Do you think?
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    Registered User Rhiamon's Avatar
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    Default Do you think?

    Do you think that we are raising a generation of wimps?? This is a discussion going on another web board I belong to for my city. IMO yes and no. In my city we have the highest rate of sex offenders per capital then any other city in my province. So yes I don't let my seven year old go to the park alone or walk to school alone. I also am aware that the chances of a stranger doing something to her are lower than someone she knows. There are two people only I would trust to babysit her. Am I over protective in this manner sure maybe, but I am all too aware of the damage that 14 years of abuse can do. As long as she is where I can see her she is allowed to explore, climb as much as she wants. I have never been one to get to upset if she falls or hurts herself. Why because it happens. I have been to the park where a mother wouldn't let her son go play in the sand because it had germs!!! Heck DD ate a ladybug once! I have always said a kid that is dirty after playing is a happy kid! That is why we have tubs, and washing machines. DD also has no stop and think before she acts. So I am also aware that she would run out in traffic to cross the street, talk to anyone who would talk to her. She has zip for impulse control because of her severe ADHD.
    So what do you think are we raising a generation of wimps?

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    Registered User imagine's Avatar
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    I'm not sure we are raising whimps but we are raising overprotected children, mine included.

    They say parents raising children after 9/11 are more protective that the world changed. I say that might be true but things did change. Schools changed for one they started locking doors, asking people to sign in and get visitor passed, having teacher wear name badges so you know they belong there. When school is suppose to be safest place you send your children and they are doing all of this then even if at a subconscious level if nothing else if affects your parenting.

    Second the generation that is now parenting was the "first" official set of children to be day care children and latch key children. If a person was a latch key child, they may swing the other way and be constantly present or have a stand in adult constantly present. If they were day care children they are use to always having an adult supervising so they may feel that an adult always needs to be present.

    So I think the way the generation of parents was raised and the event of history 9/11 have made the over protective parents we now are. Will this raise whimps? Don't know. I wonder how our children will turn out?

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    Registered User PaulaMM's Avatar
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    I think so. We are so PC and concerned about hurting feelings, that we seem to be soft.

    For instance, in sports, now everyone gets a trophy. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, you get a trophy. On the surface, maybe that looks good, but I tend to think it encourages mediocrity and a sense of entitlement. Kids should be encouraged to do their best and those who do their best should be rewarded. What incentive does a child have to work hard if he knows he's going to be rewarded anyway?

    There again, it's a hard but necessary lesson everyone, not just children need to learn: sometimes you lose. You can pour your heart and soul into something and still not get what you want. It stinks, but it's a part of life. Let the knowledge that you did all you could be your reward.

    Don't even get me started on the germ hysteria pushed upon us! Grrrr! At the rate we're going, we'll all be living in mandatory bubbles within the next 20 years. lol.

    Ok, I'm exaggerating but still, I think, in general, people need to lighten up. Sure, turn in the fast food worker who doesn't wash his or her hands but stop handy wiping every little thing you touch! All this paranoia and frantic germ demolition is leading to superbugs that are are resistant to our efforts. We are shooting ourselves in the feet here!

    Then we have overprotective and sue happy parents who believe little Johnny or Sally shouldn't have to submit to the authority and rules set upon them by their teachers and school officials. I am of the opinion that these parents are setting up little Johnny and Sally for a lifetime of disillusionment and woe when they go out into the world and realize they aren't the center of it.

    My daughter once told me, in a snit, that she couldn't wait to become an adult so that she could do whatever she wanted. I responded with this: "Let me tell you something, little girl! I AM an adult and I hardly ever get to do what I want!"

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    Registered User bumplett's Avatar
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    Registered User fernykins's Avatar
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    I don't think we are raising whimps. You have to protect your children in this day and age. I do think a lot of children now days are not taught manners or respect.
    Fern

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    Master Dollar Stretcher aka DixieBob Dixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fernykins View Post
    I don't think we are raising whimps. You have to protect your children in this day and age. I do think a lot of children now days are not taught manners or respect.
    Fern
    I agree.
    I was overprotective, but 20 something years ago, my next door neighbor (he was at one time a cop) abducted and murdered a neighborhood girl. That left me way overprotective with my kids. My oldest ds and I had to testify at the trial. I wanted to do all I could to protect my kids and I admit, I went overboard for a while.

    As far as letting kids play, I was all for that and I didn't mind a bit if they got dirty. Like the op said, that's what washing machines and bath tubs are for.

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    Registered User TheresaRHPS's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=PaulaMM;1469551]

    For instance, in sports, now everyone gets a trophy. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, you get a trophy. On the surface, maybe that looks good, but I tend to think it encourages mediocrity and a sense of entitlement. Kids should be encouraged to do their best and those who do their best should be rewarded. What incentive does a child have to work hard if he knows he's going to be rewarded anyway?

    QUOTE]


    This is exactly my mom's philosphy, lol. Of course, she blames it partly on Mr. Rogers, which is an hilarious speech that she gives...but I can see the point. She taught for 30 years, then was at the board office for another 10 before retiring...she knows kids, and has seen many grow up under different philosophies.

    Me, personally...I work with kids daily at my job and see a mixed bag of parenting styles, with very little common sense-middle ground. Its either the parents let the kids run wild, doing whatever they want, not watching them (big no-no at my work place), or they don't let them have ANY freedom to explore and develop their independence.

