Need Advice - Page 2
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 35

Thread: Need Advice

  1. #16
    Registered User TigerGirl1226's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    1,342
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by checks View Post
    It's very odd. I could see if he bought a life insurance policy, himself, and named his granddaughter as beneficiary..... although I believe you have to be 18 yrs. old to be a beneficiary. At least in PA.

    Seems like a waste of money. He'll most likely be gone before his granddaughter and then it's void. I am assuming the best, too, that he loves her and would not have evil intentions towards her..??

    So, do you think that he understands what the policy is about? Many times insurance agents will take advantage of the elderly and sell them something if they're willing to pay. I would hear his side of the issue before jumping to conclusions. Hubby should have a nice talk with his dad, IMO. Just doesn't sound right.
    I'm pretty sure he knows the intention of the policy. He is still very active and runs a company so I highly doubt he misunderstood the policy.

    I agree DH should talk to his dad, but he wants us to do it together. I think that if my mom does something wackadoodle, I should handle it, if it's his parents he should, but that is just because I find them very hard to deal with.

    Thanks for your input.

  2. #17
    Registered User Michelle68's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas, United States
    Age
    52
    Posts
    2,618
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    25

    Default

    That is really odd and , I agree, a bit creepy. I second (or is it, third?) the idea of getting your DD's SS# changed and calling the insurance company with a copy of the Louisiana law for reference. Good luck.

  3. #18
    Registered User Nishu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Monterey, CA
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,375
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    34

    Default

    Those life insurance policies for kids are stupid but not everyone knows that. They advertise them as being an investment for the child's future. I guess you've already written off the theory of him just being a dope and buying stupid crap with the best of intentions- but people do that occasionally.

    You know the situation better than I do though.

  4. Remove Advertisements
    FrugalVillage.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #19
    Registered User my4littlebuffaloes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    OH
    Posts
    1,739
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    I think I would make sure to never leave your dd alone with your FIL. You or your dh must always be present. Scary!

  6. #20
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    142
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    My grandma took out policies on my sister and I when we were little. She did it for two reasons I guess, the first because her insurance agent told her it was a good idea. It was one of the policies where you can cash it in after so long and she thought it would give us money later on if needed. And second encase anything ever happened, car accident, etc she wanted to ensure that we would be able to have a funeral and be buried. If it was an accident my parents could have been killed too and that would have left her with a very large funeral bill without the insurance.

    My grandma was really big on all kinds of insurance though. As soon as I had my kids she would add them all to her insurance policy. Her thought there was again to make sure if some horrific incident happened they could be buried and not put anyone into debt over it. However I never gave her any ss#'s but I did have to sign a paper with my first child but don't recall signing one after that.

  7. #21
    Registered User Milly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    141
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    I took out Gerber life insurance policies on both my grand-daughters as soon as they were old enough for me to do so, but I certainly saw to it that the parents were the beneficiaries, not me!

    The whole point was to make it possible for DD and DSIL to not be socked by funeral costs should the unthinkable happen. They would be destroyed emotionally. No point in them being destroyed financially. too.

    The policies can be cashed in by the children when they reach their majority, so it's a little cash in their pockets at that point.

    I'm hoping your FIL meant this in a nice way (as I did) and felt rejected and got snippy because of your reaction.

    But then, you know him and I don't.

  8. #22

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    29
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    I would like to ask you if #1 do you have a life ins on your child? If anything would happen, do you have the funds to take care of funeral and or care that would take up this policy??? I would be jumping for joy,as they care for said child!!! and I would have no worry if they ever come down with a life threating dagnosis that I was unprepared for, so I could keep my house and income.

  9. #23
    Registered User TigerGirl1226's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    1,342
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    Well, here's what went down tonight. DH called FIL to discuss something else and while on the phone told him about the info we had found. DH told him that he was concerned that if the policy didn't have our approval that it would be ruled invalid should be ever need to use it (I hate to even think about it). FIL flipped his lid. He said that he had gotten the policy so she could cash it out eventually and not have to pay for college. DH told him that there were better ways to do it than a life insurance policy and that $25,000 wouldn't cover her college if that is what he is concerned with. FIL said that if we were gonna ask so many questions he would just cancel it, like he was threatening. DH told him to just do that and in the future if he wants to do something like this to let us know. I'm sure his intentions were partly good, but he can be very controlling and we prefer he not have control over things like this.

