HELP chores for my sons
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  1. #1
    Registered User mom23boyz's Avatar
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    Question HELP chores for my sons

    As of Monday these boys are going to get back to chores. Since we've moved they have NONE!! I grew up doing everything since my Mom had to work 2 jobs so I have sort of a hang up asking them to do chores but DH is really bothered that they don't have anything but their rooms and bathrooms to care for..once a week. So I have thought long and hard and decided he is right. With just a little bit of help I can keep up on things better. Now I have a daily chore for each and weekly chores that need to be done. I only am requiring 1 chore a day each. My DS' are 14,13 and 12. I need 1 more daily chore that is equivalent to the 2 I have:
    ~Empty dishwasher/take out the trash/recyclables(as needed)and take barrels to curb on Tuesday night
    ~ Clean up dog poop with 3 dogs its gonna need to be a daily chore as well as clean up the leaves as needed (no trees in my yard just from flying into yard)
    Weekly will be:
    ~clean bedrooms and bathrooms
    ~Dh thinks they should wash my car(excursion) once a week inside and out. I can't due to my back problems.

    Any suggestions are greatly appreciated! TIA

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    They should all be doing there laundry. Over see at first. Put a detailed instruction up near the washer. Be prepared for stinky kids at first and running out of clothes but they will learn. Peer pressure will assist you.
    My DS takes out the trash and DD does dishes. If DS leaves Too many not picked up or is using too many he has to do them too. DS mows but for pay. I call money given to them a living allotment not an allowance. Chores and money cannot be paired because not doing them is not an option. Just the way we do it..

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    Moderator nuisance26's Avatar
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    ~Cooking! My mom put me in charge of one dinner a week when I was a teen. I got to pick what I wanted to make and she picked up the ingredients. My brothers were not required to do this but I plan to enforce it with my son. It's really fun for them, honest!
    Boys should be able to everything around the home that girls are expected to do: cooking, vacuuming, the shopping, laundry, dishes, setting the table, etc. Your future dughters in law will forever thank you!~

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    Moderator Ceashels's Avatar
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    Clean the mirrors and any glass doors weekly
    Wipe off the baseboards in one room a week and rotate through the house
    If you have back problems you should not be playing push me/pull you with a vacuum cleaner, they are old enough.

  6. #5
    Registered User madhen's Avatar
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    I think chores are a great way to learn how to function independently, when the time comes. With that in mind, the above suggestions of cooking and laundry, and other things that they will have to learn how to do anyway, are great. How about clearing the table and doing dishes, as opposed to just emptying the d/w? Each boy could be given two days a week when that is his job, and you can do it once a week.
    DH aka Mad Hen
    (http://mad-hen-creations.blogspot.com/)

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    Registered User mama2James's Avatar
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    Maybe you could come up with a bunch of chores that don't necessarily have to be done daily, and put them in a basket for the boys to pick from randomly. Each day one boy could do the dishes/trash, the other take care of the dogs and the third could pick a chore from the basket, and they could rotate.
    I think it's great for them to have chores to do. When you are part of a family, you have to pitch in. My little guy is three and is responsible for putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, taking his toys out of the livingroom and into his own room at the end of the day and feeding the cat. He does these things with reminders and help from us, he's not old enough to remember them on his own, but that will come soon enough. He also is expected to pitch in with whatever I ask him to do, as a lesson in obeying and following directions. Cleaning his room is too big of a job for him to tackle, but when mommy says "Come and help me clean your room", he helps. He also takes things to the trash and puts nonbreakable dishes in the sink etc.
    Someone brought up the point of not tying chores to allowance. Obviously he's too young to have an allowance, but when he starts getting one it won't be tied to his chores directly, but tied to behaving himself and following the rules overall...which include chores. Chores are just the price of living under my roof, not something you get "paid" for!

