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I dont know what to do???

2K views 21 replies 22 participants last post by  Libby 
#1 ·
My dd17 wanted a cell phone and a i pod touch and a camera for christmas. Well I got the cell which was 100.00 but i dont think I can get the other 2 I just dont have the money. there is so meany things comming up like i had to pay for her cheer leading 68.00 and then she needs more money on the 12 th to go some where with the cheerleaders. i do have her other little things . so should I tell dd to pick out of the 3 which one she wants? I still have to get my dd15 her big gift.
 
#3 ·
Does she have a job?

If they each have a "big" gift and the 17 year old has already been bought a cell phone for a $100, and wanting an IPOD touch and a camera AND you're even considering getting all three what are the BIG gifts that you're considering.

Me, I'd leave it at the camera for $100 for the big gift and move on to the 15 year old. Sorry just me.
 
#4 ·
Those are 3 BIG items! I would stick with the phone ~ it likely has a camera on it. The IPod touch is nice to have but I think a cell phone would have more use.

Did you check out the IPhone 3G (not 3GS)? It's the first version of the Iphone and they are going for $99. It combines the phone, camera and apps of a Ipod touch. I have an IPhone (3GS) and I love it but probably could have gone with the 3G.
 
#5 ·
Those are 3 really big items. If it were me, I'd get her one of those items and tell her that maybe for her birthday you could get another. She may be disappointed, but you are doing the best you can for her.
 
#7 ·
My kids only get one big ticket thing. I would tell her to choose the one she really wants and I'd get that one. Then maybe she can get one of the others for her birthday?

There are other options as well. Go to the apple website and look for refurbished ipods. They are new and you get the new warranty with them but they are cheaper. My mom got my dd an ipod nano like this last year. You can also get her a cell phone WAY cheaper than 100.00. You can get a Tracfone for around 10.00 and add minutes to it every 3 months. We all have these (dh, ds and I have Tracfone and dd has a net ten). My dd pays 30.00 for 300.00 units every two or three months. They aren't fancy but you can call and text on them. You could get her the ipod and then ask someone else in the family to get a cheap phone and someone else a card for it. Then maybe she could get the camera for her birthday!
 
#8 ·
give her what you can
other than that, it is life pure and simple
she will understand....I would have asked her what is the number 1 thing she wanted, rest are a crapshoot..LOL

we never can have all we want, at least that was the way for me. Mom always said, what is the most important...I said, she gave regadless of the sacrifice to get it. I was thrilled.

no one in life gets it all...even at Christmas.
 
#9 ·
My 17yo (who already has her own cell phone -bought with her own money as she works at BK and a camera that she got for her birthday) also wants an iPod touch. I told her to save up for it. That's just too much money for a Christmas gift, especially when there are many other people to buy for as well.

Instead, she is getting a TV/DVD player for her "big gift".
 
#10 ·
How about budget a Christmas your family can afford? 3 big ticket electronic items? I don't think so...
 
#11 ·
I would suggest the iPhone as well. I have one, and I love it. I download songs and free podcasts from iTunes, can take decent pics with it, use it as my PDA, shopping list, budget tool, calendar, and watch, and occasionally I even make a phone call with it!! :D I bought mine back when they were pricey, about $300, but if they are down to $99, I'd say grab one!!

Your daughter is old enough to understand that it is you, and not Santa, bringing her presents, so she is also old enough to understand that you don't have a money pot hidden in the backyard.

One option would be, if you are planning on spending more on her, to give her a gift card for $$ at Best Buy (or similar electronics type store). She can use it toward getting any of her "wants," but will have to decide herself which is most important to her, and if she wants to spend any of her own money to get an upgrade.
 
#12 ·
its hard because alot of people ar on certain budgets here too.
If i could get cheaper work boots that last for a whole year i wouldnt pay $100(17 yr old xmas gift).
 
#13 ·
Some cameras have all 3 -- I know the Old Man's does.

Not knowing who your provider is, HERE are some ideas, you can always go to your providers website.

You paid for her cheer leading, and up coming trip...
 
#14 ·
Can you ask her to chip in on dd15's gift? That way, dd17's gift will in part be paid for by herself, and she'll learn that when she wants and gets something big, someone has to suffer..... In this case, let her help out with the other gifts.
 
