Ever Had Grief Counseling?
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  1. #1
    Registered User forHISglory's Avatar
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    Default Ever Had Grief Counseling?

    My dad died 2 months ago. I miss him terribly, but I would not want him to be back on earth in the terrible condition that he was in. I am fully confidant that he is in a much better place.

    I am a strong woman: not strong physically nor in a pushy way. I just have always had a deep emotional strength on which to build and lean. I have always had a good and strong mind. I make good strong decisions. I like to think that I have strength of character.

    So why am I finding myself so angry? I just have this anger bubbling beneath the surface. It's not anger at my dad. I feel angry with my sibs for what they have been doing with Dad's estate. I'm angry with them because of my mom's situation. It eats at my gut, and I start crying during the night and can't sleep. Then I start eating..... and I've gained weight that I don't need.

    Today I received information from Hospice, where Dad died, about their grief counseling program. I never thought that I would need something like this; remember, I'm the strong one. But now I'm thinking that perhaps I should participate.

    Have any of you ever been to some sort of grief counseling? Do you think what I have been feeling is the result of grief? Do you think the counseling works?
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  2. #2
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    Sorry to hear about your situation. You have to realise that counselling isn't for weak people. It is there to help answer your questions so you can move on with your life. It is a tool to help understand your emotions. It won't hurt to try it.

  3. #3
    Registered User bookwormpeg's Avatar
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    I think you are going thru the stages of grief which is perfectly normal.....Counseling may be a good idea....why not try it? Big hugs.....things will get better.....God is good!!!!

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    Registered User FrabjousDay's Avatar
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    Yes, I've utilized counseling to help me work through and cope with grief/loss issues. I'm also a therapist who frequently works with grieving individuals. It can be a very helpful process.

    Grief Counseling: The Grief Process, Models of Grief, and Grief Therapy

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    I've been living thru what you describe since I lost my sister who was my best friend in 2009. I barely speak to my siblings. I no longer attend family functions and it's all so damn hard seeing as my parents are 80 & 83. I have so much anger in me due to things that were said during her final days. Siblings who barely took the time out of their "busy" lives to sit by her side. I have one sister who kept leaving the hospital each nite saying "oops gotta go we have concert tickets, ball game tickets, dinner at the beach, vacation bcuz they were stressed!" The whole time I wanted to scream YOUR sister will never see a concert, the beach or a ball game again - don't you give a sh*t? I have so much resentment in me somedays it's just unbearable. I'm not the touchy/feely counseling type of gal. I know when my parents are gone there's no way in Hell I'll be sitting down to holiday meals with these selfish people. I wanted her in hospice - my siblings talked my nephews out of it. She passed in the hospital which was NOT her wishes. Right down the hall from where I work. I honestly told my DH to let them all know I've passed after the fact. If you think you'll benefit by all means go -

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    No,I havent I do feel that it is easier to be angry than admit your hurting. There was an excellent piece I read recently asociated w/ the site livestrong.com It was a basic article about anger eating to stuff down the feeling. This is me to a tee.
    I hope after our live slows down a bit Dh can seek the same as he lost his mom about the same time.

  8. #7
    Registered User savvy_sniper's Avatar
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    I have never been to grief counseling, BUT I did join an Alzheimer's support group while my mom was alive and I cared for her. I knew I was struggling (no help from my brothers and lots of anger). It definitely helped me to cope. So I say, go to grief counseling. It can't hurt!

    P. S. you are in my thoughts and prayers!

  9. #8
    Registered User ilovechocolate's Avatar
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    I've had counseling and it was wonderful. My counselor was affiliated with a Christian counseling organization and we had known each other prior to my need for help. It truly was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Please avail yourself of any help you need. You are worth it!

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    Take it. I went through an anger phase after Mom died. But she was a suicide so it was directed at her. I realized it was stupid. As DH says, "she went out on her own terms". I still think it's sad and I miss her terribly, and dang it her grand-daughter could have benefited from her presence, but ultimately she was a very sick individual and this was not her first attempt. I would have benefited from grief counseling if any options were presented or available, but the only option the only option I was presented with was more drugs to kill the pain. But that's another story. If you have the option of grief counseling, take it!

  11. #10
    Registered User CookieLee's Avatar
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    I haven't but it can be good. I just think 2 months is too soon to expect to recover from such a profound loss.

    What helped me most was reading a book called, "How to Survive the Loss of a Love". Yes, this is appropriate for the loss of you dad. Who is our first love? Daddy, of course. I don't know if the book is in print anymore but it is pretty easy to find. You might even find it on Amazon.com.

  12. #11
    Registered User MissSeetonFan's Avatar
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    Grief counseling, a support group, any place that you can talk out your feelings about a loss CAN be a good thing. Some are not good counselors, some groups are not good but if you can find good ones, it will help tremendously!

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    Registered User cottageliving's Avatar
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    I am sorry for your loss. Your anger is a normal part of the grieving process. Please do take advantage of grief counseling. many years ago I took advantage and am so glad I did. Like you, I was always the strong one and so held off from counseling longer than I should have. It will help you work through your feelings of loss and anger. I met with my Priest on several occasions and also went to a counselor. The combination was truly beneficial to me. You have my best wishes. Know that there will be a time when the anger subsides.

  14. #13
    Registered User Lovemybliss's Avatar
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    I'm actually an MFT(marriage and family therapist) and I strongly encourage you to try a session to see if it would be a good fit for you. Therapy is your own journey, your therapist is there to listen and sometimes gently guide you.

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    Registered User Libby's Avatar
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    fHg - did you get the help? I think its a great resource whether you're one week, one month, one year after losing a loved one. Everyone grieves in different stages and in different ways. What takes someone 1 yr could take someone 1 month etc.

  16. #15
    Registered User nodmicks's Avatar
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    I did not but I should have. I got too busy taking care of everyone's needs but mine after my brother died. I gained almost 40 lbs self comforting. I did the same a few years before with a loved ones suicide. I still feel a bit resentful I had to comfort everyone and their brother , mother, uncle and deal with everyone's feelings and needs while stuffing mine because everyone but DH thinks I am so strong. I learned my lesson and if hurting I have the right to not be last.

    In all honesty I would not hesitate at all to get it. Hugs!

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