Baby Born/Quit My Job/Depressed/Job Interview
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  1. #1
    McD
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    Default Baby Born/Quit My Job/Depressed/Job Interview

    Okay, this message may be long, and it may not make much sense, but I figure you ladies may be able to at least understand my situation, whereas my husband just pretends to and runs me a hot bath. (Bless his heart.)

    So as you may know, my son was born, I'm taking my maternity leave and I'm still dealing with the postpartum hormones. Prior to taking my maternity leave, I worked at a daycare. I didn't make as much money as I would have liked to (took a 1,000 a MONTH paycut by getting out of the National Guard), but I could have brought Wesley to work with me, and only paid 300 a month daycare, rather than 600 a month (almost as much as our rent )

    However, I came to realize this was not a place I was comfortable taking my son to, even if I was there. Apparently, one of our directors had been spanking some of the kids. Had I known this, I never would have accepted the job there, but once I found out about, I freaked out. I don't even know if I want to spank my son, let alone have to worry about someone else spanking him? Granted, that would be down the line a bit, as my son is only 2 weeks old, but it bothered me.

    So the dh and I discussed it, and after Wesley's doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I went into the daycare and told them that I was not coming back.

    I was fine with that decision. I still am. It's just that last night, panic set in, and I realized that now, I am unemployed. I have no job. I am in debt. And by having no job, and having debt, that just puts me and dh that much further away from buying our own home. And I really want my son to have a yard to play in and a dog to grow up with. My hormones kicked in, I didn't know what to think, didn't know what to do.

    I sent out some resumes through the desmoineshelpwanted website, one to a secretary's position, one to another daycare, one to become a civilian recruiter for the military (what I did while in the military), and one to become a bank teller at the bank that dh and I do our banking at.

    The daycare and secretary's position were sent out last week and I still hadn't heard anything, was getting very anxious. I sent out the civilian recruiter/bank teller resumes yesterday.

    So imagine my surprise when the phone rang today (I was expecting it to be UPS) and it was the branch manager to Liberty Bank.

    I have an interview on Tuesday! Yay for me, right? So one of the three grammas is going to baby-sit my son, and I have an interview.

    Now my next dilema is this: If they need me to start asap, I have no one to watch Wesley. He's not old enough for daycare yet. Any advice?

    Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get this off of my chest and I hoped you ladies would at least be able to empathize.

  2. #2
    Tina Bob
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    WOW you've got a lot on your plate so soon after your ds's birth.

    Congratulations on your job interview and I'll be thinking of you as you make your decisions.

  3. #3
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    Congratulations on the upcoming interview. It sounds like a scary situation you faced earlier and I think you made the right decision. I've often thought about working at some of the daycares here, but have found that I wouldn't be comfortable bringing my own children there. As far as starting right away, you are only two weeks pp right? I think the bank would understand, but you really need to take four more weeks to recover and bond with your baby. I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way that everything works out for you

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  5. #4
    McD
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    Yep, I'm only two weeks postpartum. I'm pretty much healed, which is scary considering I was in labor for 28 hours and had a third degree episotomy. And I really want to be able to stay at home with Wesley for another four weeks.

    I just don't know if it's finanacially feasible though, which is what frustrates me.

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    Super Moderator Darlene's Avatar
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    Deep breath... You have lots of good things going on and sounds like a better job is just around the corner. You've got an important job right now with that baby and the rest will fall into place. If it takes a bit longer to pay down the debt, so be it, you'll get there and when it's time a good job will be there for you too, really.




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    Could 1 of the three Grandmothers take care of Wesley or take turns doing it. I take care of my Granddaughter 2 days a week and every other friday. Her other Grandmother takes care of her the other 2 days and every other fri. I don't feel burdened at all. I love spending time with her. It's not everyday so it's not overwhelming me. Don't be afraid to ask for help, Grandmothers especially love to help. Good luck on you interview. Let DH keep on drawing you those hot baths! He is trying to help so let him.
    Men don't always understand womens thoughts and issues and worries.

    Mary

  8. #7
    McD
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    DH does try and help. I know he means the best, and I do love the hot baths.

    I don't think the grammas could take him during the day, much as they would love to. One lives four hours away, another works full time and the other is recovering from a bout of breast cancer.

  9. #8
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    HUGS and big deep breaths. You are a very good mum!

    You don't need the front yard with a dog nearly as soon as it may feel. When ds was tiny, outings in the baby carriage (pram) were wonderful, a gentle stroll to the nearby park and then a bit of blanket on the grass time and a snack, and a gentle stroll home.

    Babies in New York even live to college age in apartments and are none the worse for wear. Some even go to MIT!

    OK so the debt will take a little longer to deal with, but the house will come, you are the type who worries ahead and plans ahead, and in my experiance those women get ahead.

    You will.

    Time right now to give yourself permission to heal from the birth, and it's ok to say to a job, I have to sort out child care.

    You may even find that one of the jobs has some kind of child care attached.

    You may even decide to continue at home for 4 more weeks and allow your hormones a chance to start to settle and take it as a sign from heaven that

    you can get a job, that you do get responses from your resume.

    If it's a good job and you want to take it, then maybe ask the interviewer if she or he knows of a day care that the rest of them use.

    Phone around with friends and see if you can find a situation thru word of mouth.

    You may find that one of the other mothers that had a baby recently might wish to stay home by taking in another baby.

    Ask the public health unit, the nurses are usually in touch with these issues as many of them are working mothers too, and they may have some inside tracks into good daycares where the disciplinary methods are more to your liking.

    It is perfectly OK to follow your mother instinct. You hear all the time in abuse cases in day care that people were concerned and then they ignored the red flags and signals because they NEEDED that day care.

    You got your priorities straight woman and I"m typing here just cheering you on!!!!!

    Way to go girl, proud to know ya!

  10. #9
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    I agree with Darlene. You need to take a deep breath. Your job right now is to be there for the baby. He NEEDS you. It's THE most important job in the world. When my dh was a new father he worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. Any chance of DH taking another job?
    I want you to look around this forum for information on the cost of going to work. Read The Tightwad Gazette all three books. You'll understand what I mean about the costs of working.
    I'm not a SAHM- but I was fortunate enough to be one when my children were young. Now speaking to you as a pedi nurse- you're a valuable person and you sow the seeds for a stable child. Please reconsider returning to work so soon. There are many scientific studies about the length of time needed to bond with your new baby (6 weeks is average). Unless you plan on returning to work while carrying that baby in a kangaroo sack around your shoulder- don't return to the 'rice' fields too soon after birth - you might regret it.

    Have you thought about working the off shift and having DH care for the baby?

    Finally, remember! Their will ALWAYS be bills. Society is forgiving of new moms. Take care and huggs are coming your way.

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