started credit counseling

[patra]

Hi folks,

Ive written a couple other places on FV. I am newly back here. I've assessed my debt. My personal debt I owe alone is 16000. I paid off my car recently. My BF and I are spenders. I have bipolar schizo affective and now i have been treated by a doctor who has resolved this. Maybe i never was to begin with, maybe it was from smoking pot as a teen, but he is taking me off my medicine and I am so clear now. My compulsive behaviors have stopped. But the fact remains that I have to clean up the financial mess from years of self sabotage from the "mental illness". I have placed so much emphasis over my life and identified as a mentally ill person before all else. Now, its gone....I'm a new person. A different person. My BF and I talked about getting married. However he is a recovering alcoholic and spends. A lot. I want to be with him however I'm in enough financial trouble without taking on his load financially by marrying him, and I have to look at this. I have to move forward with clear vision. He has 34 years sober from drugs and alcohol, however he substitutes with smoking and spending. I do not wish to take his inventory. I have 8 and 1/2 years sober myself. I've tried other programs. My sponsor feels I can do with AA as my program because it is the hub of the 12 steps wheel. I am in agreement. I am currently in a credit counseling program. I wish to be completely transparent with them, my family, and my BF and hope he will do the same.....
patty

[Contrary Housewife]

Welcome back Patra. I remember you and your beautiful icon. It's great that you have your head clear and are thinking through the steps to get your life in order. I hope your boyfriend can get on track with you.

[Anna43]

It sounds like you are making good progress in getting your life where you want it. I think you are wise not to marry someone spends irresponsibly. My grandson and I just had a conversation about relationships and finances. He recently ended a relationship with a gal who was a crazy spender. Its better to be on your own and lonely rather than in a negative relationship which is often difficult to manage. We often stay in negative situations to avoid being alone. Hopefully, you will be able to work through the problems with your BF.