My husband downplays my efforts to live frugal.

**KimberlySi** · 02-17-2010, 01:31 PM

My husband appreciates some of the things I do to be frugal, but tries to convince me that other things aren't working.

He says couponing takes to much time. That if I earn $20.00 and hour then the couponing is costing me that much per hour. I tell him I'm not earning anything at the time I do the coupons, so what he says doesn't count.

He also isn't very appreciative of the new way of cooking. I'm cooking more food from "scratch" and less quick fix food. He also claims he doesn't like the food I recently bought at a food auction for more than 50% below retail costs. I want to shake him sometimes!

I live 45 miles from the nearest large city. I try to make a once a week trip on the weekends to grocery shop. He wants to go to one store buy the groceries and go home. I could do that at my local Wally World or Brookshires! He's a just pay what it costs and get out of here type person. I would leave him at home, but weekends are our time together even if it is a trip to the grocery store!

Any suggestions!

Kim

**RaineyDaye** · 02-17-2010, 01:41 PM

Is there some non-food thing that he wants, that you could show him could be paid for eventually with your food savings? You could even put the savings each trip into a special savings account. For example, if you saved $0.50 on a particular item, and you stocked up and bought 10 of that item, then put the $5.00 savings into a special account. After awhile, he will see how much you are saving.
As far as him not liking made from scratch food, it takes a while to get used to new food.

**Mom2-3** · 02-17-2010, 02:22 PM

I agree with the pp. It does take a while to get used to real food after all those chemical-yummy-boxed foods. Our youngest is still turning her nose up at homemade mac and cheese!

Some spouses love the savings, others could care less. I would try to save the amount from your coupons and see how much it is in a month. Maybe after you guys enjoy a treat with the savings, he would be able to realize how much coupons can save.

**Greebo** · 02-17-2010, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by KimberlySi

He says couponing takes to much time. That if I earn $20.00 and hour then the couponing is costing me that much per hour. I tell him I'm not earning anything at the time I do the coupons, so what he says doesn't count.

Your husband has failed basic economics. Yes, you can tell him I said that.

The savings you make on the groceries *IS* what you are being "paid" for couponing. By his logic, if he makes $30.00 an hour at work, and he spends an hour at home watching TV, then by his "logic" TV is costing him $30 an hour.

He also isn't very appreciative of the new way of cooking. I'm cooking more food from "scratch" and less quick fix food. He also claims he doesn't like the food I recently bought at a food auction for more than 50% below retail costs. I want to shake him sometimes!

Don't tell him what the food costs.

I live 45 miles from the nearest large city. I try to make a once a week trip on the weekends to grocery shop. He wants to go to one store buy the groceries and go home. I could do that at my local Wally World or Brookshires! He's a just pay what it costs and get out of here type person. I would leave him at home, but weekends are our time together even if it is a trip to the grocery store!

What is your average savings by going to the store in the city vs. going to Wally World?

What is your car's gas mileage?

If your car's mileage is 25 mpg then the 90 mile round trip to the city costs you 3.6 gallons of gasoline, or nearly $10.00 if gas is $2.75/gallon. Do you save more than $10.00 by going to the city store?

And since weekend time is family time, do you want to force your husband to engage in a task he clearly doesn't enjoy - shopping for food - when you could be that driving time spending time together doing something you both enjoy instead?

Seems to me there's opportunity for attitude improvement on both sides here.

**McD** · 02-17-2010, 03:27 PM

When my hubby used to complain about it, I'd offer him that week's grocery money and a chance to plan a menu and stay under budget. He never seemed to want to take me up on that....

**vickilynn** · 02-17-2010, 03:33 PM

Greebo has pronounced wise judgement

I'd add that slowly I changed over because I know my husband doesn't like change. Once he got on board woo hoo..... 2 major debts will be paid off this year. And where did that extra money come from? coupons, not eating out, etc etc.

**Judi Dial** · 02-17-2010, 03:34 PM

My suggestion would be to either put your savings in a large bottle in the form of cash, so he can see it. (You save $2 on groceries, it goes in the bottle.) Or, if you really don't want to do that, keep a ledger.

The regular price of milk is $3, you got it on sale for $2, and had a coupon for .40, so you saved $1.40. Do both columns, the regular prices you would have paid and what you DID pay. Add them up weekly or monthly. Then make a point of telling him what you've "made."

Also, if you're doing housekeeping and childcare, find out how much you'd have to pay for those and make sure to include that in the amount you're saving too.

Many guys forget about those costs. Then you can show him that you're probably saving him a GREAT deal, although he doesn't "see" it.

I also agree with Greebo!

My

Judi

**Greebo** · 02-17-2010, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by MrsMcDowell

When my hubby used to complain about it, I'd offer him that week's grocery money and a chance to plan a menu and stay under budget. He never seemed to want to take me up on that....

