Is etiquette still important or is it outdated?
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  1. #1
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    Default Is etiquette still important or is it outdated?

    Is etiquette still important or is it outdated?


    In watching the news the last few days it's hard to not see how some politicans are "supposedly failing" in diplomatic etiquette.
    The discussions about Michelle Obama touching the Queen of England, Pres Obama bowing to King Abdullah. Some folks are getting outraged about the whole thing. I can see both ways.
    Some people are saying that it's just a show of respect, some are taking reading from Miss Manners about how all of that was wrong.

    I've also seen posts on FV about what is proper etiquette when attending weddings, family gatherings or gift giving, etc.

    On one hand I love the formality of it, undisputed "class" and graciousness in all situations. I find it really interesting that there are all these rules of "polite society".

    On the other hand, geez all these rules for how one should comport themselves. Relax, settle down, this isn't regency England anymore. Sure be polite, show respect, try to put everyone at ease are a given, but to have rules about every little thing can just become nit picking after a while.

    I have a Miss Manners book myself, a huge tome of rules and steps to follow. Sometimes just for fun I will get it out and read it. When I was in high school I SO wanted to go to charm school as well.

    I never watch MTV, but actually have caught a few episodes of the series called "The Girls of Hedsor Hall".
    http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/the_girl...l/series.jhtml
    It is basically a reality TV show that will attempts to turn some of America’s most out of control girls into true ladies. They learn what it takes to become a proper lady. With everything from style and grace to etiquette and philanthropy.

    Personally, I feel that this world could use a little more formal etiqiette, heck I'd be pleased if we just could have good manners again. A simple "excuse me" when a stranger bumps into me at the grocery store instead of folks just not even acknowledging the intrusion.

    So does this modern world still need such formal etiquette?
    Last edited by Denvergirlie; 04-02-2009 at 10:08 PM. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
    Master Dollar Stretcher LastDragonfly's Avatar
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    Do we still need ettiquette? Well, I say we do out of respect for others. Now the Queen said she was not offended when Mrs. Obama embraced her and it was mutual.

    Have you seen people at a nice restuarant chewing with their mouth open and smacking? Someone did not teach them ettiquette.

    Ettiquette I equate to manners.
    Do I think we should have Victorian manners? No, I couldn't get anything done....

    We have forum ettiquette, and I know some people when it's not followed.

  3. #3
    Registered User Persimmon Lace's Avatar
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    I believe that etiquette is very relevant these and even more important than ever.

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    Registered User frugalwarrior's Avatar
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    I guess at this point I would be happy if I could go to the mall w/o hearing the word F--- coming out of someones mouth every 5 min.,have anyone end a conversation with "goodbye", or if someone cut you off in the car not flip you off. If you say excuse me please wait for me to move before you push thru. Must everyone act like they just enlisted in the roller derby.
    As far as the pres. and his wife go I can't image they were not briefed as to do's and don'ts. I guess if the queen can be gratious so can I.

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    Registered User MommyBliss's Avatar
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    I love the idea of more people learning etiquette. We try and teach our children some basic etiquette skills.

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    Registered User spyzvixxen's Avatar
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    Etiquette/manners are always important and I don't believe they will ever be outdated. I constantly ask people I can joke around with if they grew up in a barn with the open mouth/food smacking. Phone manners are also a big peeve.

  8. #7
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    They teach military officers cultural etiquette during professional education. It is very important in diplomatic situations. If you don't learn the cultural etiquette then many take that as offensive.

    Yes, IMO, manners and etiquette is still very important.

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    Registered User Must-Stash's Avatar
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    I believe in manners and etiquette. I think that culturally, we've lost ground in that arena. Heck, I'd be happy to just meet with a bit more common courtesy in every day life. In my experience, I have no problems with young people. It's their parents and even my own age that shows a willful disregard for basic courtesies. IMHO

  10. #9
    Registered User MomToTwoBoys's Avatar
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    Personally, I don't think there's enough of either etiquette or manners in the world today. So many people bent out of shape about everyone else but themselves... it's morally degrading and disturbing. If more people worried about themselves, they'd get a whole lot more done.

    At least Michelle Obama didn't get on a table and do a strip dance...

    Seriously, some people need to focus on what's going on in their backyard and with their own friends and family before they go worrying about people they'll never have the chance to associate themselves with. There are far too many people out there with nothing better to do than be unjustly judgemental of how others act. To me, it's nothing but utter snobbish behavior that sits right up there with putting your pinkie in the air when you drink your tea and sticking your nose up in the air when something doesn't appease you.


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    I too believe in manners and etiquette. I was appalled last year when attending a high school vocal concert. The parents sat and talked through the concert, while the students were singing! The next concert, the choir director gave the audience a lesson in concert etiquette (aka scolding) before the concert began. It's been much better ever since.

    I require my piano students to learn proper recital etiquette. So many just want to run back to their seats after performing for an audience, not even acknowledging the applause. We practice the entire process of bowing to say "thank you" for the compliment of applause, and why we do it. The younger kids just soak it up.

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    Registered User phoeny_moonstar's Avatar
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    I do too believe that etiquette= manners. I just wish people (mostly of my own age bracket) would be able to say "Please" and "Thank you" when doing something.

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    Registered User 2ndGenGranola's Avatar
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    I find it very sad when major figures make such obvious faux pax. You must ask though if it is ignorance or a statement.

    It would be nice to see a trend of thinking of someone other than yourself - hearing the simple words such as excuse me, please and thank you - turning the cell phone off in concerts, theaters, church (I witnessed a senior woman yapping away a few weeks ago) - I could go one but I suspect you know the list...

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    Registered User hotprincesscm's Avatar
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    I'm actually shocked by the lack of both etiquette and manners in our society. I don't think that parents are teaching their children, the way our parents or their parents did. I think we as a society need to bring that back. As far as the "presidential blunders" I don't think they are out of line...I think they were being polite in our society...Not everyone is up to date or educated on the foreign manners and etiquette, now I do think that the president when going to other countries needs to be "briefed" on these cultural differences so he does know how to act...but when does a hug become rude?? IDK...

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    Registered User lmbaker520's Avatar
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    I also believe that there is a large lack of etiquette and manners in our society today. I hate to be a pessimist, but I don't see it getting better any time soon. A lot of this starts in the home and until things improve there then there isn't going to be an improvement in the kids. There was another post that talked about parents talking through a concert. What makes people think that the kids of those parents will do anything different if that is who they learn from?

    I think that etiquette and manners also go hand in hand with respect for others.

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    I am a real stickler for manners. Please and thank you are two things my kids learned as soon as they could speak. I firmly believe in saying excuse me, men holding doors for women,etc. and I not only teach my children but expect it of them.

    As far as the presiden't wife touching the queen........I saw it on tv and the queen was returning that hug like it pleased her! Maybe the queen gets tired of all those strict rules herself and would just like to be treated like a normal human being! I bet she enjoyed that nice warm hug!

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