Birthdays - Why Do Some People Hate Them?

**Libby** · 04-25-2010, 02:46 PM

Just wondered if someone here may feel this way and could shed some light for me as to why some people hate birthdays?

I understand there's the jokes about aging - body malfunctions and deterioration that comes with it and then there's the whole big fuss about it etc but seriously...its just another day but this one would be special to you.

What's so bad about someone wishing you a good happy one or giving you a small gift? The only two cons I can see is if something 'negative' happened on this special day to make you totally hate it OR if this means a family gathering with relatives you do not wish to see.

Your thoughts please?

**Darlene** · 04-25-2010, 03:06 PM

Some people do get embarassed and don't like the attention. Hubby isn't a fan of birthdays & says they are for kids. He hasn't been a fan of b'days especially after his 50th. I poo poo that every year when he doesn't want a fuss. I tell him people want a chance to get together and give you some love. Nothing wrong with that & he does enjoy himself at the party & gloats over the cards he receives. I've toned down the gift giving with him since he doesn't really want anything by giving him consumables that are treats. Special beer, cashews etc.
I think birthdays are a cause for celebration and older means wiser in my book. I love my birthday, it's MY day, lol.

**stinkbug** · 04-25-2010, 03:31 PM

I don't like to be the center of attention....I'm 51....birthdays are just another day to me. I don't need or want gifts, but a happy birthday wish or card is fine.

**Neeley** · 04-25-2010, 05:08 PM

I am not sure about others but for me, it's like this.

My family has this obsession with calling you on your birthday. My grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousin, dad, mom, step-mom, two nieces, MIL/FIL and SIL will ALL call me on my birthday. I don't like to talk on the phone to anyone except my mom and dad. I know they are doing it because they love me and it is very sweet of them. However, it makes me nuts to have the phone constantly ringing.

I also get really bummed when I am reminded of how old I am. The fact that my life is half over and there is nothing I can do about it, is depressing to me. I want to be 17 again. I want to be young, carefree, stupid and thin. I don't like being an adult at all.

I loved birthdays when I was younger. My parents always gave me awesome parties and I looked forward to my day all year long. Now my parties are kind of lame. Just a cake and dinner. None of the hoopla or fun stuff I want. Nothing different or exciting. To make it even more boring, my parents always give me my gifts a week or so early. Even when I ask them to wait, they don't.

Yep, I sound like a spoiled 10 year old, but it's the truth.

I would just rather not be reminded of my birthday.

**Michelle** · 04-25-2010, 08:49 PM

I just hate it because someone always forgets or lets me down in some other way (some may remember a few years ago when my FIL gave me boxes of brownie mix to make brownies for HIM. :hopmad: , for example). This year is my 40th, and as I've mentioned in other threads, it's on Mother's Day. Well I just found out that my brother wants to have Mother's Day at his house...with HIS inlaws (including his 2 SILs and his BIL), my parents, and my inlaws. Not sure how I'm going to gracefully bow out of that one.

Soooo I'd rather just skip it altogether.

**krbshappy71** · 04-25-2010, 08:56 PM

Thanks for this thread. I have two people in my family that HATE their birthdays. ANGRILY hate that other people insist on celebrating it. I have backed off celebrating with the exception of slipping them a present, but if the entire family does throw a party or dinner, then of course I go.

I love my birthday, I am very touched by people who take the moment to say, "happy birthday" out of their other millions of thoughts of the day. They cared enough to make that effort. I don't care if they are late, I don't care if they are early, they still thought of me and there's a lot going on in this world besides little ol' me.

Psst, Neeley, how do you know your life is half over? Did God whisper to you that you get another 40 or so? 30? Last I checked none of us know if we are even waking up tomorrow. That's why I love every day that I get to.

**Neeley** · 04-25-2010, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

Psst, Neeley, how do you know your life is half over? Did God whisper to you that you get another 40 or so? 30? Last I checked none of us know if we are even waking up tomorrow. That's why I love every day that I get to.

Yep - he talks to me everyday.

My post actually was suppose to read "is more than half over".

I live with several chronic illnesses, a couple of which are often terminal. I wish I had 30 or 40 more years. But, I am realistic. I know if I live at least another 20 years, it would be more than a miracle.

**krbshappy71** · 04-25-2010, 09:24 PM

Ahh.

My mom keeps saying "we've got about 10 years left" and it just really confuses me. We aren't even guaranteed tomorrow, how can she claim she gets 10 years? She'll make comments like, "this will be our last cat, we wont outlive another one." Well she could die next week and not outlive the current one. Why does she have the current one? Why did she think 5 years ago she would outlive this cat?

I have a five year goal and my biggest panic attack about it is that I'm not even guaranteed the five years to complete it.

**dcompton** · 04-25-2010, 10:07 PM

I never liked the attention either, but tolerated it. I may buy myself a few "presents" - any excuse will do! but I am happy that I'm not in a situation where it has to be celebrated now by family. I have to take part in the birthday party at work - we celebrate all the staff birthdays of the month at the same time, and I dislike that, but mostly because it doesn't seem fair. The others get free time away from their desk with cake and ice cream. I get the cake and ice cream, but have to come to work early to be there, and at a time when parking is awful. Makes me a little grinchy about the whole thing. But again, I tolerate it as cheerfully as possible. Since that's the extent of birthdays now, its not bad.

I agree with Stinkbug - it's basically just another day. There have been some years I have forgotten it until several days later. I understand why it is important to some people. I'm just not one of them.

**Linus** · 04-25-2010, 11:25 PM

My g/f hates it for a variety of reasons:

- she hates being the center of attention
- it's the day before New Year's Eve
- her parents go way overboard and assume what she wants to do on it

Personally I'm ambivalent about it but would like to have one big bash now and again just for the heck of it.