Inspiration/Support

**ravenmaniac** · 01-27-2010, 08:19 PM

I have posted on other member's threads a bit about my finances. I figured I would try to start a thread where anyone could post their financial concerns. We could support each other too.

My husband just called our cable company and lowered our bill. Not as much as I would have lowered it but my husband needs to take responsibility for finances. So I have turned everything over to him and we look at them together.

He is also responsible for our loan modification. So am I but he is making the calls and gathering the paperwork.

Anyone else have a husband who was or is like a child and needs or needed instant gratification, just could not wait and save the money? Had to have it NOW?

**lisaflex** · 01-27-2010, 08:26 PM

yep. he thinks it "just happens" has no idea what i go thru to get stuff lowered. the one thing he is good at is picking a gas provider before winter.....

says "WOW" the electric bill is ALOT lower....hhhmmmm. wonder who did all the research to lower it????

**NikoSan999** · 01-27-2010, 08:43 PM

Oh God, I don't even want to get started. Maybe some time...I'd never shut up.
Suffice to say I know the feeling..

**Palooka** · 01-27-2010, 10:26 PM

No not my dh! The one that charged the hot tub and charged the materials for a free swimming pool, that later cost us more in materials for the free pool. We sold the hot tub and gave the pool away to a friend.

Neither was used much and then complains that he wishes he still had the hot tub NOW for his back. facepalm.

Okay love my dh, just gets a wee bit frustrating sometimes. Don't know what I would do without him though.

**Greebo** · 01-27-2010, 10:52 PM

Regarding your loan modification...

...please tell me you aren't planning to stop paying your mortgage in order to "get their attention"? Especially if you can make the payments?

Reason I ask - the other day on TMMO a lady posted and you could read the pain in her spirit. They didn't make a single payment in 2009. They took the advice of a 3rd party who told them to get their mortgage modified they needed to default, so the bank would work with them.

They didn't save the payments they didn't make - they used them to pay off credit cards. At the time they started, the mortgage represented 23% of their take home. Today it's 36%. During mortgage modification requests, they provided pay stubs, etc.

She posted on TMMO because she'd been served with a foreclosure notice that day.

Modifications aren't going to happen because people just want one. If you don't *NEED* it, don't try to game them.

Not saying YOU are - just .. that message needs to be out there.

**Siebrie** · 01-28-2010, 06:26 AM

Yeah, we bought a television, a car and recently a piece of land. Within a week of spending these amounts my dh will say he regrets the purchase. No matter what I tell him beforehand, he will persuade me that it is the best thing to do, he cannot live without it, etc. The good thing: I will not let myself be persuaded until I have done the research and then we agree on a brand, etc. Then when afterwards he starts whining, I will persuade him that it was money well-spent ;-), and that he'd better be happy with it, because we will not upgrade/change/whatever until it's completely unreparable/dead. I will not be persuaded on that point!

**Russ** · 01-28-2010, 08:17 AM

Originally Posted by Palooka

Neither was used much and then complains that he wishes he still had the hot tub NOW for his back. facepalm.

Here ya go Palooka

**mama2James** · 01-28-2010, 11:24 AM

My hubby is overall pretty reasonable and mature when it comes to financial stuff, but he does have a tendency to let his emotions get the better of him when he "just wants something". Occasionally, he has said things like "debt is just a part of life, everyone has it." Over the past 2-3 yrs we have made huge changes in how we handle our money, stopped using credit cards, saving more etc. He is seeing how much more sense it makes and is quite willing to go along with my ideas. The reality is though, that I'm the one steering the boat. If I were to fall back into old ways, start putting things on credit, or itching for a new car etc... I bet he'd follow right along

**miss_thrifty** · 01-28-2010, 01:37 PM

My hubby is pretty good . The bills get paid on time or earlier.
But the only thing I find is that the more he makes the more he thinks he should be spending. I told him I know u work hard- u deserve some but leave some there for another day plzzz lol

**frugalfranny** · 01-28-2010, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by ravenmaniac

Anyone else have a husband who was or is like a child and needs or needed instant gratification, just could not wait and save the money? Had to have it NOW?

No, not exactly. But this post reminded me of what a gf went through when her dh just wasn't getting it. She dumped EVERYTHING in his lap - all bills, everything! Well, it FINALLY worked, but b/4 it did her power had been cut off - her phone had been disconnected - all because he 'forgot' to pay the bill. (they had plenty of $ to pay the bill!) The patience my gf showed going through this should have won her an oscar!! But he got it!

**suebeehoney** · 01-31-2010, 01:29 PM

Wow, can I identify with this one.

My ex-DH and I were HORRIBLY matched when it came to finances. I would try to save and be frugal, but then he would go out and buy something totally unnecessary, so in a fit of resentment, I would do the same - which would cause a fight. I've learned a LOT about myself and about him since we split up, and I see where the problems were. I take responsibility and ownership of my own financial issues and am working hard to correct them. He has moved on and remarried to someone who takes total control of the finances, so he doesn't have the ability to buy with abandon, without her consent.

....and this is why I remain single to this day. I refuse to get involved with anyone else until I get my own financial house completely in order - which may take years.

**mauimagic** · 01-31-2010, 02:40 PM

DH used to have those tendencies, but since he's turned 60 he's making progress!!

**Shelli_wnj** · 01-31-2010, 05:15 PM

Yes, yes and yes! Mine is the one who says "we deserve this, we work so hard for nothing." Do you ever wonder why we have nothing??? he's waking up though. I just keep on doing my frugal things, and after a while they become second nature to him. My big problem was recently when his hours were cut, and he didn't want to cancel anything -cable, netflix, cell phones. We have to have it, right?