I'm feeling quite overwhelmed - Page 2
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  1. #16
    Registered User Toffeekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovechocolate View Post
    Let your needs be known to friends, family, neighbors, church folks, etc. At times like this you need all the help you can get. So many people have been in your situation, or at least something similar, and are probably very willing to help if they know you need it.
    Thank you; we have let our friends know the cancer has returned and people are willing to help, I know, I just haven't yet got organised enough to ask for practical help.

    Family: huh. There's my husband's sister who refuses to have anything to do with me, blames me for any behaviours/attitudes she sees in her brother that don't suit her. So no help there; that's for sure.

    We are new to this neighbourhood - only been here since February; we know our immediate neighbours but that's all. I've told them the situation, which is difficult for them to deal with as they don't know us as people.

    We don't belong to a church; I sometimes wish I did.

    Our workplace (we are substitute instructors at an outdoor education centre 17 miles away) colleagues know our situation, but again, I haven't yet asked for practical help. Taking the laundry to a laundromat would be SO helpful. Thank you for this suggestion.

  2. #17
    Registered User earlybird's Avatar
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    Toffee - I am sorry i didnt see this thread sooner. Everything I thought of has been mentioned. I will pray daily that you receive the help you need. Just ask, if someone can help they usually will.

  3. #18
    Registered User Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toffeekit View Post
    Your suggestion that someone would take my stuff to a laundromat - I'm sure someone would. I just hadn't thought about it. Thank you.
    Those of us who aren't used to asking others to help think differently than those who do it routinely. We're always trying to figure out the best way to do everything ourselves. It's hard sometimes to make the switch over to asking for help.

    Just remember people are not mind readers. They may want to help but not know what to do. No matter how much I wanted to help someone, I doubt I would ever think to offer to take bedding to a laundromat, but I'd be more than happy to do it if I knew someone needed it.

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  5. #19
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    I just read this thread. I'm so sorry for all that is happening. I'm putting you both on our church prayer list too. I wish I knew someone near you that I could tell and have them give you some help!

  6. #20
    Registered User Toffeekit's Avatar
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    Hello to all who are supporting us, over the internet. A general update . . .

    We met with the Oncologist on Monday 13 June and a further treatment programme was established, to begin as soon as possible. Might even have been this week BUT . . .

    On Tuesday 14, Stuart became delirious early in the morning (4.00a.m.) and I didn't know what to do: I called the Emergency Ambulance, and the paramedics came - helped, did a full assessment of the current situation (the presenting symptoms, not the underlying cancer, of course) and took him to the Emergency department of the University Hospital. There, all kinds of monitoring and tests were done . . . the doctor on duty did a good examination, as well as taking oral history, and sent him for scans . . . and then also admitted him to the Acute Assessment Unit, which is where he is now, Wednesday.

    When I left him, yesterday evening at 8.00pm, he was rested, reassured, and trusting the nurses and doctors to get things sorted out. The Specialist Consultant on the ward assured us of all that would happen and so - we wait. He, there, I, here, at home.

    I will go during visiting hours, this afternoon - 3.00 - 8.00 pm. I want to spend the maximum amount of time with him, if he's up to it, when I can. The parking fees at the hospital are horrendously high, but - we're all trapped in this system and we have to pay.

    Here at home, there are phone calls and messages and offers of support. As SpiritDeer says, those of us who aren't used to asking for help don't know where to start! But when there are tasks, I/we WILL ask. I asked Stuart to start a "Team Work" list of ideas we could put before our friends, so if he's been in the mood to do that, there will be things on his list I can start ringing round for. I know people DO want to help, but they don't know what we need if we don't tell them.

    Those of you who have us in your prayers - please keep us there. Thank you, all of you

    warm regards
    Toffeekit

  7. #21
    Registered User earlybird's Avatar
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    Toffeekit - So sorry to hear your husband is hospitalized but it sounds like you did the right thing. I pray that all goes well and treatment is successful.
    Good idea to put together a Team Work list. I feel like when you let people know you have a need they are more than happy to help.

    Don't forget to take care of yourself. Stuart will need you to be healthy.

    Stay strong and my thought will be with you.

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