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08-24-2007, 12:19 PM #1
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Putting one of my dreams on hold:-(
I am actually looking for some advice, in regards to having to put my Education on hold for a full year. The circumstances as to why I must do this is:
1. I am getting married next year and currently saving for it, also we need to plan for it as well we are slowly starting this process.
2. We are purchasing a brand new car in September when my lease is up. We have decided we don't want someone else's problem, and our intention is to drive the new vehicle for more than 10 years if possible.
3. I think I am best to take this time and declutter and organize. But also spend my time doing things that are important to me like working out I have been slacking on this for the last couple of weeks which is very unlike me
My personality is usually very optimistic but I am finding it difficult in doing so when I must place something that I started last spring that I truly love and enjoy but at the same time I feel that I am in a way putting my life on hold. How can I turn this around and make it a good thing?
I will appreciate any advise provided to me from all of you at the village.
08-24-2007, 12:40 PM #2
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I'm afraid I do not have sufficient information to give you an advice, but I'll try.
- Do you already have a degree?
- How long would it take to finish your education?
- Is it possible to work part-time & study part-time?
- Aren't you afraid that after a 'free year' you do not feel that much for studying (and probably also earn less)?
Personally I would opt for a cheaper wedding and a cheaper car, do the decluttering in sparetime/ or instead of watching television.
Study is important to me, which is one of the reasons why I work part-time.
08-24-2007, 12:55 PM #3
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In actuality I am working full-time, and I have been going to school part-time by taking one course at a time because realistically that's all I can handle. When it comes to getting back into study mode I don't have a problem with it by any means. As of right now I am furthering my education due to the fact that I only have my high school diploma. It's going to take me a long time to get my diploma first and go after my degree afterwards but I would much rather take it slow and steady because I burn myself out easily by taking on too much. Decluttering is something that I have started doing whenever I have 20minutes here and there eventually it will be completed which will be great.
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08-24-2007, 01:06 PM #4
08-24-2007, 03:49 PM #5
Well I have to add my name to the list that would say......Finish your education!
Opt out for a low cost wedding.....go to a small chapel, or justice of the peace.....and have a small party for close family and friends......go to a nice park and have some good pictures taken......I just can't see going into debt for a 1 day event.....Its about your love and respect for each other!
PS. Yes I am preaching what I practiced hubby and I got married in a small chapel, him in his military uniform and me in a nice borrowed dress (lace). flowers, cake and party were a total of I think about $500.00.....we are working on 17 years together and I am so glad we didn't start out with a huge debt to pay off.
08-24-2007, 04:30 PM #6
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Go to school, go to school, go to school. A wedding is a one day affair that serves for pleasant memories, and education is a lifelong affair that will serve your bottom line.
08-24-2007, 06:11 PM #7
I am not sure what you have planned but I would look at the wedding plans.
Every girl wants to be a princess on her special day but when you consider that more marriages end over finances than just about any other reason it might be best to go for a frugal wedding plan. I've been to a couple of these and they can be very nice. It won't look exactly like Bride magazine but you won't start your marriage with the cloud of finiancial stress. Plus, when you have a frugal wedding you don't just save yourself money but your guests too. Everyone is tight with money these days and new dresses, suits, shoes etc etc for a very fancy wedding add up pretty quickly.
The best wedding I ever attended was in my friend's parent's backyard. Grandma 1 made the dress, Grandma 2 made the cake. Grandpa made the beer and the reverend from the church down the street came over to marry them. All the guests brought something for the pot luck. They set up chairs and tables in the back yard and invited about 30 or 40 people. Everyone one wore the best they had but no one bought anything special. We all had so much fun. I don't think they spent much more than $1,000 dollars total (including Grandpa's beer supplies, dress material, chair rental etc) and used the rest of the money they could have spent to get set up in their 1st home together.
If I ever get married I plan to do something very similar... but I will steal Amy Dacyczn's idea about just making a list of things you need and letting people select something from the list and buy it wherever they want.
Anyway, it's just and idea.
08-24-2007, 07:50 PM #8
There was a show on somewhere not long ago about how to do a frugal wedding. It was on HGTV, I think. Anyway, they had a GORGEOUS wedding for under $1000. The family made most of the food, they opted for less expensive flowers, the church loaned them to chairs and tables, and she even got her dress secondhand at a consignment shop for like 1/10th of what she was going to pay for one! The men wore suits, not tuxes, it was held in her father's back yard, and it was beautiful!
Also, find out from the church when someone is having a big, lavish wedding, and ask them if they can leave the flowers and decorations in the chapel for your wedding. That's what my sister did, and she had a lovely wedding! My friend had her wedding around Christmas, when the church was decorated with Poinsettias. Again, no cost for flowers, and lovely!
I'm all for going for the education, and if you want to do a special wedding somewhere down the road, have a rededication service in about 5 years and do it up big. That's what my sister did.
Also, NEVER buy a brand new car! You lose $10,000 when you drive it off the lot. Buy one no older than 2 years old, and let someone else take the depreciation. You'll still have most of the warranty, and it will still last a long time.
08-25-2007, 09:13 AM #9
I think big weddings are way over rated. Seems to me it's a lot of stress & people don't remember most of it except a few key things and what they see in pictures. We had the mayor marry us and then a small reception with family afterwards. I've never regretted that decision and have been married over 22 years & counting. Instead of spending big bucks on a wedding, we put a down payment on a house. 9 years later we sold it and doubled our money.