    I'm striving to reach that common middle ground while raising my own son, and have realized I take almost a Montessori approach...I want to guide him, protect him, and keep my eye on him at all times...but let him be free to make his own mistakes, become independent, learn to take care of and protect himself, etc.

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    Member Darlene's Avatar
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    Yes. Teach your children to:
    Be self sufficient
    stand up for themselves
    be accountable for their actions
    work ethic, don't be afraid to get dirty and no work is beneath you
    life isn't fair
    first aid and home & life skills
    Look around you, not just for bad things but for endless good stuff
    live below your means & plan for that rainy day, it will come
    be as safe as you can but don't live in a bubble.
    if it doesn't feel right trust your gut
    Enjoy & share and dare to try new things
    Don't know something? educate yourself.

    Oh one more thing about people being wimps, every storm isn't the storm of the century and we don't need to freak out all the time. ok I feel better.
    oh another,lol...we all have choices to make, make them good ones and if you screw up, own it.



    Last edited by Darlene; 01-14-2011 at 04:36 PM.

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    LOL - this reminds me of a comment an acquaintance once said. We were at a living history farm which is an actual, working farm, and she said that people like us (she, myself, her husband, and another acquaintance) are perfectly fine with petting the animals and getting involved without having to sanitize everything before we move on to the next thing. (She doesn't work there, just spends a lot of time there like I do because, well, it's fun and a great place to be and learn.)

    It is amusing and a little sad to watch visitors sanitize their kids constantly when they're at the farm. It's even funnier to watch kids freak out at seeing horse manure on the ground. (Hey, it is a working farm!) But I loved watching one toddler stomp through a puddle for the better part of an hour or so without the parents interfering. They kept an eye on the kid but didn't stop him. They just thought about what they needed to do to warm the kid up on the way home.

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    Master Dollar Stretcher aka DixieBob Dixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darlene;1469634[SIZE=2
    Oh one more thing about people being wimps, every storm isn't the storm of the centry and we don't need to freak out all the time. ok I feel better.[/SIZE]
    Please tell that to the Atlanta media. Thank you!

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    I have to agree - I think everything is sensationalized, and we teach kids to be afraid of everything - afraid of being by themselves, afraid of germs, afraid of being abducted, afraid of everything.

    One thing I strive for as a parent is to explain my reasoning behind decisions (so that my son won't have to needlessly worry about everything) and to foster independence. If he wants to play in the woods behind our house, great. I will explain why he shouldn't eat the cookie he dropped on the floor 3 days ago.

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    McD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Telephus44 View Post
    I have to agree - I think everything is sensationalized, and we teach kids to be afraid of everything - afraid of being by themselves, afraid of germs, afraid of being abducted, afraid of everything.

    One thing I strive for as a parent is to explain my reasoning behind decisions (so that my son won't have to needlessly worry about everything) and to foster independence. If he wants to play in the woods behind our house, great. I will explain why he shouldn't eat the cookie he dropped on the floor 3 days ago.
    Yep. This exactly. We explain to Wesley why we tell him no to something, be it dangerous, etc.

    For instance, I explain to Wesley that we shouldn't talk to strangers....but we explain scenarios to him, as in "If you are outside playing and a stranger tells you to come with him, what do you do?". We do it this way because I don't want him to be scared to respond to someone when they say hi to us in the grocery store.

    We foster independence as well. When I take Wesley to the bank to deposit his piggy bank, I make him 'conduct his business'.

    As a friend of mine once said, "I am NOT raising children. I am raising my child to be an adult. Who in the heck wants to end up with a 25 year old child?"

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    Registered User zakity's Avatar
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    We are like your friend. Our theory on parenting is that we are raising adults, not children. We do not want them to be "children" when they grow up. We want them to be adults. We treat as adults where we can.

    As for children being wusses, yeah, most of them are. Most are disrespectful and have no manners.

    Actually, OPK (other people's kids) make mine look like they are angels. My guys are nice, polite, and mannerly most of the time.

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    Registered User erinalexmom's Avatar
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    I think that its ok to protect your kids from danger and especially tell them why its danger. But instead of "fixing" everything like I see alot of parents do, the key is to teach your child how to "fix it" themselves.
    For example, I am sad because I have anxiety disorder and I already see signs of it in my daughter who is only 5. Well the other night she was having an anxiety attack. So I talked to her about somethings that I do to cope with them. Its sad, I hate that she has to deal with this, but I cant always be there. So she will have some "tools" to help. Many parents would have an MD appointment the next day to get her on meds. Medication is right sometimes but it is not my go to response to "fix it"
    I will say one thing as far as the washing your hands after petting animals, my little neighbor girl went to a petting zoo, got echoli, and almost died. So I will say I am paranoid about it now. My kids are more than welcome to pet the animals but they MUST wash thier hands afterward.

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    Registered User ravenmaniac's Avatar
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    When I went to my daughter's college orientation I couldn't believe the stories I heard about "helicopter" parents. I thought I was an over protective parent!

    I tried my best to teach my children to accept responsibility for their actions, do not speak back to adults, and be self-sufficient. I have 2 kids that have grown up in the same house with the same rules and they both turned out different. Some of it is personality and intrinsic motivation.

    I still talk to my "kids" about life. You never stop being a parent.

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