Trying to cope...
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  1. #1
    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    Default Trying to cope...

    My temporary forebearance on my student loan was approved but unfortunately, I have been locked out of my apartment since Wed. I should have a money order coming today so I can pay what I owe. I may have to look for another place to live. I received no warning of the lockout, the management office just told my mom they were starting the eviction process on Monday. I have not had access to any of my things for 3 days now. I don't know if I can afford to move but I may have to. I've been sleeping on the floor at my mom's place for two nights now. I just don't know what to do. I've been trying so hard to balance everything.

  2. #2
    Registered User CookieLee's Avatar
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    Sorry that happened to you. I've never been more depressed than when one thing after another makes me feel so poor. It sucks.

    Locking you out of your apartment is a landlord's last ditch effort to get you to pay up. What the landlord doesn't realize is they also just set you free. Once you're locked out, saving up money to pay back rent dropped in priority. Now your priority is to save up money to secure another - cheaper - place. To make your budget work, you'll want to find a place that cost 1/4 of your take home pay. That means if all you can afford is to rent a room, that is what you'll do. Since now you don't have many items that need to be stored, renting a small bedroom in a stranger's house won't be an issue.

    Many years ago I was talking to an older gentleman at a veteran's event. He was telling me about his life and I was impressed by the businesses he started. I mentioned that I often dreamed of doing the same and he encouraged me to take the risk. I replied that I couldn't. I had kids to support, a house with a mortgage, a car payment, and bills to pay. His response was at first insulting but also shocking. He said what I had wasn't worth very much so I could risk to lose it all. I wanted to protest. After all, I had accomplished a lot in my career and it was a big deal for us to finally qualify for that starter house. But in reality, he was right. Compared to the dream house I wanted and the success I wanted to achieve in business, what I had at that moment was nothing in comparison.

    I encourage you to take the same attitude. You really don't have much to lose. You can afford to take risks. In another post you wrote that you feared leaving your file clerk job because you might lose your 401k. Well, one rarely loses the money they contribute in a 401k. If you leave the company the money will be frozen in that account until you can transfer it or they'll encourage you to transfer it into an IRA. You might lose the vesting money from your company but as you pointed out the account isn't even to $2000 yet so you wouldn't be losing much. As soon as you get a better paying job - maybe an increase of just $1/hr - and you more than make up for that $401k loss. Another point is that file clerk is a starter job. No one should stay in a starter job for four years. You should have made the jump to a better job a long time ago. One resume got lost in the electronic maze of applications? You need to be submitting hundreds of applications and resumes! HUNDREDS!

    And in terms of your financial problems, there is only two ways to solve them. You need to either reduce your expenses (done! you no longer owe rent) or you need to increase your income. I strongly recommend you increase your income by taking on a second job. You might want to put out the word that you're willing to take on house sitting / pet sitting jobs since it is summer and your only other alternative is to surf on your mom's couch. But don't stop there. If you can get any other part time job, take it! You never know where that part time job might lead.

    Good luck. Let us know how you're doing.

  3. #3
    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    Well I learned that what they did is actually illegal because they didn't serve a notice beforehand. Unfortunately, dealing with this problem leads to court costs and I need to file a complaint soon. If I don't do it within five business days, the court won't consider it. I tried doing it on my own but I don't have the processing fee. There are other apartments nearby but they are slightly more expensive. Certainly, there are cheaper areas but they are in worse sections of town and I would have to do more commuting to work on the bus. The transit system is not the greatest in the world which is why I've been so hesitant to find another job. I tried checking on other jobs within my company but I didn't think I could do any of them. One I almost qualified for but I didn't have the correct software experience.

    As for reducing my expenses, that would be great if I could get out from under the loans and credit. Certainly I could try selling things I've got cluttered in the apartment (I may need to when I decide to leave) but I'm not going to get much for them because I don't have anything of value. I definitely need my own place because I can buy my own groceries and I have my own space. I also wouldn't have to sleep on the floor any more. The dog would also have his own space too and I think he's missing that and he's missing his food. He won't eat what my mom has.

    House sitting and pet setting would be great. If I had a car, that is. I tried looking at pet sitting as a way to earn extra money but all the locations were about eight miles away in housing developments (oh excuse me, I think they're housing communities) that would be impossible to get to without a car.
    --No, this is just another typical event for me in my life. My life is a comedy of errors.

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    Registered User ilovechocolate's Avatar
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    You probably need to give up the idea of your own place for now. In your financial situation, it's a luxury. Offer to pay your mom a small amount for room and board. Then, spend your time trying to get a job, not necessarily one that utilizes your degree. You must have a job----a dream job, or even a job you like, can wait. Right now your job is to get a job. That involves a lot of researching, footwork, sending out resume after resume after resume.

    As to getting your stuff back: is there a Legal Aid Society close by? Or you could contact your state Bar Association and see if it can recommend a legal organization or attorneys who do pro bono work or who charge on a sliding pay scale.

