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  1. #31
    Registered User AnW819's Avatar
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    DH and I had a total of $6K in debt. I posted before I was not sure of the exact number, but that exact number is 8k.

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    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnW819 View Post
    DH and I had a total of $6K in debt. I posted before I was not sure of the exact number, but that exact number is 8k.
    Ok - and as I recall, that is debt that is already in collections, right?

    It's "awake" but it's not so much "behind" as it is "charged off and they're hounding you for money" yes?

    I would not put of moving into a place of my own for a YEAR while trying to get out of debt. Your marriage may well not survive it after the last year of living with YOUR dad - and heaven knows, FV may not survive hearing another year of "our roommate" stories

  3. #33
    Registered User AnW819's Avatar
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    Yes they are just sitting in collections but if I get an apartment plus the utilities there is not much if any money left to spare to pay that off.

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  5. #34
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnW819 View Post
    Yes they are just sitting in collections but if I get an apartment plus the utilities there is not much if any money left to spare to pay that off.
    Yeah?

    So you would go from $300/month rent to $1,500/month rent+utils?

    C'mon Ash - we've had the conversation before about making up assumptions and then living as if those assumptions were real.

    You've moved recently - have you priced out apartments in the area?

    And really - yeah I know you owe 8k but if you move and end up with $500/month to throw at them, and they're in collections which means you make offers to settle, you could still end up being out of debt in less than a year and worst case is 16 months. (500*16=$8000).

    Do you want to be in a situation where you're constantly bickering with inlaws, putting MORE strain on your relationship, with no space, for a year?

  6. #35
    Registered User frugalfriend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greebo View Post
    Ok - and as I recall, that is debt that is already in collections, right?

    It's "awake" but it's not so much "behind" as it is "charged off and they're hounding you for money" yes?

    I would not put of moving into a place of my own for a YEAR while trying to get out of debt. Your marriage may well not survive it after the last year of living with YOUR dad - and heaven knows, FV may not survive hearing another year of "our roommate" stories
    OK, I agree with you to an extent. But, if we look at the other side of things . . . remember how the last time in an apartment went for them?! Not so good. I know they are adults and need to fend for themselves eventually, but I'm going to side with Ashley on this one and say establish an EF, pay off the debt, get sure footing, then get into an apartment with a clean slate and a MUCH better chance of succeeding this time.

  7. #36
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfriend View Post
    OK, I agree with you to an extent. But, if we look at the other side of things . . . remember how the last time in an apartment went for them?! Not so good. I know they are adults and need to fend for themselves eventually, but I'm going to side with Ashley on this one and say establish an EF, pay off the debt, get sure footing, then get into an apartment with a clean slate and a MUCH better chance of succeeding this time.
    I don't mind building up something of an EF so they can weather another storm if another happens (yes I remember the job loss and angst).

    But the debt in collections can pound sand until they're OWN FOUR WALLS are covered. Right now they're not - they're under someone else's four walls.

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    This is how I would do it (and I'm probably reiterating what other people have already said):

    Basic staples: eggs, milk, condiments, tea bags, rice, etc. would be community property. The bill would be split among everyone in the house (minus Dad, I suppose, who is the "landlord"). I would sit down at a "house meeting" and come up with a rough list of what's considered community, adding to it as needed.

    Specialty items: cookies, crackers, chips, drinks other than milk/water/tea are PERSONAL and should be treated as such. If you didn't buy it, don't eat it. Each couple can have their own shelf or you can label items. These are things you pay for out of your own pocket (same with them).

    I would buy my own medicine and hygiene items. I do my laundry at my grandparents' house, but we have our own detergent and laundry stuff.

    I see that you said labeling isn't working for you, but I am wondering why. It's as simple as... if you didn't buy it, don't eat it, like I said. If they are having a problem with respecting your stuff, I would think that's way more than just a food issue.

    Just my 2c. Good luck! Hope you get it figured out soon.

