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  1. #46
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    Polly,

    How long have you been married? You are 1 smart lady and you sure have it right and explain it very well. My kids laugh at me for quoting Dr Phil, but his saying on this is getting up every morning and figuring out what to do to make your spouses life easier. Absolutely loved the movie Fireproof; isn't the name of the book the love dare? I would like to read it. Funny I found this post today; hubby brought me home flowers just because and right now he's working 2 jobs because his construction business is slow.
    Pam

    PS If more people had your attitude the divorce rate would plummet!

  2. #47
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    Pam, 17 years this December. I don't know how smart I am, I'm just someone who knows what a terrible marriage is, and I don't want a marriage like my parents. I want my kids to always have a secure homebase (even when they are grown), I want to honor my vows before God.

    I do believe the book is the love dare, I was thinking on getting it used on Amazon after the hype died down a bit so it would be less expensive. I'd like to give it a go, it sounds like it would be very marriage enriching.

    Dr Phil can sometimes have some very profound statements when it comes to marriage.

    I love that post you found on the wife receiving flowers from her husband and he was working two jobs. Sometimes the simplest gestures mean so much.

    The divorce rate saddens me greatly. I do understand why some divorce though. I married at 16 and it was a terrible mistake, and there was no solution but divorce in our case. Very sad, very stupid of me to marry in the first place.

  3. #48
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    Polly;

    When I said funny I found this post today, I meant it was my dh who brought me flowers and is working 2 jobs.

    Pam

    PS I will be married 34 years in September
    Last edited by craftypam; 07-21-2009 at 10:49 PM.

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  5. #49
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    LOL! opps, I misunderstood. How fabulous of your husband to bring you flowers for no reason. Bonus points for him!!!

    34 years, Wonderful~
    Last edited by pollypurebred39; 07-21-2009 at 10:56 PM.

  6. #50
    QM
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    This afternoon I baked DH's favourite dessert...Angel Food Cake. I e-mailed him & asked him to bring home whipped cream & berries which he did...and I thanked him. While he was cooking supper (which he enjoys doing for the family) he mentioned that his plants that he just purchased were doing well...I complemented him that it was because he knew what he was doing. While he prepared supper I took both girls to a grocery store to pick up whipped cream (because DH's 'safety seal' was broken--I'll return it to the store in a day or two) and chips & dip for DH. I made sure to buy his favourite flavours. After supper I took DD1 out for a bike ride...which he usually does. He put DD2 to bed & I put DD1 to bed. After they were both in bed I offered to make him a HM Mike's Hard Lemonade which he accepted. He had that with his bag of chips. We watched a show on TV together and I tried to make it as enjoyable as possible.

    The entire time I tried very hard to listen to what he said, watched my tone and wording & not nag at him for 'how he spoke'.

    I plan to make DH his favourite muffins tomorrow...Apple Streusel.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  7. #51
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    Good job Quilting mama

  8. #52
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    Yay! Quilten Mama!!!

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    good work QM! It sounds a little too 50s house wife now, but after a while it comes naturally!

  10. #54
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    This morning I accidentally let one of the cats out. (They aren't allowed out early in the morning because of a neighborhood fox) I had to rush to catch my train and couldn't catch him myself. DH has a busy morning too and I am sorry I left him to deal with that. I will have to do something really special to make up for it.

  11. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by ml2620 View Post
    good work QM! It sounds a little too 50s house wife now, but after a while it comes naturally!
    ...I like the "little too 50s house wife"! Believe it or not, I have always wanted to be like a 50s house wife. Personally I think a lot of pioneer wives were "50s house wives"...they just didn't get labeled that. It doesn't come naturally to me which is why focusing on treating my hubby like a king (on this thread) should make it easier. I don't all the time...but I love wearing long skirts (I just bought a jean one that goes down to my toes) and aprons. I try to not run around the house with an apron on all the time because it's a little silly, but when I remember I use one while baking to prevent getting dirty.

    So...If any of you are 50s house wife material--give me your secrets. I'm all ears.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  12. #56
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    OK...The first dare in "The Love Dare" is...

    Love Is Patient (For each day there is 2 to 3 pages of very good information)

    The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  13. #57
    Registered User pop goes the weasel's Avatar
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    Well here's the plan I came up with. I am going to see if my dughter can spare a couple hours adn tak sd to her house. /she lives in themiddle of nowhere and hopefully there will be no problems. Then we are going to a flea market and doing lunch. Neither of us have been away from here in a long time and while staying home would be nice its' too close to my daughters and only one way in. so we'll see what happens. there are always back roads (Heehee)

  14. #58
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    PGTW, Why don't you have your daughter call her and invite her over for dinner and a movie? Maybe that way she won't feel like she's being pushed off on someone, she'll feel wanted. Which may help her to loosen her grip on you two.