#15 ·
Oh man, one cell phone is plenty.

There's no way I'd give my 17 year old those three things, especially if it was beyond my budget. At 17, she should have a little big of understanding and appreciation for what you can afford.

I'm not saying this to be a meany head. It really would not be in your daughter's best interest to buy her 3 expensive electronic items just because she asked for them, especially at the age where she should be earning money and saving for these things on her own. It's time for her to branch out and see what's she's made of, mama. Don't hold her back by treating her like a princess. :ack:
 
#16 ·
Just my $.02 but a 17 yo can understand that's just not in the budget! I'd have an honest talk with her over a coke or a quiet moment in the car or whenever. She needs to know this. She'll be on her own next year. Better to understand these things now. If she pouts, well, still a lesson learned.
 
#17 ·
I should hope she would understand. I don't know how your family dynamic is but I would never have even asked for 3 such expensive items for Christmas, especially at 17 (Ok, to be fair though, I was always the kid who said "nothing" when asked what I wanted).

I bet if she's a good kid and you tell her that money is going to be tight, she'll understand. My goodness, even if you could afford it, that's alot of big ticket items for one child (I use the term loosly since she's really not a child anymore).
 
#18 ·
I'm available for adoption.....

Im in agreement with the other people here, 3 big ticket items for gifts. Your setting the bar pretty high for the next few gift giving holidays.

Stick with one gift and explain to DD that its the way it is.

Make sure the younger DD understands this as well, it will make the next few years easier for them to understand.
 
#19 ·
I agree with everyone. The phone is more than enough for a christmas gift. And like others have asked, does she have a job? If she has expensive taste, it seems she needs to be the one to pay for it and not you.

As parents we want to give our kids everything they want but as parents we also have a responsiblity to explain "real life" to our children.
 
#20 ·
I haven't chimed in much on things lately, but here goes!

Three big ticket items?? Really??
Not even!
My kids don't even get a big ticket item any time of the year. They have to earn them! If they want a new cell phone, then they have to wait until the contract is up and they can get one discounted or for free. They phone that they get is one that can do all three.

Not trying to sound mean. Even though we can afford these things, are we really teaching our children if we just hand them things?
 
#21 ·
The best 'gift' you can give your kids is to sit down with them and educate her on your family finances. Does she know what comes in; what the bills are; what is left over at the end of the month? She's going to be on her own soon and needs to understand the economy and basic consumer finances. Mary Hunt has a book on how to educate kids on money matters (not sure the title) and I bet Dave Ramsey does, too. Not that I'm saying you should get her such a book for Christmas, but borrow it from the library and start working with her THIS WEEK. Times are tough; she needs to know that no matter how much you love her, you can't buy her everything she wants.

I know the economy is bad and jobs in some places are hard to come by; how much is that cell phone going to cost you each month, assuming she doesn't have a job and isn't going to be paying that bill? I'm assuming that because you are covering her cheerleading expenses...which, if she had a job, she should be contributing to herself. Or maybe she is; if so apologies for jumping to conclusions.

So. if you can afford it I would get her just one of the big ticket items on her list, and probably not the cell phone unless I were absolutely sure she was going to be footing the monthly bill herself, and I would encourage her to save up for the other items herself.
 
#22 ·
I'd opt for the iphone as well seeing as it has all 3 things that she wants in one. However...will she be footing the bill herself? Does she have a means to cover her own expenses? Does she NEED a cell phone, do you have a hard time keeping in touch with her etc. If there's a valid use for the cell, I'd opt for that...maybe not the specific model she wants but a basic cell is better then no cell right? And go prepaid - this way she can learn how to use it responsibly. You could always buy it for her but let her save up to activate it and pay her own bill. Hey she's still getting what she wanted right?

If there's no need for a cell, I'd hold off on it. Look for a camera or refurb'ed ipod. Does it have to be ipod? Can she get another brand of mp3 player?

IF you're budget is tight, I'd explain to her that between paying for her cheer leading and her sisters gift, there's not enough $ right now for one of her big ticket items but you can pay part of one via gift card.

Would an IOU work better for you - better deals after Christmas no? My gf's and I agreed to go Boxing Day shopping together for our gift exchange - max $25 and we went for a nice dinner after. Was really fun!
 
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