I vote for getting married now on a small scale (the above ideas with potluck & such are perfect), buy a used car like a Honda that lasts forever & finish your education. End result you'll be married without huge cost but have all the love in the world cheering you both on & memories galore, have a good reliable car & will be on your way with diploma in hand to see you through to your next big adventure.
08-25-2007, 12:18 PM #10
I am currently working full time and going to school online. I'm not sure what you are wanting to major in but it is something that you may want to check out. You take the classes at your own pace and you can either pay $47 a month or you can pay the semester off. I like doing the classes when I have time and there is no pressure. The school advisors are great and they will help you all the way. Whatever decision you decide to make I'm sure you will make the best of it. Best wishes!
08-25-2007, 04:10 PM #11
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I also second going for a cheaper wedding. Plan a wedding a the lake, park, at a relative's home, etc. I actually did like one of the above posters metioned. I had a December wedding in a small family church that was already decorated with poinsettas. My aunt made our wedding cake. My FIL took our wedding pictures. My mom made my flowers. I still have them 20 1/2 years later. We saved for our future instead of spending it all on the wedding.
As for as going to school, I would say get your education!! Don't put it on hold because it may stay on hold forever. I know you have intentions of finishing, but something else will come up and then something else. I also work full-time, 40 hours a week and I take 4 classes each semester. I have a home and a very active family to keep up with as well. It can be done if you will just desinate a certain day and time each week to study and do homework.
Good luck with your decisions!
08-25-2007, 05:54 PM #12
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Some of my experiences...I just had a daughter go through all this the last two years.
This is a case of setting priorities.
~ The wedding will be a one day thing and give you nice memories.
~ The car will give you debt and a 10 year grace period before major repairs are needed...it's a depreciating asset. It also costs money to own (maintenance + gas + insurance).
~ Your education will give you debt, but it's an appreciating asset. Meaning you will earn more because of it.
My daughter bought a secondhand Toyota on a line of credit. It was a mistake. Pay cash for your car or don't buy one at all. It has hampered her ability to get student loans...which she needs because she can't afford university what with paying off that line of credit!
She did pay cash for her wedding, but then took wedding money to buy nice furniture, rather than put it towards her education. Another mistake.
Another thing to consider is that owning a car is a negative in the eyes of the student loans people in Canada. It counts against you. So I wouldn't be in a rush to buy.
Instead, move to an area close to public transit and use it. Or bike or walk, depending how far you are from university and where you plan to go to university. Some cities are more bicycle friendly than others.
Great job on the de-cluttering! That is important to continue. I always have good intentions of building in an hour of 'puttering' time a day to go through the house and 'putter' - putting things away, throwing them out, generally making the place look nice. Some days I actually get to it; most days not.
Best of luck with your decisions!
08-25-2007, 06:12 PM #13
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Since your education or lack of it
will affect how much money you make over the course of your lifetime, I'm with everyone else, stay in school.
I went back in my 30s and got my 2 year degree, the fastest degree I could get. We couldn't afford it then, but I could because my dad had died, and I had a little money from that.
We got married when I was 25, I'm 53 now. I just took my first college class since I got my AA this year.... The price for my one class was about what i used to pay for 3, when I went full time. It doesn't get cheaper, believe me!
If you don't make education a priority, it is easy the next time when it's shall we buy this fancy house or a not so fancy house and you go to school? to see the education as a "luxury" but it really will affect the rest of your life.
Also, re your wedding? I'd say about what the others have.
We got married in a judges' office in L.A. Superior Court, the judge was a family friend. He didn't charge us anything, a friend gave us a reception, and we stayed two nights (all we could afford) in a 1920's, swank hotel in L.A. I'll never forget it, and the friend performing the ceremony meant more than having lots of people, fancy clothes (although we were dressed nicely), etc.
Also, because we got married during the week, most of our friends couldn't come, our parents and siblings were there and some friends. After that, everyone congregated at a good friend's house for the reception,and I think my dad paid for the food. So it was dirt cheap for us, didn't cost a lot for anyone else, and we had people celebrating our special day whatever way they could.
We had a blast, and as I said, I never forgot it.
Buy your fancy clothes for your honeymoon, you'll make memories with them you'll both remember.
But if you have to go into debt to start your marriage, you're starting probably the most difficult thing you'll do with an added strike against you, the debt. Why do that?
Just my 2 cents worth!
08-25-2007, 08:37 PM #14
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I just thought I would let you know, that we are not the only one's contributing to this wedding in fact my parents are paying a 1/3 and same goes for my fiance' parents it's really what we all want it seems that we are all the same page of having a big bash. My education will never cause me more debt due to the fact that the company I work for is paying for it which is definitely nice. I will make a phone call on Monday to see if any classes are still available because I guess you could say that everyone is correct when it comes to my education it should always be an on going process. I am going to school for Human Resources Management which I have been intrigued about for the last few years. At the same time the place where I am currently employed allows me to keep up on my school work which is great because I multi-task quite well. We have also decided to hold off on buying a house due to the fact we are unsure as to when we will be transferred because of my fiance's profession he already has his education even though it took a hard and grueling six months. If we do get transferred to a small town where I can work part time or voluteer I would be going to night school full-time because that's the only time when my classes are available. In regards to the car we are still doing research but there is alot to consider. I do appreciate all the advice considering I am sure I will take some short cuts when it comes to a beautiful wedding:-).
08-25-2007, 09:08 PM #15
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If your employer is paying for your education, GO! Take as many classes as you can handle. GO, GO, GO! Do not put it off for any reason.
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