So many problems!
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  1. #1

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    Red face So many problems!

    There is too much to talk about without making it a novel so here are my frustrations:

    1) This weekend(her graduation weekend) my sister did nothing but complain to me..even as I stood there preparing food for her graduation party ..she had the nerve to complain that I was using lettuce to put under the veggies!

    2) My uncle made a comment before leaving that I "look really pale, are you ok?"
    Hmmm thanks! That really kinda stung especially since I've been soo self consciousnce of it as it was! I try to get out and walk in the sun everyday wearing shorts and a tank top but I just don't tan!

    3) The real biggy here though is my husband
    We started bickering because of the crummy room we stayed in..and it's gotten worse from there.

    Like he tells me that I am just like my sister..(after I told him about all the mean things she was saying to me) It's really hurting me since I never try to be as mean as he thinks I do..
    So now I just genuinly FEEL like mean rotten person..I want my old chipper 'me' back!

    Right now we aren't on the best of terms
    He told me this weekend "I am not putting any money into you because you might just run off with some other guy"
    (I have been wanting to get my teeth whitened)


    4) OH and my grandma made a rather embarrasing remark about my weight..she yelled out in the middle of dinner how 'skinny' I was..and tried to imply I wasn't eating anything to do it!! I have had issues with food problems in the past and I know she knew that so it just REALLY hurt me! I've been eating very well and exercising a lot! (but not excessively a lot either!)

    I just feel sooo sad and hopeless and yucky and just terrible..

    I am not doing good in the relationship department..I have a hard time knowing what to say to people
    Like when my uncle made that comment..

    At least my relationship with my parents is going good!

  2. #2
    Registered User Michelle's Avatar
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    {{{HUGS}}} Heather. I don't know what to say about your dh without knowing more. However, as far as the other comments, hold your head high and either ignore the comments completely, or defend yourself. Like you could say to grandma, "Actually Grandma, I've been eating very well and exercising. I'm right where I should be. In fact I've never been healthier" and to your uncle, "Nope--I feel just fine thanks!"

    This probably doesn't help much, but if I told you all the relationship problems I've been having lately, you probably wouldn't feel so bad. The only people I haven't had issues lately are my dh and my friends Sara and Eileen ( )

  3. #3

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    Thanks Chelle!

    And actually that was just what I told my grandma Well in a nutshell..I paused frozen for a second..then I said "Well actually I eat a lot, and I do step aerobics everyother day"

    To my uncle I just stood like a moron stuttering something about trying to get out for a walk..he probably thought I was nuts!

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  5. #4

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    (((HUGS))) Don`t let those remarks get to your heart!

    I`ve noticed how many times our close ones, permit themselves in saying THEIR OPINION on what ever they think they should tell us. As if, they had a right to not mind their own buissness.

    Just ignore them. As for your dh, maybe he`s feeling insecure about you. I can`t say much more, but things can get tense when we are tired and have young children. We may say things we don`t mean or regret.

    Be proud of yourself...Take very special care of YOU.

    Sincerely Lucie

  6. #5
    FV Buddy aka Kellie Bob Jerseygirl's Avatar
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    Take it from where it comes then give the appropriate response-All grandmothers want you to eat more, that's what they do, so tell her the dr is pleased with your current weight. Tell your uncle that tanning is bad for you, and dh that you will keep him at least until he loses his hair. It is unfortunate but as women most of us don't get along with our sisters, its the whole competitive nature of it. A few years ago I ran into my uncles ex wife who made me miserable as a child. She had the nerve to touch my hair in front of her kids and my mother and announce "I see you have been dying your hair" I gave her my most gracious smile and said "and I see you haven't been!" I felt so much better!!

  7. #6
    Registered User MANDERS's Avatar
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    1.next time ask her if she would like you to put something else under the veggies instead say like tortilla shells,grass,toilet paper,cigarette butts.Maybe she would prefer the lettuce.-I would've told her to do it herself

    2.Tell him I'm sorry that I won't be getting skin cancer I'll try harder to get it next time.

    3.I'm with chelle on I don't know what to say to your dh I am going threw the same thing with mine on the insecurity thing.This time last year I was 63lbs heavier after having ds.so its a big change he thinks everyone is looking at me now and that I am loosing weight to get people(guys) to look at me.He also comments that I wear more fitting clothes than I did when I was fat,asked him if he would've rather me wear tank tops,short shorts(ok there not that short)when I was 204lbs.

    4.LOL how old is your baby?This ticks me off cause I think you look great!MY sil(totaly different one from the potty training issue)and I have this problem since we are sorta on the same diet and loosing weight.The rest of dh family is seriously obeise(his mom and his sister)and think that we don't eat a lot in front of them and then go pig out at home.Ha I wish I just don't want to look like them shooving 2 peices of cake in my mouth and a huge bowl of icecream.

    You sound just like me that everything everyone says stays with you and bugs you,are you and aquarius?I am and I take everything so seriously.The way I look at it is everyone is saying these things to make themselves feel better.I feel like dh whole family is a bunch of negative energy and I can't stand that.Just flat our say I am so glad you took away your valuable time to tell me what is wrong with me.Maybe these people should be looking at thereselves.

  8. #7

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    Jalclark, my dd is nearly 11 months old now ( I really should update that pic of us! She has a lot more hair and is HUGE compared to that pic!)

