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  1. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by pollypurebred39 View Post
    Ml, you know that's a great idea. Why did I not think of that myself? Instead I've been chiding him like a child, he's a grown man for goodness sake. Shame on me. I never once thought to help him with his struggle only scold him when he failed
    When you are caught up emotionally in the situation; sometimes its hard to come up with what seems common sense.

  2. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by pollypurebred39 View Post
    ...Quiping back and forth with scripture is fruitless, you have your beliefs, she has hers...
    I agree, Polly. I'd feel rude not to continue the conversation because Greebo is talking directly to me. I'm just trying to show him why I believe what I believe, if you know what I mean. I think we're just going to go in circles, Greebo. We're just going to have to understand that we don't see eye to eye and leave it at that.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  3. #108
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    QM:
    "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

    Please note the wording of that statement very carefully.

    It does not say, "Each of you should look to your own interests after you look to the interests of others."

    It does not say, "Each of you should look to your own interests, and then to the interest of others, if you've got time and can spare it."

    It says you should look NOT ONLY to your own - which is another way of saying "You should look to others interests at the same time that you look to your own."

    You've just proven what I'm trying to say for me.

    Listen - I'm not telling you NOT to try investing in your marriage to improve it first, or anything like that. If you can invest in your marriage in such a way that he in turn takes a renewed interest in investing in it, then it's a worth while investment.

    I'm only saying it would be VERY easy for that to go too far. You need to set boundaries for yourself so that, should your investments not pay off, you don't end up hanging yourself on the cross while your husband sticks the spear in your side...if that makes sense.

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  5. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by craftypam View Post
    I agree with you that their situation is not the same, but I think quiltingmama is trying to make it better. If she continues to be nice to dh; I'm guessing; that he will come around and they will both be treating each other better. When things aren't working out; it needs to start somewhere to get better again and that is what I THINK qm is trying to do.
    I agree - and I am NOT trying to tear down this book. I just would hate for something like this to be taken too far, and sadly, I've known women in the past who have done just that.

    NOR am I trying to tear down Christianity. I don't believe in it, mind you, but as I said, it does contain a goodish number of GOOD teachings. If more Christians actually lived by the word of Christ, this would be a much better world.

    Nor am I blaming inequality of the sexes on Christianity. There are plenty of other Religions with their trails of blood and damnable offenses out there - Christianity cannot get all the blame.
    Last edited by Greebo; 07-24-2009 at 07:15 PM.

  6. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greebo View Post
    ...I'm only saying it would be VERY easy for that to go too far. You need to set boundaries for yourself so that, should your investments not pay off, you don't end up hanging yourself on the cross while your husband sticks the spear in your side...if that makes sense.
    Thanks, Greebo! I'll keep that in mind.

    To whoever is interested in a really good book...Greebo just reminded me of another book called "Boundaries" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend that Focus on the Family recommends. "It delivers Biblically based methods on how to set healthy limits with a parent, spouse, child, friend, co-worker and even yourself while still being a loving person. It will leave you feeling empowered without guilt or fear." (I'm copying the product description from this site... http://family.christianbook.com/boun...8590?p=1143782) I searched my bookshelf, but I can't find it. I think I bought it a few years ago. I'll have to re-read it after I've completed "The Love Dare" book.
    Last edited by QM; 07-24-2009 at 07:25 PM.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  7. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiltin' Mama View Post
    ...Day 4 - Love is Thoughtful

    Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

    In regards to Day 4...I'm going to have to e-mail him and he'll receive it on his blackberry. He doesn't want me phoning him at work unless it's an emergency, and I don't think Day 4 qualifies as an emergency. I'm going to say, "Hello my Love! Just wondering how you are doing. Is there anything I can do for you today? xoxoxo" I have no idea if he'll think I've lost my mind and not reply to the message. Who knows. We'll soon find out....
    OK...Back to "The Love Dare"...I e-mailed DH this afternoon like I said I would, and this was his response. "Head massage for my headache." Sounds easy enough! I'll let you know how the evening goes.

    Why is it that every challenge I start, there is far more chatting than when I joined?
    Last edited by QM; 07-24-2009 at 07:56 PM.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  8. #112
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    "NOR am I trying to tear down Christianity. I don't believe in it, mind you, but as I said, it does contain a goodish number of GOOD teachings. If more Christians actually lived by the word of Christ, this would be a much better world."

    I didn't think you were in any shape or form. It's just like I said, sometimes we as Christians get on the defense given all the negative attention we get. There's enough nut cases out there swearing that their bad behavior is a direct command from God to make us all look bad.


    "Nor am I blaming inequality of the sexes on Christianity. There are plenty of other Religions with their trails of blood and damnable offenses out there - Christianity cannot get all the blame. [/QUOTE]"

    Again, I didn't think you were. But since QuiltenMamas actions were based on her religous beliefs I believe I made the comment without error. not all these offenses come from religon however, many are purely tradition.

    I'm only saying it would be VERY easy for that to go too far. You need to set boundaries for yourself so that, should your investments not pay off, you don't end up hanging yourself on the cross while your husband sticks the spear in your side...if that makes sense.[/QUOTE]

    That is an extraordinarily graphic depiction of a marriage outside of the laws of God. It saddens me to think that there are those who live under this man made burden. But, I know that marriages like this exist. It is clearly seen by this statement alone that your posts were out of concern.

  9. #113
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    I know Quilten Mama, your the quiet type. Perhaps your not so quiet after all. LOL!