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    Registered User Rhayne's Avatar
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    Being an only child I had all the chores to do and I wasn't paid an allowance for them. I did dishes, vacuumed/swept/mop, laundry(mine and i'd help my mom with all other laundry), bathed the dogs/cats, walked the dogs, mowed the lawn (my father and I took turns, i actually enjoyed it), took out trash/recycling. I didn't do it ALL but 95% of the time when I was asked to do something I did it.

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    My daughter (10 years old) thinks she is the only child on the planet with chores. *snort*

    Our kids do the following:
    * fold/put away laundry
    * empty dishwasher
    * vaccuum
    * clean bathrooms
    * clean rooms
    * empty garbages
    * bring cans in from the curb

    They don't do all of these all the time but they do know how to do them based on ages (6 year old doesn't do all the 10 year old does)

    I think chores are necessary. I'm not going to be the only one picking up and cleaning

  10. #9
    Registered User zakity's Avatar
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    We have a chore matrix. They rotate each week. We have a white board that the chores are listed on and I mark which ones need done that day, well, except for the daily ones, they get done every day no matter what.


    Our list of chores:
    Daily:
    kitty litter
    clean kitty dishes and refill water
    taking out the compost
    taking out the recycling
    table duty - This person responsible for cleaning up after dinner, wiping the table down after meals, and filling the dishwasher.
    KP duty - This person is my kitchen slave. They scrub potatoes, make muffins, biscuits, and cornbread, stir things, run and get things from the garage, etc.

    The weekly chores are:
    bathroom
    living room
    kitchen

    The occasionally chores are:
    bring wood to the house from the woodpile
    bringing wood in the house from the porch
    gathering up all the garbage in the house
    emptying our water bottles after we get home
    hanging out clothes on the line and taking them back down
    watering the garden
    picking the ripe produce in the garden
    weeding
    folding putting away the clothes
    folding and putting away the towels
    cleaning out the microwave
    gathering cans up to take back to the store
    bringing the garbage and recycling bins to the curb and back to the house after they were emptied

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    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    They are old enough to do laundry, vacuum and dust, and of course set the table and clear it afterward (load dishwasher).

    I'll also second the idea of having a kitchen helper, someone responsible for getting things out to thaw, cutting vegetables, etc. That can lead into cooking one night a week. Grocery shopping,too. I see so many young people, on their own in a grocery store just overwhelmed because they've never shopped before and don't know what they should be buying.
    Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.

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    Registered User 2ndGenGranola's Avatar
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    In our house we have it divided this way...

    10 y/o -- all things kitchen -- this included in/out of dishwasher, clearing table, floors -- and cats

    8 y/o -- wash/dry their laundry, bathrooms from mirrors to floor -- and dog

    6 y/o -- dusting/sweeping living/bedrooms

    Everyone is responsible for hanging/folding their own clothes and picking up their own clutter.

    If someone needs extra $$ or to work off a "debt", they can do grown up clothes or clean bedroom

    It sounds like a lot but it is only about 15 minutes a day.

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    Registered User YankeeMom's Avatar
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    My boys are 11 and 8. Their chores are:

    11yo
    ~fill pets water bowls
    ~clear the table after dinner
    ~scoop the litter boxes 3x/wk
    ~take the dogs out in the afternoons
    ~sort recyclables
    ~help dh & ds8 take out the trash & recyclables.
    ~keep his room clean
    ~keep the shared bathroom clean
    ~put away folded laundry (folded by me)
    ~anything else I ask him to do

    8yo
    ~fill the dogs' food bowls
    ~set the table for dinner
    ~sort recyclables
    ~help dh & ds11 take out garbage & recyclables
    ~keep his room clean
    ~help ds11 keep the bathroom clean
    ~put away his folded laundry
    ~anything else I ask him to do

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    Growing up, we did not have an allowance. We had privleges and responsibilities. Responsibilities were the chores, privleges were the things we wanted - and it varied as we grew up, from an extra story at night to an extra half and hour before bedtime, going out to the diner with my dad for breakfast on Saturday morning, getting a magazine at the newspaper stand with my grandfather, etc. Later it became negotiating rides places (my best friend lived 40 minutes away), time on the phone and eventually - the family car on Friday nights until 11 PM!