I'm pretty sure Ceashels would do the same to me. I knew I liked you for a reason!

**frugalfranny** · 02-17-2010, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by KimberlySi

He also claims he doesn't like the food I recently bought at a food auction for more than 50% below retail costs. I want to shake him sometimes!

Kim

On top of what Greebo said.........don't tell him WHERE the cheaper food comes from.......some people are 'really weird' about buying from food outlets and etc. "oh, it is just seconds" "it will all be expired" etc...etc...etc.

And yes, some how SHOW HIM what you save---somehow. He has got to SEE what is being saved.

**McD** · 02-17-2010, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by Greebo

I'm pretty sure Ceashels would do the same to me. I knew I liked you for a reason!

It's easier than yelling. Yelling gets me no where...but attempting to increase his workload makes him very appreciative of all that I do.

**monkeywrangler71** · 02-17-2010, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by KimberlySi

He says couponing takes to much time. That if I earn $20.00 and hour then the couponing is costing me that much per hour. I tell him I'm not earning anything at the time I do the coupons, so what he says doesn't count.

Are you couponing in your free time or are you neglecting other more important things to clip coupons. If you're staying home from work to do it, he has a point, otherwise he is wrong.

He also isn't very appreciative of the new way of cooking. I'm cooking more food from "scratch" and less quick fix food. He also claims he doesn't like the food I recently bought at a food auction for more than 50% below retail costs. I want to shake him sometimes!

The first part is probably salt withdrawal, try adding a bit more flavour. The second is just attitude, stop telling him where the food comes from.

I live 45 miles from the nearest large city. I try to make a once a week trip on the weekends to grocery shop. He wants to go to one store buy the groceries and go home. I could do that at my local Wally World or Brookshires! He's a just pay what it costs and get out of here type person. I would leave him at home, but weekends are our time together even if it is a trip to the grocery store!

that's a long way to go for weekly shopping. If the prices are really lower do a big shop once or twice a month, otherwise just shop in your own town.

Leave him home, he hates grocery shopping. Spend time together afterwards doing something you both enjoy, rather than being miserable at the store together.

**spyzvixxen** · 02-17-2010, 05:28 PM

I stopped trying to make DF "get it". Not worth the fighting. Sometimes the less informed he is, the better. Gives me a cushion in the budget. He is slowly coming around but I don't push the issue nor do I make him go to the store with me. Its cheaper if he stays home.

**NewLeaf** · 02-17-2010, 05:28 PM

My dh got on board when he "saw" the savings. I keep track of my savings and show him at the end of ea. payperiod. Somehow the savings seem to snowball for us. When I don't use all of my biweekly grocery money (because I saved it w/coupons) I use the extra $$$ for my stockpile. And when I have lots of food in the stockpile it saves $$$ on the grocery bill. And so on....

The tricky thing about coupons is that you have to be very careful not to buy something just because you have a coupon. Once my dh trusted me and saw the savings he was on board.He even takes coupons to the store now himself lol!

When I buy food at our Salvage store I let dh in on it, but never tell our teenage son. He wouldn't eat it At first I didn't tell anybody where the food came from until they started making comments on how good it was......

And try really hard not to take dh shopping. You can get through it quicker and then you guys can do something more fun....trust me.

**ladytoysdream** · 02-17-2010, 05:48 PM

Mine still grumbles a little bit but...I am pretty sure he knows I am getting us some good deals on food.
Today he was pumping gas and I was in the gas station ready to pay and while I was waiting on him, I nailed three 4 packs of TP for 12 cents total OOP after coupons.
He knew I wanted to go into the grocery store before we came home and he stopped. I was trying to bribe him with McDonalds ( it's been a long time since we ate out ) , but he wanted chicken. So he got his cold roasted chicken for $ 5, and I used coupons and bought amost 5 pounds of pork for $ 4.22 total, after coupons. I would not have looked at the pork today without coupons. So he is eating good, and happy.
Bribery I tell you...bribery

And it's cheaper if I leave him home..............

**Hamada** · 02-17-2010, 05:58 PM

Do you by any chance remember what you were spending when not couponing? You can always remind him how much you used to spend. Many times receipts will show how much you save that visit. Tally this amount up at the end of the month and tell him how much you saved that month.

Keep up with the scratch cooking. It took a while years ago to get used to not having salt in the foods I cooked. Then when I ate something that was processed I could not believe how much salt was in the food. The same is true for sugar and fats. This spring try growing fresh herbs. They add a lot of flavor for very little money.

Just stay with it. Hopefully it will not take something like an unexpected expense for him to realize all the couponing, stockpiling, and other money saving ideas makes the expense just a bumb in the road and not a catastrophe.