A Modern Satire to solve the problems of Health Care, Food Costs , Fuel etc
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  1. #1
    Registered User FrugalWitch's Avatar
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    Default A Modern Satire to solve the problems of Health Care, Food Costs , Fuel etc

    The heated debate of another post regarding health insurance and other aid to the poor has put me in mind of Mr Jonathon Swift's
    A Modest Proposal

    Of course this satire had to be updated but I do think a workable solution could be found to end all worries about the pesky poor, disabled, elderly, handicapped etc who plague society by being a drain upon the deserving wealthy tax-payer.

    First we would require a culling of all persons (all ages) who are currently, or have anytime within the last twenty years received any form of public aid. This aid would include, but not be limited to: Food Stamps, WIC, rent assistance, Section 8 housing. The ten year clause is to cull those who might prove a future risk, if someone has received aid before they are naturally high-risk.

    Secondly we would require a culling of all individuals who cannot provide proof of adequate income to pay all of their current and projected future expenses. Any debt, mortgages, credit card balances, liens will count against the proof of income.

    It is suggested that each individual have at least $70,000 in income, savings and investments. Couples should have a minimum of $125,000. Those wishing to have children will have to have no less than $250,000 with an suggested $60,000 for each additional child. Couples must provide proof of adequate income before having children.

    There will no longer be any regulation whatsoever in the entire medical field. This is to free up all that senseless paperwork and bureaucracy money wasting. We hope you feel lucky using a hospital, doctor or dentist with zero regulation.

    All individuals are responsible for their own private insurance. However no hospitals, pharmacies, dentist or other medical fields will file your paperwork. This is a cost saving measure. All services must be paid in full on day of treatment. Patient will be responsible for filing for compensation from their own insurance carriers.

    Due to extremely high costs some patients will not be cared for at all, this will include, but not be limited to, premature infants, cancer, advanced heart disease and those requiring organ transplants.

    To avoid waste, culled persons shall have their remains put to good use. All fat rendered from the culled will be converted to alternative fuel for SUVs and Hummers. Meat will be inspected and sold as either fit for human consumption or pet grade.

    There will be no free public education. All children must be privately educated at the parent's expense. There will be no tax credits, EIC, or allowable deductions for dependents. Any child, of any age who cannot be educated to become a productive, high income earning adult will be culled, no exceptions.

    Any assets left behind by culled individuals will not go their heirs (if any) but will revert to the government. Rebates will be issued annually to the deserving rich, the highest income earners will receive the first and largest share each year.

    Those who are within the safe income range will be subject to future culling if their income and assets fall below standards. This will be done regardless of reason.

    All survivors of culled individuals will receive a certificate of sympathy suitable for framing.

    It is to be hoped that by enforcing these measures, without mercy or consideration to individual circumstances, an end can be put once and for all to the nasty business of aid to the less fortunate.

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    I'd forgotten about Jonathon Swift's
    A Modest Proposal. Thanks for the reminder and the smile!

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    I think anyone over the age of 75 should need culling to, due to the high risk of them developing alzheimer's disease...that's one very expensive disease. Also, all nursing homes and assisted living facilities should cull out the medicaid recipients.


    edit: ah heck, perhaps we should just cull out all the old people; they are expensive and no longer productive to society.

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    Registered User blitzen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suki View Post
    I think anyone over the age of 75 should need culling to, due to the high risk of them developing alzheimer's disease...that's one very expensive disease. Also, all nursing homes and assisted living facilities should cull out the medicaid recipients.


    edit: ah heck, perhaps we should just cull out all the old people; they are expensive and no longer productive to society.
    Don't forget cancer, heart disease and diabetes. Gosh, maybe my 80 year old grandpa should have just died back in February when they discovered his colon cancer. And my other grandpa, over a year ago, when they discovered he had pancreatic cancer. After all, they've been used to their full value after working all those years and contributing to society. What good are they now?! </sarcasm>

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    Registered User FrugalWitch's Avatar
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    Oh my yes, the old and useless would definately have to be culled, right you are. As matter of fact, as time goes on and the plan is implemented I should think anyone not in a high income earning bracket should go. Once the poorest dregs are gone, the middle-class will become the poorest class, and so it goes.

    Naturally anyone protesting these measures will be turned over for the full enforcement of the Patriot Act. Can't have any dissent against the deserving rich after all!

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    Registered User C@rol's Avatar
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    It is suggested that each individual have at least $70,000 in income, savings and investments. Couples should have a minimum of $125,000. Those wishing to have children will have to have no less than $250,000 with an suggested $60,000 for each additional child. Couples must provide proof of adequate income before having children.
    This will surely slow the growing population of the world. smh

    Due to extremely high costs some patients will not be cared for at all, this will include, but not be limited to, premature infants, cancer, advanced heart disease and those requiring organ transplants.
    That would include a lot of people not getting care.

    To avoid waste, culled persons shall have their remains put to good use. All fat rendered from the culled will be converted to alternative fuel for SUVs and Hummers. Meat will be inspected and sold as either fit for human consumption or pet grade.
    GROSS. Cannibalism.

    Any assets left behind by culled individuals will not go their heirs (if any) but will revert to the government. Rebates will be issued annually to the deserving rich, the highest income earners will receive the first and largest share each year.


    I hope this never becomes reality.

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    Registered User mombottoo's Avatar
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    Dang everybody I know would be culled...
    "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." John Lennon
    "Infinite goodness has wide arms." Dante

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    Registered User Lady_V's Avatar
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    I'm culled... and probably headed to the 'animal grade' pile...

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