  15. #59
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    Quilten Mama,

    Please keep posting the daily love dares. I'd love to join along.


    As far as 50's housewife, hmmm....I understand inspiring to be that. 1950's and under the divorce rate was very low. There had to be a good reason for that. I do however like that my husband believes I have intelligence and I'm just not the little woman without a thought in her head, who's sole purpose in life is to serve him at his command, which is todays perception of the 50's housewife generally. I like serving my husband imagine that! There are women today who balk at that and I suppose there are men out there who would milk that till the came home, but I believe part of my job as a wife and homemaker is to take care of my husband and meet his needs. A helpmeet. On the other hand my husband sees me as his equal, treats me with kindness and respect (on most days, but I have off days too), provides for his family, meets my needs for affection and companionship without reservation, a church going fellow who seeks to please God and his wife, so how could I not want to serve this man? (A lot of bumpy roads getting there though, marriage is not all gumdrops and lollipops)

    Funny you should talk about long dresses and skirts & aprons, I'm so there with you. I LOVE long skirts, I like looking like a woman~feminine. I dislike this style of dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, that style of dress is created for women but is not feminine in IMHO. My husband does not need to worry about eye candy, there's always something sexy underneath for him! and I'm positive that just knowing what's underneath is for his eyes only is a turn on. What man would really want a woman who shared her assets with everyone, please...styles are so tight and so lacking in material that a woman doesen't even have to undress for a man to know what she looks like naked. I do however have some of those outfits set aside to wear around the house just for him when the kids are gone But, I know he prefers me in a dress or a skirt over pants anyday and certainly would not want me to leave the house dressed in skimpy, tight clothing.

    I should have had your love dare yesterday. I tried to keep my mouth closed but I just was so irritated with my youngest and my MIL. Long story short, MIL wanted youngest to stay over, that's fine. But instead of dealing with me she deals with him, he does not have his chores done...Blah, Blah, Blah....BLAH! My husband could not fix this so me even just bringing this up was just a way to unload it, I felt better, I'm postive my husband did not. I should have taken my complaint directly to God instead of my husband, God can fix MIL, husband can't.

  16. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by pollypurebred39 View Post
    ... I do however like that my husband believes I have intelligence and I'm just not the little woman without a thought in her head, who's sole purpose in life is to serve him at his command, which is today's perception of the 50's housewife generally...
    I agree. Perhaps it is because of television shows from the past (like Leave it to Beaver and such) that leaves that impression. I firmly believe that most women had extremely intelligent "thoughts in their heads" (like they do these days) and showed their intelligence. It wasn't just 'stare blankly with a pasted smile and obey'.

    I also really love being a SAHM to our two girls. If people look at is as a 'second class job' then that's their problem, not mine! I am so thankful that God has allowed me to see their faces all day every day and instill in them the values and beliefs that I have. I understand that they won't grow up to be a clone of me, but it really meant something to me when DD1 came home from school a month ago with a sheet that had a fill in the blank. "When I Grow Up I Want to be a ______" DD1 filled in Mommy!!! ...I must be doing something right!

    Quote Originally Posted by pollypurebred39 View Post
    ...On the other hand my husband sees me as his equal, treats me with kindness and respect (on most days, but I have off days too), provides for his family, meets my needs for affection and companionship without reservation, a church going fellow who seeks to please God and his wife, so how could I not want to serve this man?...
    There are times when my husband, too, treats me with kindness and respect. It is the times that he doesn't treat me this way that I can easily get my guard up and unintentionally say hurtful things. It's very easy to have the wrong tone or wrong wording, especially when he is these moods. A book that describes this cycle well is called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Somebody has to break The Crazy Cycle or it'll never end.

    My DH phoned me around 4 p.m. to say he is coming home late. He used to bring his work home with him and immediately jump on his work computer the second he got home to finish his day. I have asked him to stay at work (even if it's after regular work hours) to finish his work, then come home to focus on the family. I told him that it's not fair for the girls or me to see him and have to watch him continue his work at the dining room table after missing him all day. He thinks that's fair enough and has started to do so.

    Today I baked him 2 dozen Apple Streusel Muffins. I'm going to bath the kids immediately after supper, tidy the kitchen while they play and try to keep the house as orderly and calm as I can for when he does come home. When he's unwound and had his supper, I'm going to offer to massage his shoulders and head. (He often gets migraines and supposedly it really helps when I massage his head.) I'll keep you posted if I do any other wonderful and kind things.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

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