  10. #24
    Registered User madhen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    17,692
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    428
    Rep Power
    97

    Default

    My mother started a savings account for her grandchild (my sister's) without telling his parents about it. She was worried about their inability to control their money and that they might try to "borrow" from it. I don't know if she still has it or not, but it was basically just a savings account that he could draw out of once he reaches 21 yo (?) and that she has control of until then. Her money to begin with, so different situation.

    Re-reading the original post, I guess it is a WEE bit less creepy in that your FIL gave them your address, or his employer would not have known where to send the copy of the policy. Maybe it was just a misguided attempt to do something nice for your child. Not appropriate, but maybe not mean-spirited.
    Last edited by madhen; 02-19-2009 at 12:40 AM.
    DH aka Mad Hen
    (http://mad-hen-creations.blogspot.com/)

    Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want. Anna Lappe

  11. #25
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Baltimore, Maryland
    Age
    51
    Posts
    8,566
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    83

    Default

    Even if he meant well, it's absolutely inappropriate for a grand parent to do something like this without the knowledge of the parent.

    I smell boundary issues, at the very least.

  12. #26
    Registered User TigerGirl1226's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    1,342
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by madhen View Post
    Re-reading the original post, I guess it is a WEE bit less creepy in that your FIL gave them your address, or his employer would not have known where to send the copy of the policy. Maybe it was just a misguided attempt to do something nice for your child. Not appropriate, but maybe not mean-spirited.
    To clarify, he sent the envie himself from work.

  13. #27
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    633
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    In light of everything you hear in the news these days it just sounds creepy to me. My kids are MY kids and I like to know what's going on with everything that has to do with them.

    If my parents or inlaws had taken out the Gerber plan on my kids and listed dh or me to get the money, that's one thing. That's helpful to us if something (God forbid) should ever happen to one of our kids. But for him to put himself on the policy, I just don't know. It just seems like a potential money maker for him. Whose to say that if something happened to her he would give the money to you for funeral expenses? Especially the way you seem to feel about him and the way he wants to control things.

    When my first husband passed away I was shocked to learn that his mother had two life insurance policies out on him and his sister had one! He didn't live with them, didn't provide for their household, etc. That creeped me out but heck his mom was a total nut anyway!

    I would give him a day or two to cancel and then call the insurance company and explain the situation and ask if the policy had been cancelled. If not, explain the law to them and let them know that you do NOT want this policy on your dd and that you will take whatever legal steps are necessary to have it cancelled.

    If FIL wants to help out dd then have him set up a savings account for her and contribute to it on a regular basis or something like that. HUGS!

  14. #28
    Registered User heartofmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    933
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    20

    Default

    Pure and simple the man overstepped his bounds as a grandparent. If he wanted to do something to help his grandchild he should have discussed it with the parents, gotten their permission AND put the parents names down as the beneficiary so that if God forbid something were to happen they would have the money to take care of their child. Big red flags come out when he puts his own name down as beneficiary. I'd never ever leave my child alone with him after that.

  15. #29

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,401
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    I find his actions disturbing at best.

  16. #30
    Registered User gardening momma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    138
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TigerGirl1226 View Post
    I'm sure his intentions were partly good, but he can be very controlling and we prefer he not have control over things like this.
    I know where you're coming from. We're sort of in a similar situation, just not to the life insurance extreme. But a grandparent who doesn't understand boundaries and thinks he/she can make decisions on a parent level with our children. Sorry, we're not a trinity here.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. need advice
    By frugal is fun in forum Automotive
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 02-07-2011, 01:05 PM
  2. Need serious advice...
    By Izzy0906 in forum Debt Reduction & Money Management
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 11-10-2007, 02:24 AM
  3. I could really use some advice? I need Help!
    By Precious26 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-09-2007, 08:27 AM
  4. Need Advice Please
    By Its_Donna in forum Vacations and Travel
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-04-2007, 09:22 PM
  5. Hey everyone I need some advice
    By lisettelovebug in forum Family
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-04-2007, 03:43 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •