Creating a new home - Page 3
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  1. #31
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    Bernice , no ikea. I am a pottery barn freak on my pintrest board lots pottery barn hacks.

    I have been through it.. but happier now... I may never have what I had matrial procession wise. And that is ok. ... I just want a quiet, sirene, simple apartment...clean...

    The only thing I miss about my old life is the income and our laundry room and pantry. If we had 1/3 of that income steady I would be content...

    I really miss that laundry room it was huge... a pantry that was huge. Floor to ceiling cabinets for food storage. A walk in closet. Washer and dryer .. and 3 drying racks.... plus my rocking chair....

    LoL

    I almost have everything I asked for when I prayed. My life was dismantled... now putting it back 1 piece at a time.... and I wouldn't change it back. For all the stuff and money.

    We are free... he is not using... and our relationships are better with the whole family... God blessed us. ..

  2. #32
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    Been thinking about what makes me happy... less clutter .less stuff.. I alreadd see a painting that does make me happy any more..it is gone.. going to declutter my bedroom today..

    Simplicity is what I crave

  3. #33
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    Any words of advice on things that you would have done differently? I really sympathize with your story. I can't imagine the pain you have endured emotionally, but the good news is that your husband is clean..and that's what is really important. Material things come and go.

    My cousin was arrested recently for a drug-related crime. She lives quite a ways from me and I haven't seen her in years. I was absolutely floored. She is the cousin that resembles me physically. I looked at her and couldn't recognize her.

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  5. #34
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    My husband is an experience person.. concerts, camping, vacations. Races, movies.. I am a home person .. this is were we clashed.I was a frugal spender..but savings he never did understand.. u have to find a way to meet in the middle.

    my advice to anyone is to save.. I am starting to save pennies , change, 1 and 5's.. starting small..trying to build an emergency fund..
    my income is intermittent, that I run out of stuff and have to spend.

    Being a frugal spender is fine but savings is the most important. Stockpile is king..
    and if someone starts on this road of drugs try to take over finances. I thought about leaving I really did if he had not quit ....

    My life is different. I still think middle class I think that may be Making it harder on me..

    I appreciate the little things...

  6. #35
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    Thinking of my brother... he is autistic.. I will worry about him... he will starve to death..and he misses u when we are gone..don't wanna stay here hope he moves with us.

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    is your brother eligible for services?

  8. #37
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    He n won't have them... he gets disability and a 16 dollars in food stamps. . Will not spend 1 dollar on food.he buys pop he is addicted to pop.. he eats 2 to 3 plates full every night. .he will starve when we move v out... I worry about him

    He will not let me sign up for services to get this house fixed... he is very set in his ways

  9. #38
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    Can you call around and see if there are services for him? He seems to be a person who is in need of some assistance for adults with mental health issues who need help with day to day living. Maybe there is someone who could provide counseling for him to help you change his mind about getting some of the work done. Sometimes people do better with new ideas if they hear it from someone outside the family, KWIM?

    If he moves with you, won't you still have the same problems when it comes to him allowing work to be done?

    It seems a shame if you all have a house that's paid for and could be fixed up, if you can't make changes so you're all okay with staying there and could have a nice place again.

  10. #39
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    It could be fixed up... he won't have it..can't take change.. next year he is going g on vaction with family. Maybe I can paint a a couple rooms and put new rugs down..

  11. #40
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    I don't know much about autism. Have you reached out to that community? Maybe others who have a loved one with autism would have some ideas how you could help your brother accept some changes to the house. I bet there's a bulletin board online with people who go through the same things you are. At the least, it might be some support for you.

  12. #41
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    Thank u I never thought of that

  13. #42
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    A whole $16 in food stamps, how kind of them. Sheesh

  14. #43
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    Worred worried worried may never leave here not good on my mental health..

  15. #44
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    Hugs, take a breath OM, at least for now you have a roof over your head, which is better than nothing. I don't have the idea your brother would kick you out, as it would be a change for the worse for both of you and being autistic he doesn't like changes, right? Just try to make little changes that he does feel comfortable with if possible. Keep an eye on your love, take care of him and take one day at a time. Try to stay calm and think about what would you do if you do have to stay there forever. Cry if you have to, but if you have to stay there, what are you going to do? And I know it is 100 times easier to say this than to solve it, but as you know, I have my own burden that I have to carry everyday and sadly there is no other way than to just taking it one day at a time and to keep trying and hope for the best.

  16. #45
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    OM, I can't keep details straight, i forgot your brother is autistic and you are staying with him. Do you have a place in the house you can go and just be alone, away from the fray? Is your Dbro capable of not verbally abusing you or is it something you are stuck with?

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