    I am a sagittarious, but which dates are aquarious?

    another thing that ticks me off is my dh 'wants' me to dress as slutty as he can get me to
    In fact that starts a lot of arguments when we go shopping and then he starts telling me how I just don't have good taste in clothing and that HE has better taste than me
    Boy does that ever make me...uptight..and really mad at the world!

    Oh but what does my sister do? After I let her borrow a dress for her graduation weekend..she started trying on all my clothes, she came out in an outfit and said "How can you wear these clothes? I look like a whore!"
    Grrr well I just told her that my boobs aren't as big as hers so it doesn't look so 'whore-ish' on me. but then again what she was wearing was not what I would have picked out on my own.

    I like your solution to what I should have told my sis about the veggie platter
    I wish I could come up with those comments on the spot! If you hadn't told me these today, I would have thought of something like that in another week or two...as I lay awake at night still thinking about it

    Thanks for all your responses ladies! It makes me feel better

  9. #8

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    I am so sorry that you have to put up with your familys insensitive remarks. They can be the worst to deal with.

    I am like you, my skin is very pale. To ppl who comment on it is simply say God picked the color, take it up with him. Or, If it's good enough for him why should I mess with it?

    It always confused me that up until June 1 my skin tone was just fine and suddenly over night I become pale. What is up with that one anyway. These ppl never hear of melanomia?

    Good luck, just try to ignore most of it. Life is too short to let morons control your self image. =}

  10. #9
    Registered User Megareader's Avatar
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    Your dh "doesn't want to put any money into you.."?? You're not a car, you are a person! And you deserve better than to be treated that way.

  11. #10

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    I was thinking that same thing megareader!

  12. #11
    Registered User Megareader's Avatar
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    This would be lowering yourself to his level but....the next time he makes some remark about not wanting to spend any money on you, you could smile oh-so-sweetly at him and while running your fingers through his hair say "You're right. We really need to be saving up for your hair plugs!"

  13. #12
    Registered User MANDERS's Avatar
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    LMAO How funny.My dh tells me I have no taste in clothes either.Funny when did he ever buy is own clothes.And hey if ya have the body for it then wear it.Maybe you should've told your sister she needed to loose some weight if she wanted to look good in your clothes.

  14. #13

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    Tell DH you will wear slutty clothes for himat home, but you dont' want to be taken for a ...ahem...lady of the evening when you're out! Also, ask him if he will wear some "boy toy" clothes for you the next time you go out! Maybe this will shut him up.

    My sis and I can share any clothes; she is stick thin and I am (to put it mildly) am not! It doesn't matter; we have never had the same taste in clothes. She always wore the slutty tops and yeast infection tight jeans in high school while I wore boot, jeans and tasteful shirts. I was also muuuuch thinner then!

    Your sis needs to get her act together. You were being nice enough to help out. If she doesn't like what you're doing, hand her the stuff (or throw it at her if that makes you feel better ) and tell her to do it herself. I may be jumping to conclusions here, but she sounds like a spoiled brat!

    As for your relatives, they mean well, but face it, they have the hides of rhinos if they think this won't bother you. OTOH, if you were tan and fifteen pounds heavier, they would be begging you to think of the cancer danger and that you'd have such a pretty face and if only you wold lose the fat from the baby, you'd be perfect! You can't win ((sigh)).

    It sounds like you need a weekend away for yourself with DH. I think a good night's sleep and some r and r would help you immensely! Hang in there, girl!

  15. #14

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    ooops, that should have been sis and I can't share any clothes! Geeze, my fingers are ahead of my brain again...

  16. #15

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    Speaking of yeast infection jeans...

    I am SO unhappy with my clothes and not just for the reason that he influences most of what I have..but it's just that if I get a perfect fit in the store..after I wash it it'll sag..or even start to sag after an hour of wear!

    And of course when I find something that I think will not start sagging..it shrinks even tighter

    I can't win!

    OH and another thing..my dh dresses so dorky! It makes me fume! why does he expect me to dress a certain way if he won't for me! I mean ONCE in a while he'll get it right and he'll look SO hot..but other times I'm just like OMG WHAT ARE YOU THINKING

    Well I have more to rant about him so I guess I'll keep it here...

    Tonight when we went out shopping he kept putting his hand down the back of my jeans(It was daylight btw)..and slapping my butt..he also HAS to hold my hand ALL the time or he'll get MAD. I can't say a thing or he WILL make a scene.

    ..BUT there are times when I'm flailing for HIS hand and he's out in outer space! But heavens no why should I get mad at him for it? (seriously though it's not something to get mad over!)

    Ok..so he was all mad about me getting upset that he kept putting his hand down my pants and slapping my butt..(he had the nerve to use the 'but other girls think it's ok' excuse)
    Guess what happens just a bit later..I told him "man look you opened a coke and only had a sip " (which meant that it was wasted since it got all hot)
    He got all offended and would not talk about it..even though all I wanted to finish saying was suggesting to bring some bottled water next time to save the cokes!

    He just gets SO upset over little things...OH and then he starts telling me how HE thinks I DO OR DO NOT FEEL grr that pisses me off

    so tonight he said if i popped his back (not the bones but tiny pimples all over his skin) that he would take me to albertsons ...well 3 hours later of him playing on the computer fixing 'something' he still hadn't taken me..and now he is at work and I am all alone

    I feel like he's sooo different now from the guy I met and fell in love with..the guy I met was such a gentleman..such a handy man..such a nice guy..gosh I'm just so sad!

    To top it all off I think he smells funny...not a pleasant type of funny either

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