her when he does those thing you need to go tell randy (my old man) and her reply was what sealed the deal for me, " Whats the point of that Mom, he wont do anything about his attitude like he's never done anything and he'll just scream at me and it's to scary so I don't go to him"!!!

    My visits will be rare, if any for awhile while I am packing us up to leave! And I just wanted to let you all know whats been going on, and give you a proper and well deserved explanation as to why I have been "not here"!!

    See y'all on the other side!

  2. #2
    Registered User Momto2Boyz's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry, I couldn't tell from any of your posts that you were dealing with something like this.

    Stop in here for support whenever you can or need too. You know we'll be here to help! Check out one of the shelters or agencies. Even if you don't "check in" to a shelter, I'm sure they have transition programs that will be able to help you in some way or another while you need support.

    Stick to your guns and do what you feel is best. Men in need of attitude adjustments (I shouldn't be sexist...women too) normally don't change, so stick to your decision and let the smoke blow right over you. Do what you need to do! It sounds like your kids will be behind you!

  3. #3
    Registered User IntlMom's Avatar
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    I agree, I had no idea......wow, sure sorry about all this!!

    Glad you stopped in to tell us what was going on....I've been think about you!!

    You go take care of yourself, and your kiddos........ we'll be looking forward to hearing how it all turned out for the best!!!!!

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  5. #4
    Registered User cissylu's Avatar
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    CJ I`m so sorry this has been happening to you and your children. Some people are just mean and will not change. You dont deserve being treated like that.
    Good for you putting a end to it, you`ll be so much happier not dealing with that abuse all the time.
    I wish you the best of luck and I am here for you.
    cissylu

  6. #5
    Super Moderator Michelle's Avatar
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    I had no idea either. You need to do what is right for you and more importantly, what is right for your children.

    Wishing you the best.

  7. #6
    Registered User JanieD's Avatar
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    I'm sure this was a difficult decision to make, but you deserve better. We are here for you when you need us. I would check into the resources available to help you though this. I pray this difficult time will pass quickly for you & your kids.

  8. #7
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    I hate to see any marriage end, BUT if it's for the safety of yourself and your kids...RUN! I'll be thinking about ya hun. IMO ( and I know it ain't much LOL), I think you're doing the right thing. YOUR babies don't need to be terrorized by his brutes. Take care of yourselves!

  9. #8
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    You're doing the right thing. Stay strong, and know that you have all of our support and encouragement!

  10. #9
    Registered User cab54's Avatar
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    Some men beg to be left. Be careful, and let us know how you are when you can.

  11. #10

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    Keep in touch as you can so we won't be so worried about you! And you so deserve better treatment than this.....
    Funny how sometimes it takes the kids to really make us see what we have known for a long time. You daughter really helped you, she made it clear that you needed to look out for YOU!
    Hang in there CJ, please post as you can so we know you are ok...
    And be extra careful, mean men are something to be careful of!
    Your in my thoughts and prayers.
    Last edited by Patty A; 03-31-2009 at 11:16 AM.

  12. #11
    Registered User onencgirl's Avatar
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    Do what you need to do... we'll be here for you. It's not good living in a viral situation like that. Not good for you or your children.

  13. #12
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    Sorry that you are going through all of this. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you and your children can move forward from this and onto a fulfilling happy life.

  14. #13
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    Definitely leave....Your children are watching how you handle this. They will learn to be strong and stick up for themselves. There is nothing to be gained from teaching them to live in a situation like this. Good for you to realize that it is not going to change! God Bless You in this new path you are about to take. We will all be thinking of you....

  15. #14
    Registered User Debbie-cat's Avatar
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    C.J. this is the exact reason why I left my last boyfriend. I woke up one day and thought that the most important thing in my life was my child and he didn't deserve to live in an atmosphere like that. We left and I never looked back. Times were very tough for a while until everything settled and I got myself into a routine. Hang in there girl, you deserve a better life.

    Things will turn out great, you and your children will be happy again and you will have no regrets.

    Keep in touch so we know how it is going for you. Sending hugs and saying a prayer for you and your children on your new journey.



    Last edited by Debbie-cat; 03-31-2009 at 12:18 PM.

  16. #15
    Registered User Lady_V's Avatar
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    You did it!

    No one here at the Village may have known what was going on... but you did... and you did something about it!

    Never look back... never surrender.

    As a child there were times I would beg Mom to leave hubby#2, and would get as many jobs as I could after school to help her pay for rent... to just get AWAY from there. She stayed so we (brother and I) would have a better life. I'd rather have crammed all 3 of us in a studio and eat spaghetti every night than to have to live with him. I moved out of the house 3 weeks after I graduated high school.

    I married a man "just like Dad" when I was 18. I put up with it at first and then it dawned on me... what the hell am I doing? I am a person and there is no way I am putting up with this anymore.

    If you are ever tempted to go back (and it can happen) remember, the best things you can give your kids is not a big house, it's a safe and happy home.

    I'll be thinking about you all.

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