    You know, I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall when your husband received that text! I'll bet he can't wait to get home knowing he's got a head massage coming his way.

  10. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by pollypurebred39 View Post
    I know Quilten Mama, your the quiet type...
    Oh yeah! I forgot!
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  11. #115
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    QM: Let's face it. You just have the gift! LOL!!

  12. #116
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    When I was out at the grocery store today, I bought DH something I knew he'd like for breakfast...raisin cinnamon bread. It was a good kind that I found on the shelf with an expiry of tomorrow. I went up to one of the bakery guys and asked if they reduce bread that expires the next day. He said that it should be reduced. I told him that the regular price is $3.49. He marked it down to 99 cents!!! I bought all three loaves that expire tomorrow. It should show DH that I'm thinking of him.

    This evening went quite well. DH picked up pizza, wedges & wings for supper & we had a "family movie night" with the kids. It was to celebrate DD1 doing so well and trying so hard at the swimming lessons that just ended. It was a very enjoyable evening.

    Whenever DH asked me to do something (small stuff...like wipe the kids hands or to help him with something), I made sure to do it immediately and with a pleasant disposition. It's really not hard doing something for your hubby when you put his needs before your own. That's something I'm just starting to learn.

    When the movie was almost done, a friend of DH's (from our church) came over to show DH his new car. The two of them went out for a little ride then had a visit at our house. During that time I tidied the kitchen, bathed the kids and put them to bed. I did it all with a cheerful heart.

    Before I go to bed I'll be sure to give DH his scalp massage for his headache. I think DH has noticed that the past few days have been very pleasant, and it's given our home a much happier feel. Yay!
    Last edited by QM; 07-24-2009 at 11:16 PM.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  13. #117
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    Okay, today was the day to call my husband and just say hi, ask if he needed anything. Like QuiltenMamas husband, mine would not really be thrilled at me interrupting his busy day to answer a call that did not have urgency. Inbetween his morning job and his 12 hour shift at the pizza shop he came home to change and it seemed like the best time to ask him. He said no, there was nothing. That's it, seems rather uneventful on this end.

    Not sure how to make the rest of his day better? By the time he comes home the only thing he's going to be interested in is hitting his head to the pillow.

    QM- great job on getting the discount bread. Cinnamon raisin, mmmmm. I'm sure your DH will enjoy it. He must be noticing by now how pleasant things have been. You've been doing a really fine job with this Love Dare, I'm impressed. I on the other hand am still struggling with being negative...hmm..I wonder if I've always been,

  14. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by pollypurebred39 View Post
    ...QM- great job on getting the discount bread. Cinnamon raisin, mmmmm. I'm sure your DH will enjoy it. He must be noticing by now how pleasant things have been. You've been doing a really fine job with this Love Dare, I'm impressed. I on the other hand am still struggling with being negative...hmm..I wonder if I've always been,
    Thanks, Polly. ...But you haven't seen today. For whatever reason, DH is in a grumpy mood. (Maybe it's the rainy weather, maybe he has a headache/migraine...who knows.) I've kept my cool for the most part and as best I can, but it seems that whatever I do DH is nit-picking at everything I do. He says that my tone to our girls isn't nice enough; he says that I'm not listening to him (which in his mind probably justifies him raising his voice). I've stayed as calm as possible and apologized and acknowledged my mistakes, but he still looks miserable. He mentioned earlier on today that he's noticed I'm making an effort, but I think it's not good enough for him. I just had to vent because I'm a little down right now. I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. I can't change him; I can only attempt to change myself. As soon as I sign off this thread I should pray and ask the Lord to give me the strength and patience to make the day as good as it can be.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

  15. #119
    Registered User grneyegrl's Avatar
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    maybe you should stop trying,. it seems nothing you do is good enough. start investing in your self...not to be mean but you need to have a serious sitdown and ask whats up? are we in this together or not.. its not easy starting over but it seems to me you are beating your self up....

  16. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by grneyegrl View Post
    maybe you should stop trying,. it seems nothing you do is good enough. start investing in your self...not to be mean but you need to have a serious sit down and ask whats up? are we in this together or not.. its not easy starting over but it seems to me you are beating your self up....
    For me, 'stop trying' isn't an option. In our wedding vows I said "For better or for worse until death do us part." We're in this for life, and I'm going to do my part to make our marriage the best marriage ever.

    I can't change him, but God can. I'm going to cast all my burdens on Him, for He cares for me.
    If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.


    Put ALL EXCUSES ASIDE and remember this:
    YOU ARE CAPABLE!


    2016 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week Challenge
    Started at 139.8 lbs on Monday, May 9th
    1st goal will be 135 lbs - reached 135.8 lbs goal on Fri, May 13th!
    2nd goal will be 133 lbs - reached 133.8 lbs on Fri, May 20th!
    Reached 132.6 lbs on June 1st!
    3rd goal will be 130 lbs - reached 130.8 lbs on Thurs, July 7th!
    4th goal will be 129 lbs
    5th goal will be 127 lbs
    6th goal will be 125 lbs

    Personal ~ as of March 12, 2016
    Pay off my Mortgage
    $36,303.13 (3 years, 1 months left)
    Pay off My Line of Credit ~ Van
    PAID OFF IN FULL!!
    Pay off my Line of Credit ~ General
    $26,058.14

    Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge....Hey, if it were easy, every moron walking would be wealthy.
    ~Dave Ramsey

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