Is etiquette still important or is it outdated? - Page 3
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  1. #31
    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
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    Someone mentioned it earlier and I think it is the core of the situation - Etiquette and manners reflect the respect that we have not only for others, but also for ourselves.

    We teach appropriate behavior all the time at school and I have to agree that parents are not doing as good a job as they could. Perhaps they were never taught. Working with children from an assorted of other cultures makes it easier to bring manners up by introducing things that we do here that perhaps they hadn't done where they lived before.

    Being of the older generation I really notice the changes in behavior over the past 50 years. At first it felt painful, but now it's more of a sad feeling. My DH tells me I expect too much of others - perhaps. I'll never give up encouuraging those who take the time and energy to show off their best side!!

  2. #32
    Registered User momof42003's Avatar
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    I believe in certain etiquette is a must. I have taught my kids to hold doors open for others, always say thank you. I do not believe you should wear jeans to church, and need to respect all elders (within reason), even if you don't think you should. I am trying to make the boys understand that you don't talk during concerts *even if it is only your middle school concert*, and interuppting is absolutely rude. Table manners are needed too, I expect the kids to be sitting appropriately, half way quiet, and eating nicely. In a resturaunt, they are so to mind their manners and use low not loud voices. Manners and etiquette are something that I hope more adult teach to their kids. I also make sure I do by these same rules. It isn't fair if the kids have to do it and the adult doesn't.

  3. #33
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    i believe etiquette is necessary.
    now do i expect ppl today to know the old "book on head" or "which fork does what & where does your glass go?".... No!
    That's what "I" was taught...

    Etiquette changes over time, but the need or use for it doesn't. It's always polite, always nice & shows respect.

    Maybe I'm old fashioned in thinking, but I believe it's important.

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  5. #34
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    Well, Mrs. Obama was partially embraced by the Queen first. IMHO, I don't care what etiquette says, had she just stood there, that would have been very stand-off-ish.

  6. #35
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    As a jr. high teacher, I've witnessed the decline of manners among youth in general over the last few years. (I've had girls throw a tampon across the room to one another. Talk about gross! Girls and boys will interrupt class to burp aloud. Parents don't seem to think this is cause for discipline.) Needless, to say, after 15 years, I've moved to Middle School--big difference!

    I still believe that "yes, ma'am; no, ma'am; yes, sir and no, sir; please and thank you" are essential. Do my children always address me and DH this way? No. But they know the correct response for the situation, and I can trust them to behave well and represent our family name in public with a little bit decorum. As my mom always said as she dropped us off: "Remember your up-bringing."

  7. #36
    Registered User IntlMom's Avatar
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    We teach and value manner and etiquette in our home, even to the extent that we are often considered "old fashioned"

    ~yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am/sir
    ~please and thank you
    ~my childen call adults Mr and Mrs so-and-so
    ~heck, there a few adults still alive that I call Mr/Mrs as I have my whole life
    ~open doors for others
    ~help senior citizens (my son made me so proud recently: helped a little old lady unload the groceries from her cart to her trunk, and then took her basket back to the store.)
    ~general table manners, of course
    ~sitting still and behaving during church
    ~my children can finish this sentence... "children are to be see and not ______. (heard) cause they hear it all the time

    ....the list could go on and on, but you get the idea

    We are old fashioned - and we like that way! (well, maybe not the kids )

  8. #37
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    We also subscribe to yes Maam/Sir, ALWAYS please and thank you, and so forth. My children are 4 and 6 and have been doing this since they learned to speak. I taught the sign language (as babies) so actually a little beofre that my littlest doesn't speak much yet but he too, will learn the rules. I consider some stuff old-fashioned but you never know what your kids will be when they grow up and they should know it "just in case" they become the president of the US or the CEO of a company. I would feel ashamed if I did not do my due dilligence in this area. My children also know children should be seen but not heard and can recite it as well.

    In the case of the Obamas, my MIL said she wondered if it weren't all an act. They have done many things recently that were not proper etiquette. I did not know this but apparently when the PM of England visited, there was no customary dinner for him. Pres. Obama was "busy" and sent a car to take the PM to a steakhouse for dinner. I don't care who you are, that is rude in every sense of the word. How can someone get to that position in life and not at least have people advise him on what is appropriate? ANyhow, there's my long two cents worth.

  9. #38
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    as they said manners are free! though they are getting less and less in society they are still important.

  10. #39
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    I think general politeness and respect are important. To a certain extent etiquette help people understand what is considered polite and respectable. To a certain extent it is also consideration of others.

    I remember being taught to use an "indoor voice" inside. I feel like most people are not taught that anymore.

    On the other hand, I am not going to talk about how it was better when I was younger. When I was a teen, other teens did not act particularly polite to others. If you were overweight, or hand a bad complexion, or having a bad hair day, people would make rude comments.

    I feel like the whole manners thing could use an update. I think we can all toss things like using the proper fork. And does it really matter what utensil goes on the left and what is on the right. But I think we can add photo etiquette in. I work in an area with a high concentration of tourist, downtown DC. People will pose for photos in such a way that they block the walkway. Now a quick photo is one thing. But generally it is groups. So there will be a photo of each person. And maybe multiple poses for each person. And then photos of different pairings of people - pictures of couples and best friends, etc. So it could be five minutes or more that people are blocking traffic. This is not an occasional thing. In a walk of just a few blocks, I will sometimes be stuck waiting three or four times.

    But I think much of it comes down to basic consideration. I feel like what is really important an attitude, a way of thinking. Am I making things inconvenient for other people? Is this something that will annoy other people around me?
    KathyB

  11. #40
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    I concur with everyone here.
    I could give many examples of what I've seen and been through and my husband feels that due to my short stature, I'm treated very differently than a taller person with the same title. In general, people need to be more respectful of others and treat each other the way they want to be treated. I believe that's called "The Golden Rule" but wonder how many even know what that is anymore.
    Good topic to think about.

  12. #41
    Registered User bookwormpeg's Avatar
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    I think manners are not taught in today society.
    Nothing upsets me more then to see a child acting out in a restaurant or making a mess with their food...and the parents just ignoring them...
    Writing thank you notes are a thing of the past I think. I have given numerous gifts (weddings, baby, birthday etc.) and I can count on one hand how many have written a thank you note.....
    I'm old fashion and think manners are very important....

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