Is your significant other on the same level of frugality as you?
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    Default Is your significant other on the same level of frugality as you?

    Pretty straight forward. How would you compare your significant others level of frugality to yours and how does it affect your relationship? Do you believe it's important to have someone as dedicated as you or can you work around your differences?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stout View Post
    Pretty straight forward. How would you compare your significant others level of frugality to yours and how does it affect your relationship? Do you believe it's important to have someone as dedicated as you or can you work around your differences?
    My hubby is certainly on the same page - we both grew up in frugal environments...almost eerily similar :-) The main difference is that I have no trouble throwing stuff out and he likes to keep everything!!!! It was quite the battle when we moved to a smaller home - best thing we ever did - he had no choice but to get rid of stuff and somehow this exercise has helped a lot.

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    Registered User The Muse's Avatar
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    My husband and I have similar approaches to finances and now that we have shared goals and dreams, we're in complete alignment on all money matters, including where and when to splurge.

    I think having similar financial outlooks are very important to the longterm success of a relationship. I wouldn't be very happy if I felt I was working towards something and was constantly being undermined by my husband's spending.

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    Super Moderator josantoro's Avatar
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    at times he has been much more frugal than me, but has relaxed a bit in later years. Overall I guess he is the more frugal of us two. We do pretty good together.

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    Registered User Winkie's Avatar
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    My husband has never spent money impulsively, and can be a bit of a tightwad, but he did not pay much attention to prices on basic things until we got together. Now he has picked up on getting the things we need at rock bottom prices. Example: his old way was spend $50.00 on a shirt & wear it for 10 years. My way is get that $50.00 shirt for $12.50 & rotate clothes more frequently. Same with HBAs. He would wait until he was out of deodorant & go pay $4.00 for one. I buy 4 at a time when I can get them for $1.00 each & never run out.
    He has taught me that spending money when needed actually saves in the long run, such as keeping our home and vehicles maintained properly. I cringe when he spends $150.00 to have his tractor serviced, but it is necessary to keep that $15,000 piece of equipment at top performance. I think he should do it himself, but he does not have the skills, equipment, or desire to do it himself, so the money is well spent.
    Neither of us are big on eating out, but when we do have to eat away from home, he would rather go ultra cheap, while I would be willing to pay more for better food & a fun dining experience.
    So we compliment each other. I keep our daily expenses low. He keeps me from splurging on fancy dinners. We both love being debt free & seeing our savings grow. At my lead, we are both learning the finer points of credit card perks & have had a number of free hotel rooms & are looking forward to our first (almost) free air line tickets.
    Yes, I do think it is very important to have the same goals & general outlook on how money is spent.

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    Registered User SallyC's Avatar
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    I would say that my husband and I are very much in sync as far as frugality goes. He's a bit more of a free spirit and I'm definitely the numbers girl. These differences are really helpful when I need encouragement to just have some fun with our money now and again.

    Having said that, however, our [I]active frugality[/I ]is lived out in different ways. He repairs just about everything. There aren't many home repair and maintenance jobs that he won't tackle including window replacement, plumbing, carpeting, and the list goes on. He does all the car maintenance: oil changes, front brakes and the like. He'll crawl through the junk yard for used parts to do repairs.

    My active frugality is more of a make-it-myself type. Any food I like I'll try to replicate at home. I enjoy making soap, skin care items and laundry detergent. I used to make my daughter's clothing when she was very small, but the days of inexpensive, small cuts of fabric are over.

    The biggest advantage my husband and I have is that he is willing to try the crazy schemes that I come up with. When I wanted to stop all of our various savings goals and focus all our intensity on one goal at a time, even though he was unsure, he gave it a try. As we reached our goals in various areas, he trusted me more and more to the point where we've established an emergency fund, a college fund for our daughter, paid for one car in cash and are currently saving up for another and paid off our house.

    I think it's important to be pretty much "on the same page" frugality-wise, but to live it out in the way that suits the individual's skills and interests the best.

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    Dh is not the initiater but goes w/ me on things now. We fought it out for years. He wasnt brought up frugal but instead very self indulgent.
    After 30 years we have a rhythm.
    -We shop at S.A. for clothes mostly
    -we garage sale
    -we discuss major purchases
    -he is good at making it/I handle it
    -we preplan all purchases possible
    -we run a zero dollar budget that is anticipatory based on budgets tracked since 2009. (ex. car ins-April and Oct./Garbage service every 3 mo.)
    -I make the budets because I am the planner,show him and amend according to his input.

    The D.R. course helped bridge us. It is very imp. to have someone willing to cooperate but 1 person will be "the nerd" and 1 person "the free spirit" per Dave Ramsey.

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    Similar, but not as frugal as I am. She has the same end goals, but loses sight of some things in the near term.

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    Moderator Ceashels's Avatar
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    Greebo wasn't, very impulsive and loved everything new.
    Ceashels is, can talk myself out of just about anything.

    After introducing him to the DR plan, we are now on the same page. He doesn't buy as many toys anymore. and I am a bit freer with my wants and blow money, though I save the majority of it. We discuss large purchases (usually over $50), and we have common goals to work toward. We make a better team when we are on the same page.

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    Moderator nuisance26's Avatar
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    ~My hubby is a stuff=success kind of person. Luckily he is more of a follower/team player than a leader so it only took 5 or so years of marriage to get him fully on board with my plans and my way of doing things. He's still a stuff=success person so we still seem to speak a different language whenever financial issues need to be discussed but he almost always defers to my judgement in the end.

    It's a love/hate thing for me with how our money is managed. I get to control just about everything but the downside is that I am responsible for the control of just about everything. It can be overwhelming to not have another adult as fully invested and understanding the plan as I am/do. But complete control by one person, IMO, is much better than shared control if one or both of the parties isn't decisive or doesn't have a clear direction they want to go in. I'd be willing to compromise(and I have compromised in many areas on DH's requests)when my partner has a clear vision in an area that differs from mine. We try to give and take on the stuff we both feel strongly about. That doesn't happen very often though.~

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    Registered User khaski's Avatar
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    Initially, no. Hubby came from a 'want it, buy it, cry about the consequences later' home that never really caught on to how they were holding themselves back. I came from a home that was pretty well-off when I was younger but then due to my parents' separation and father's lay-offs that changed dramatically. My parents were rather frugal in some ways, very wasteful in others (as I suppose we all are, on some level.)

    Over the years, hubby has come around to my ways of frugality now that he's had time to see the benefits. One of his latest gripes- the local coffee chain (Dunks, for you fellow northeasterners). While he rarely stops there, and I might once or twice a year, the prices of things have floored him lately. I want to say he reports that a bagel and cream cheese is $3-4, which blew his mind! He'll still stop every few months still for a treat, but only if he has a coupon for a .99 item. Meanwhile we have friends that spend $3-4 on a coffee and snack there once or twice a day who don't see it as a big deal yet struggle to pay regular bills.

    Most of my frugality is self-taught, having struggled with becoming a mother early on. Hubby (my second one, so he wasn't around when my first was very young and I struggled) is a bit more lax than I on the eating out end, but he's gotten much better at realizing that 'only' $20 to grab a pizza and such is still $20. He has come to realize that scrimping here and there and being very intentional about spending our money means we have the luxury of only being annoyed when a 'big' bill like an unexpected car repair comes up. He'd rather skip the daily Dunks and write a check for that $1k repair than get the daily coffee and get anxious and stressed when murphy visits.

    Still working to get him, and the kids, on board with a meatless meal each week, usually something involving beans in the crockpot. He's not so onboard with that, though he's being a sport about it!

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    Registered User Brat's Avatar
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    Mine wasn't at all when we got together.. He is coming around now more and more.. I have control most of the time..

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    I was raised with the spender Dad who brought home a car (borrowed overnight from his friend at car dealer) and yelled 'surprise' when my Mother returned home from her second job after 13 hours at work...Mother was always able to deal with it due to 2 jobs...Lights never off, food always on table but Dad was always first satisfied on everything else. Whining was not worth it due to verbal abuse so I could just age out of there at 18...

    I'm really skittish adult about relationships after prosperity in 20s, ruined by health problem in 30s but landing on disability, then underemployed for 10 years. I have trouble committing...There can be a spender and other is the slave to it. I just cannot commit too easily with the 'just ditch her' male society and no place else to go, plus not an easy time of things myself any longer. It's just easier alone and keep men as friendlies....
    Last edited by miss_cas; 10-26-2014 at 03:24 AM.

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    Mine used to just want to spend without thinking of the future. Over the years, he has improved tremendously and now we are pretty close to the same level. He is actively doing everything he can to save a dime now.

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