    You are obviously educated and articulate and intelligent, but your mindset is one of depression and failure. As someone who has been diagnosed with depression, I know what I'm talking about. I urge you to get counseling and possible medication. Most communities have some mental health services that are offered on a sliding pay scale; the local United Way may have a list. Some churches offer counseling. You may think you can't afford it, but it is a valuable step toward a better life.

    Many responses to posts here at Frugal Village may seem crass, cruel, unfeeling, and harsh, but those are the folks who have been through some really bad situations and have, through much hard work and usually some deprivation, have come through and now are on the right financial track. Any responses are to help you, not to hurt your feelings or belittle you.

    Those who are responding to you care about you and want things to be better for you.

  6. #5
    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    Technically, I'm not sure I can stay with my mom because that puts too many people in the apartment. I found another complex nearby that looks like it could work even though it's a little more expensive. I will call the legal aid office on Monday and my debt counselor. No matter what, I have to pay my back rent. If I can continue to live where I am, fine. If not then I need an alternative.
    I had something I thought I'd like to do once but I quit. I guess I just have no faith in myself. It just seems that no matter what I do, it's always wrong. It's hard to contest that when you review your life and find no bright spots.

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    Unfortunately, dealing with this problem leads to court costs and I need to file a complaint soon. If I don't do it within five business days, the court won't consider it. I tried doing it on my own but I don't have the processing fee. T
    Why go to court? You already know that you are in the wrong by not paying your rent - the Court can't waive what you owe, they can just tell you that you "win" on a technicality. Ie, you can "be right" but you still owe the money. You need to pick your battles, not just fight all things.

    I tried checking on other jobs within my company but I didn't think I could do any of them. One I almost qualified for but I didn't have the correct software experience.
    You are probably underestimating your ability - let the bosses decide, if they select you for the job, they must think that you're capable. And remember, the bosses need to select the best person from available applicants, not from all the perfect people in the world.

  8. #7
    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    Again, apologies for being stupid. The thing is, I should have been notified BEFORE I was locked out irregardless of being behind in rent. According to the law, they can't do that.
    I called in to work for Monday so I can visit the legal aid center and see what can be done. I just hope I don't have any other expenses because my entire right side has been becoming more painful--especially the chest.

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    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    I am going down today to talk to legal services and see if they can do anything. I have a chance to look at a different apartment on Saturday, providing that I don't need to work that day. It would be a studio but that would be fine since it's just me and the dog. It's only a few streets down from where I'm living now so my dog could still come and visit on weekends. The place isn't available until the tenth of next month and I don't know where I could stay until then. I'm hoping the legal services people will be able to do something. I do know that I will never get behind in my rent payments again. They're impossible to get caught up.

  10. #9
    Registered User NikoSan999's Avatar
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    You positively can't stay at your mothers for a month or two? Share expenses? Help her clean or mow? You mentioned eating. If you staying there you could buy some cheap groceries. A month or two isn't a lifetime.
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    Again, apologies for being stupid. The thing is, I should have been notified BEFORE I was locked out irregardless of being behind in rent. According to the law, they can't do that.
    I called in to work for Monday so I can visit the legal aid center and see what can be done.
    Again - you are wasting time and energy fighting the wrong battles. You called in to work, turned down wages, risked getting fired, so that you can ask Legal Aid to tell your landlord that he was wrong. The fact is, if you don't pay your rent, the landlord cannot allow you to live there. So why do you want to spend your time & money harassing him?

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    I assume going to legal aid is for the purpose of getting your things back? That to me makes sense, how are you supposed to furnish a new place or have access to your work clothes? In NYS we have tenants associations that help people in your situation, maybe you have those, as well. I normally would not say this to a complete stranger but I agree that you sound depressed. Do you have access to get help with this? It's so hard to get out of a situation like you are in, add in depression and it's 10x harder. Can you get any social services, like Section 8 housing, SNAP, etc?

  13. #12
    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    Going down to legal aid actually helped. I worked with a mediator and I am able to live in my apartment so long as I get the back rent paid. I can also make payments in advance which will help me not make the same mistake again. I'm just going to have to try and spend $50 for two weeks worth of groceries instead of $100.
    However in the future, I will try to be more of a reader here so that I don't frustrate everyone with my obvious stupidity and naivite in everything I type.

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    you didn't sound stupid to me! Aren't we all here to help each other?

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    Registered User icenectar's Avatar
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    I suppose but it's difficult to sense people's intended tones on a computer. I just don't want to cause unnecessary trouble.

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    I'm new here, had a sudden economic downturn, I know I'm asking for advice on things probably already answered on here. But so far everyone has helped. To me, your thread just sounded like pure crisis and I would think posters are reacting to that and trying to figure out how to get you out of the hole. I wouldn't worry about it, keep asking questions, that's how we learn, right?

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