Working moms- how do you do it?
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  1. #1
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    Default Working moms- how do you do it?

    I have been mainly a stay at home mom for several years- I have worked earlier this year during tax season (had some issues juggling that). Now this year, on my kids first day of school, I start a new job. Now I will only be working until November 30th (my friends ice cream shop, they begged me to work there since all the kids went back to school and I can't say no when people need help), but I am already so stressed over everything! Grocery shopping, bill paying, cleaning, laundry, making dinners, while having the kids do their activities and me having time to workout (that was my "free time" for an hour 3 days).

    How do you manage to take care of all the house things with a small window of time? Any tips are welcomed! My mom said I worry too much but I keep thinking how can I make dinner in time, how can I keep up on all the laundry, make sure the holidays are taken care of, so on. My husband should help out but he is always working (he is a workaholic, which is part of the reasoning of me being able to stay at home, that and he could never watch the kids so I could work), and my kids just don't do the jobs they can do well enough so I usually redo what they did or have them not do it... Help please! Thanks!

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    Hi Steelergal, I have a SAHH (Stay at Home Husband) ;-).

    Kidding aside, how old are your children? I think you have just sketched part of the problem, that they get away with doing their chores sloppily. Are they old enough for repercussions for not doing things properly? When I lived at home (from age 7 upwards) we had a major houseclean every Saturday morning before anyone was allowed to leave the house. 2 People for the downstairs, 2 people for the upstairs. Mum would check, run a finger over the topbookshelf, etc. and not until she OK'ed the room, were we 'off duty'. It's fun cleaning together.

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    Maybe it's time to say that for some jobs, the way the kids do them is good enough. Do my kids make their beds the way that I would make them? No, but they are made and they look good enough. If you redo the jobs the kids do, they will know they don't have to do it well the first time.

    Also, my biggest advice is to be organized and plan out when you will get certain things done. If you don't have a crockpot, get one and use that for your dinners on the days you are working. Toss a load of laundry in before you leave in the morning and switch it around when you get home.

    Working outside the home is incredibly rewarding in many ways. Just relax...everything doesn't have to be perfect at home. No one expects you to live in a museum...especially with kids.

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    McD
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    Once you get into a routine it will get easier!!

    We have a subforum dedicated to the trials and tribulations of being a work outside the home mom. It's located here: WOTHM - Frugal Village Forums

    I make a menu plan a week in advance. It's helpful for me because I know exactly what I need to pick up at the store. I know that morning if I need to thaw anything for that night's dinner. Also, it gives me a sense of calm to leave work knowing exactly what I am cooking for dinner that night. It used to stress me out terrible to come home and have no idea what we were going to have for dinner and trying to sort it all out while dealing with the kids by myself since my husband is on second shift. There are some great ideas on menu-planning in this forum: Meal planning - Frugal Village Forums as well as in our 2010 menu planning challenge thread: https://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/...challenge.html

    I do laundry swaps several times a day: First thing in the morning, right when I get home (I usually have 15 minutes between when I get home and when my baby-sitter drops the kids off), and right before I go to bed.

    I run as many errands (grocery shopping, bank, returns, etc.) as possible on my lunch break. Is that an option for you?

    I do as much of a general straighten up as I can before I go to bed, but what I don't do, hubby gets done once he comes home.

    And mostly, I try not to stress the little stuff. Are there nights that my dishes don't get done because Wesley and I are up to shenanigans? Oh yes. I look at it this way-in fifty years none of us will remember if my house was or was not spotless. But we'll remember the fun times we had.

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    If hubby doesn't help, it doesn't get done. Period. I still do the laundry, banking, grocery shopping, church meetings, school activities. If the dishes sit and hubby doesn't do them, then there they will sit.
    I do what I can when I can (like laundry at 5 a.m. and the Post Office at lunch) but I can only do so much.
    And, I still take time to do Curves 3-4 days a week and Zumba once a week. These are my 'me' times and I desperately need them.

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    I found a lot of help with the Flylady site. No, I don't follow her routines and stuff perfectly, but just the general common sense things - pack lunches the night before, do just a little bit at a time, good enough is ok it doesn't have to be perfect - helps a lot. My biggest issue is comparing myself to SAHM's sometimes. Maybe I didn't cook dinner from scratch every night this week, or decorate my son's birthday cake myself, or I have a whole pile of legos and lincoln logs underneath the side table in my living room for the last week (ok, well, since last Thursday) - but that's ok. When I work myself up about the way things "HAVE" to be, I try and just take a step back and go for "good enough."

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    i dont think about it but one day at a time
    if i were to sit down and figure out the fact we have 5 kids ( okay 2 are adult one out of college one in college but living at home and we have just one bath which = alot of shower scheduling in the AM )
    that the youngest 3 are in 2 different schools that i have to run carpools from ; that my job deals with patients and drs who often dont get i only work 4 days a week until 2pm -and i often have to work my schedule and change it at th elast minute due to pt changes in appts with drs or because a therapist will be there etc.

    that my youngest dd has dance 2 days and cheer 3 days probably games to cheer at 1-2 days once the BB season starts - and in the spring we add the school play to all that ...

    and squeezing in my paperwork for work laundry - cleaning shopping etc etc

    i would go nuts .

    the idea of listing everything i need to do in one day like some like to do would probably give me a panic attack.

    so i just go from day to day -

    sometimes i meal plan for a whole week - sometimes i just figure out the night before whats for dinner the next day .

    way i figure it no one is going to die or end up on dr phil if i dont get laundry put away - some people live out of shopping carts i can pull my clothes out of a laundry basket of clean clothes now and then .

    i declutter a little each day to prevent stuff from building up i am a bit anal lthat my living room and dining room and kitchen look nice all the time so if someone unexpectedly comes over it looks nice the family room or bedrooms get a little cluttered i dont freak out .

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    I was a single mother with 3 children under 7 and I worked full time outside the home. You just do what you have to do. Now they are older. Like other people said let the kids do chores and don't fix it. If it is really sloppy make them do it again. I don't like the way any of my kids make beds or keep their rooms as clean as I would like. Shut the door. As long as they don't care you shouldn't either. I can't tell you the last time I dusted one of my teenagers bedrooms. I keep my sunday mornings open to cleaning. I do laundry on Saturday's. My kids help me and they can do there own laundry once they get into middle school ages.

    Even little kids can clean up the dinner table,set the dinner table, pick up trash from the bathrooms, clean up toys, etc.

    For meals start using a crockpot. A working women's best friend. I use mine alot. I have 1 oval and 1 round one. I can make a whole 7 lb chicken in the oval one.

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    I agree with everything that was said here. Expectations get lowered, lists get made, things somehow get done.

    get organized and get a routine. With a little advance planning things will get easier.

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