Tired of materialistic gift expectations :(
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  1. #1
    Registered User The Muse's Avatar
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    Default Tired of materialistic gift expectations :(

    In the past, DH and I have fallen in line and bought my MIL a gift card or some other generic gift for Mother's Day.

    This year, we thought we'd do something different, and we thought, special.

    I spent Saturday afternoon baking her a basket full of muffins from scratch. I made blueberry muffins, mini cornbread loaves, and individual coffee cakes. Then I packed them all up in a pretty fabric lined basket:



    It was a gift that I would be thrilled to receive, but her reception was lukewarm at best. All she could muster was a comment about how FIL would enjoy the muffins.

    It's been 2 days and I'm still burned up about this. I literally baked all afternoon, from scratch, and she'd rather have a giftcard or some more crap to add to the 2 storage units and basement full that she already has. I know I need to let it go, but my feelings are beyond hurt.

    I just do not understand people.
    Last edited by The Muse; 05-12-2009 at 12:42 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User ahmom's Avatar
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    I would have loved it. I always told my DD's that the best gift is one you make.

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    Registered User baxjul's Avatar
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    I would have loved it also!! I think it was very rude of her not to just accept the gift, thank you for it, and not bring it up again. Hugs.

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    Registered User NewLeaf's Avatar
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    Gifts from the heart are the best. I'm so sorry your feelings are hurt. Most of the gifts I give are handmade so I have been in your same situation. Dh's family would just look at the gift and toss aside w/out even a thank you (at Christmas time). I finally stopped attending and working so hard to make 15-20 individual gifts. On the flip side, the gifts they gave me were usually something in the (obviously) wrong size.

    This year dh and I made upside down tomato planters for both of our mothers. The cost was around $5 ea. including 3 plants ea. But they both were pleased that we put an efffort into their gifts.

  6. #5
    Registered User YankeeMom's Avatar
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    Next time it's time to send a gift to your MIL, you send ME her basket It's a lovely, thoughtful gift that would be well appreciated over here.

    (((HUGS)))

  7. #6
    Registered User geckoace's Avatar
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    how could someone no appreciate home baked bread!? what a wonderful, thoughtful thing to do.

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    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
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    Am so sorry that your MIL didn't appreciate your thoughfulness, work and generosity. Your basket is beautiful and yummy looking!!

    I think that most of us crafters have had our gifts of love and creativity underappreciated by others (why is it so often an in-law?). It happens to me all the time with mine. No longer bothers me.

    If I want to make anyone a gift, I do so because it is important to me. No way can I affect their response, but I am in charge on my reaction to them.

    I usually share my talents and energies with those who enjoy getting special gifts. For others, I'll buy gift cards or some store gift.

    Am glad that you took a picture of your gift basket - perhaps it'll be a good reminder for next time.

    Take care....... and as it has been said - I would have been thrilled to receive your gift basket!!

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    Wow. My MIL would not be getting any more gifts after acting like that!!

    Over the years, we have seriously toned down gift giving in our families. It was just getting out of hand. My sister and I agreed a few years ago to just stop exchanging gifts at Christmas time and birthdays, but my Mom still wanted gifts--so we give her small gifts for birthday and Christmas.

    I had everyone over for a mother's day bbq, but didn't do gifts this year, and I plan on continuing that trend! We'll see how it works...

  10. #9
    Registered User monkeywrangler71's Avatar
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    I think perhaps she should be getting nothing next year.

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    Registered User ri*smom's Avatar
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    I think it's a lovely gift.

  12. #11
    Registered User Persimmon Lace's Avatar
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    It's a lovely gift and it's hurtful that she didn't care for it. Unfortunatly those types of gifts aren't everyone's cup of tea. I'm fortunate that our moms have reached the stage and age that they don't want anything else in the house. So I got flowers for my mom's front porch pots and some asparagus from the farmer's market and dh picked his mom a beautiful bouquet of peonies from bushes we started from her 60 year old plants.

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    Registered User kittykatstrong's Avatar
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    I would have loved that gift.

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    Registered User Michelle's Avatar
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    I'm sorry. That was rude, and I would have loved a homemade gift. In fact, my kids gave me tissue paper flowers and "love" coupons, and I always love their homemade gifts best. And that goes from everyone.

    I am always so touched to think that someone actually took time out of their busy day to make something just for me.

    If I were in your shoes, I would be giving a card next year.


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    Registered User JanieD's Avatar
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    Its hard to please some people. Many are just rude about gifts that aren't exactly what they expected. What happened to appreciating the thought & effort that goes into a gift? Honestly, there seems to be a lot of expectations tied to gift giving & it really bothers me. Some you just can't please & other only see the cost related to a gift. I think we all "have to" buy for those people. So, I just spend less time on their gifts since I can't please them anyway. I think a homebaked goodies basket would make a wonderful gift. I'd be very disappointed if it wasn't well recieved!

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    Those looked good. My mother-in-law gets a card. In the past she would have snubbed a gift like that. (anyone who goes out and buys their own gifts so they'll like them would.) She was always furious because her parents liked our gifts better than hers because I took the time to put together something thoughful. Some people are their own worst enemies.

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