    Every year the day after our birthday, we sat down with my mom and negotiated a new responsibility and a new privlege. So each year we added a chore or got a harder, more complicated chore, and an additional benefit. I think this was an excellent way to deal with chores and "allowances" and I hope to do the same with my children (as yet unborn, so it's easy for me to say).

    I'm trying to remember what my chores were at these ages. I do clearly remember my 12th birthday was the year I had to start doing my own laundry, but it was also the year I got to take the babysitting class with the American Red Cross and started babysitting bigger kids (the rule was, the kids had to be able to talk), and worked my way to younger kids as I got older and more experienced. I thought that was a fair trade and was particularly proud of myself for negotiating that year.

    Just an idea I wanted to share.

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    Registered User Trishagirl's Avatar
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    I have a 17 yr old son and he does the dishes and keeps his room clean & vacuums it wkly. He gets his folded clothes & puts it away after I fold it and put it on the dryer. Your boys could also take the dogs for walks. Helping with the recycling is a good one and cleaning up after the dogs & feeding them too is another good chore.

  16. #15
    Registered User cheles2kids's Avatar
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    Well...I would suggest them doing their own laundry.

    I have two kiddos~dd. who is 15 & a ds. who is 17, they have been doing their own laundry now for about 3 years.

    Each week, for about a month, I made them help me "sort" clothes, showing them which temp. to use (which for the most part we use cold water, except for the whites~towels, sheets, etc.), how to measure the detergent, etc.

    The first week they watched me and we discussed why or how we do it a certain way.
    Then the next 2 weeks, they did it on their own with supervision from me, that way they had a chance to ask questions and to get feedback from me.
    The last week, they were left to do it on their own.

    They each have their own hamper in their rooms and they each get assigned a two "laundry days" each week.
    Twice a month they are responsible for doing their bedding.

    The one thing that I would like to add to this is to have a basket of a certain size that they can fill, in order not to overload the washer, because otherwise...lol, yep, you guessed it.
    They are gonna try to stuff everything into one load to get it done faster.

    As for the washing the car?
    I'm not sure that they are old enough/tall enough even with a ladder to clean it & clean it well.
    Just my own opinion but I think I would wait another year or so on this one.

    I would also like to add that both of my kids are assigned two family household chore to do each week, this is in addition to their regular chores~dd. is responsible for dusting the livingroom each week and ds. is responsible for cleaning/sweeping the back porch and they each have a day to empty the dishwasher.

    I keep the rest of the home clean, but they are learning responsibility for themselves by keeping their rooms cleaned, laundry done & their bathroom cleaned.
    But I also think it's important that they do a family chore that directly impacts the families' living areas.

    They are also responsible for cleaning their own bathroom~
    they each clean their side of the sink, ds. does the toilet & dd. does the tub and garbage.
    I do the floors.

    I found whenever I have to revamp their chores, I always include them in the decision making process.
    "Here is the list of chores that need done, which day would you like to chose to do them?" kind of situation, that way, although they may not like having chores, it does give them some kind of say and makes them feel a bit more in control.

    Do I still have to check with them from time to time about whether their chores are finished?? Heck yes, I mean c'mon, they are teenagers~lol
    But...I will say for the most part, they do them without any problems.

    Also another thing...once you change/add to their chore charts, make sure you allow them enough time to readjust to their new responsibilities.

    I've learned through the years and through many chore charts, that our kids tend to go through stages:
    First comes teaching them how to care for themselves and their things.

    Then the teaching them chores to learn responsibility

    Eventually we teach them chores to learn how they will eventually need to be responsible in a job.
    Michelle in middle Tennessee!


    Ever so slowly rebuilding my stockpile...

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