Raising a Little Woman

[Lady_V]

I wanted to share something we are doing in our home for and with my daughter.

My Diva is chemically, physically and hormonally tested to be 13.10 years old... but she is still mentally and chronologically 9.11 years old. On top of the normal day to day dramas of being "almost 10 Momma"... she has the teen angst thrown in because she doesn't understand WHY her body is so different than others.

We are starting a 'secret notebook' that only she and I will know about. There are just some things you don't want Daddy to know, and embarrassed to ask Momma... so, she will leave it in a special place we pick out when she has written a question in it for me to answer, and I will replace it in a place she chooses. Nothing she asks about will be talked about verbally unless she comes to me about it again, or I feel it is a safety issue (ie: improper touching, drugs, etc).

I also bought her some books published by the American Girl people. Luckily, I found them at the used bookstore on .19/book day. I can't remember all of them, but it includes these...

The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book - answers all the questions growing girls have about their bodies—from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to bra buying, pimples to periods. It offers guidance about basic hygiene and health without addressing issues of sexuality.

Friends: Making Them & Keeping Them This interactive book helps girls learn how to make new friends and to make the most of the friendships they already have. It's filled with quizzes, crafts, thoughtful advice, and true stories of friendship shared by girls.

Smart Girl's Guide to Boys: Surviving Crushes, Staying True to Yourself, and Other Love Stuff - the number one topic of conversation for girls ages 10 and over. Here’s straight talk on what to do when everyone’s wondering "who likes who?" The book explores being friends, going out, getting dumped, being yourself, and much more. Letters from girls and advice on boys, along with quizzes and tips, help a girl get her brain back on track when her heart’s in a wreck.

Smart Girl's Guide to Manners - girls learn proper etiquette for everyday events and tricky social situations. The book is filled with great advice on everything from eating in fancy restaurants and handling troublemakers at parties to regaining composure after embarrassing accidents. Humorous illustrations, letters from other girls, and entertaining quizzes make the lessons fun to learn.

She already asked me to buy another book when she is in fifth grade ...

Smart Girl's Guide to Middle School - Middle school is all about change. This book, filled with tips and quizzes, will help girls feel more confident as they anticipate and adjust to the changes of middle school. Includes insights and information on what to expect, plus advice from other smart girls who’ve already made the grade in middle school.

The books are on her bookshelf, along with other books, for whenever she feels ready for them.

Current listing of Smart Girl's Guide

[Jamielane]

My oldest daughter and I have done exactly this. We started a notebook that we would write only to each other in when she was in 5th grade. We would leave the tablet under each others pillow. My dh knew about it but respected its privacy. I assured him it was girl stuff and if I felt there was a reason he needed to be in the loop about something I would let him know and respected that. We never really use it anymore but it made us so so so so much closer. It really gave her a chance to express herself and ask hard questions. We also have an extensive American Girls library. The caring and keeping of You is a wonderful book that both of my girls have referred to oftren.

[calimomx2]

My daughter turns 23 in a couple of months and we did the same exact thing!! I gave her a copy of The Care And Keeping Of You book too!!

We also had a secret "Mom and daughter" diary that we kept (still have it) and she would write to me every evening and I would write back. She might have asked me something really important or she might have just said she loved me. We also tucked it under each others pillow!

And how funny, I recently discovered a journal under my pillow one evening, she started a new diary for us to write in and I'm thrilled she did.

[NewLeaf]

That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. I have two boys.....but I wonder if we could do a mom/son journal. You guys are so smart.

[Michelle]

I love the idea of the notebook and will try it here too.

I bought the AG books for my girls too, and they really seem to like them, especially The Care & Keeping of You

[monkeywrangler71]

This is such a wonderful idea, probably too late for my oldest, at least for asking questions. But I think I will do it anyway when she moves back in with us, just to try to build a more positive relationship with her.

Definitely will do this with my younger two (son can have one with Daddy) when the time comes.

[joyofsix]

That would also let you mull over your answers. My kids always ask me stuff at the most inopportune times or take me aback and I'm not just sure what to say. Many times they get "Let me think about that and answer later, ok?" I'd sound much smarter in writing.

[StartingOver]

I have dd10 and have been thinking that some of these questions will be popping up soon. Great suggestion on the books...I'm writing them down and will look for them.

Great idea on the journal thing....(light bulb moment)

[ttistin]

Love this, my dd is 8 but it wont be long before the questions start I am sure. I may see if ds wants to do something like this. He has a lot of questions but not sure how to ask so this is something that might help him.

[craftypam]

I only had sons. I just want to say what a wonderful idea to keep you close during those teenage years and to finding out the truth about these important things.