  9. #38
    Registered User frugalfriend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greebo View Post
    I don't mind building up something of an EF so they can weather another storm if another happens (yes I remember the job loss and angst).

    But the debt in collections can pound sand until they're OWN FOUR WALLS are covered. Right now they're not - they're under someone else's four walls.
    Maybe she's scared after the scenario last time in an apt., and tired of getting hounded and harassed by debt collectors, and just wants to put bad decisions of the past behind her?

  10. #39
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greebo View Post
    I don't mind building up something of an EF so they can weather another storm if another happens (yes I remember the job loss and angst).

    But the debt in collections can pound sand until they're OWN FOUR WALLS are covered. Right now they're not - they're under someone else's four walls.

    Yes yes and more yes. I would be finding a room, small studio etc. to live in already.

  11. #40
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    Check out Craigslist. I have friends that rent out a room in their home. The tenant has a room and bath to themselves. They are allowed to use everything in the kitchen and are allowed a shelf in the pantry and refrigerator. Rent is VERY reasonable. They have been doing this for a couple of years now.

  12. #41
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    If the debt has been written off...which is normally after 6 months of non payment...then there is no interest accumulating. You can pick one at a time to pay.

    How did they get your phone number? You never give it to them. If they have your phone number...get their payment address then change the phone number if it's a cell. If it's his dad's then again..how did they get the number if you just moved.
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  13. #42
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    I am going to do what I think is best here, and DH and I both agree that we do not want to get another apartment after an eviction last time and have it go wrong. $1000 EF is not even enough if one of us looses our jobs. I am not willing to take a risk right now over bickering about food, and if me venting here is going to cause internet arguments I will stop because I can tell some are getting fed up. I just came here for suggestions on what others do with bigger familys as far as food. That was it.

    And yes, I have lived in this area my whole life. Lansdale, PA. Its a very expensive area. I have looked on craigslist today just to price is out, found 2 apartments that did not say credit check required around the $800-900 range and when I called they said a credit check is required.

    You can disagree with me all you want but its a slim slim chance in this area to find an apartment who will not do a credit check. Its not like West Virginia where people rent out homes, etc. Its ALL apartment complexes here. Some areas are different. If I was in WV I would have no problem finding a place to rent with a 500 credit score and an eviction but here, forget it. Even the people who do happen to have something to rent out require a good credit score.

    I am just sick of letting that debt sit there. I want to pay my debt off. I have 4 walls we are allowed to live in. We pay rent, DHs dad is fine with all this. The problem is DHs sister who is MY AGE. She is just miserable.

    I want to get footing. I want to have a fresh start. I want to make sure when we move our debt is paid off. It may make things easier for us then when we want to find an apartment.

  14. #43
    Registered User HappyMama's Avatar
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    No advice, just sending you hugs Ashley! Glad you are back. Take a deep breath and think things through and take the best course of action for you.

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    Each of the living suggestions have benefits and drawbacks.... Greebo is correct...living with your inlaws presents a series of problems that will be hard to live with in the near future....however,living in an apartment presents a series of problems that will live far into the future (debt overload).

    Ok so....here it is Ash.... you need to get really good at counting....like to ten.....everytime your sister in law gets on you ....start counting and walk away....You are choosing to live there...choose to say nothing....make your room your haven...and yeah...hide as much convenience food there as you can... but still pull your weight with the other grocery bill and with the cleaning.... This will not be an easy option for you..it looks like the easiest right now...but Greebo is right this will be hard on the whole family...relationships take work and with this group of people it's going to take alot of work to keep everyone civil.

    Use this time in your life for growth....practice patience and forgiveness...both will serve you well in your future.... and remember....it's just a blip in time really...one day you will look back on it and think.... those days were not nearly as tough as i thought they were...

    You can do this....I know you can....one day...maybe even one hour at a time....

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    Hang in there Ashley!

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