Joint Finances for Couples

[Cricket]

Whether you are married or in a long-term relationship, there may come a time when you start to think about merging your finances. Joint finances can be a benefit for couples who share expenses or who are raising children together, but it is not always the right choice. Keep reading to learn about the pros and cons of joint finances for couples. The Pros and Cons of Joint Finances for Couples

Do you feel a couple's finances should be joint?

Why? Why not?

[KathyB]

My husband and I have always had a joint account. For one, most of our expenses are joint things. Mortgage, groceries, cell phone bills - all of those are expenses we have together. I still have spending money for personal things, it just comes out of the joint account. So it is partly a practical thing.

But it is also an emotional thing for me. It is about trust. I would not marry someone if I did not trust him with my finances. I would not marry someone if I did not trust them with every aspect of my life.

[MsMarieH]

Although I think it's up to the couple and I have seen some that keep everything separate, I don't work that way.

It's joint in our marriage and has been from day one. I manage most of the finances.

Like Kathy, if I didn't trust my partner or didn't want to merge our financial records (like if they had a ton of debt), I wouldn't marry them.

It's a tricky one. I am in a long term relationship but we don't have any joint finances at the moment.
I imagine if we were to have a mortgage then a joint account would be useful for rent, bills etc which would be good, but for a joint account for everything I think I would feel bad about spending someone elses money and annoyed if someone spent mine.
What if there's a huge difference in income between a couple? I would hope we'd still want to share but it might not be as easy as that.
Perhaps I'm a bit cynical but I wouldn't want to share everything because break ups do happen and things can get ugly - I think my partner and I are kind and would be amicable if anything happened but I know people do get stung. My mum's ex tried to take half of her house deposit after their break up even though he contributed nothing.
Sorry if I'm being negative!

[KathyB]

My husband and I both work full time, but he earns almost twice as much as me. We still share the income. I think of it as our money rather than his money or my money.

Most of our expenses are joint expenses. A good portion of the hobbies and entertainment budget are shared since we share many hobbies. Generally the only things I get are that are just mine are clothing, craft supplies, art supplies and maybe a third of my books. My husband and I have similar tastes in reading, so a good chunk of the books I read are ones he has bought.

And I do not spend that much on clothing since I like shopping at thrift stores, making and modifying my own material, etc. My husband actually spends more on his clothing. To be fair, he has to dress up more for work than me because he is in a higher level position.

[Russ]

If one of the parties is financially irresponsible, they should be separated. That one person could ruin everything.

[earlybird]

We have always done joint. It just goes in one pot and we have never had a problem. We would never spend or consider spending alot without talking to the other person. It works for us and I take care of all the bookwork and bill paying.

[mndtrp]

We joined finances shortly after getting married. Even though I make more than my wife, I never had any of the issues of inequality that some people have. We have budgets set up, which include freely spent money, so we haven't had hardly any spending issues in the almost-decade we've been married.

[MsMarieH]

As part of the pre-cana counseling that I attended (alone, LOL - but that's a story for another time), the priest talked about setting an agreed upon dollar amount for what could be spent without consulting the other partner. Hubby and I agreed on $200 at that time. Over time the amount seems to have risen, but in general, we still discuss any major purchases. It has worked for us.

Going back to the financially irresponsible comment - again, for me, if someone were financially irresponsible, I wouldn't be considering them as a life partner.

[Lucille44]

I think finances should be kept separate. One of the 3 major reasons couples fight is money, and while state law governs financial liabilities during marriage, I think there is some security in having control of whatever is left after the liabilities are paid.

[Stillfrugal]

married joint and couples separate
We have for 32 yrs had it joint. I do the bills,allocations,bring up future events,etc. He makes it. WE like it this way. He isnt a detail person.I am and he trusts me to get the best price for a quality item. When we took Dave Ramsey courses I tried the family meeting thing and he didnt want to deal. He just says your better at it. Every month before I make the budget I say anything coming up your going to need? and at the end I give him the actual exp. sheet. IF we spent more than about $100. on anything we talk to the other. When people fight about money they are fighting w/ short sightedness and immaturity. Marriage is a team experience like 2 Oxen pulling the same cart. Sometimes the ground is rough. You have to have the same common goal to move forward. It takes time to learn to work together. We used to pull our own way and then you lose ground.