Ok any suggestions? i want another baby but...
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  1. #1
    Registered User mom23boyz's Avatar
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    Unhappy Ok any suggestions? i want another baby but...

    I cann't have one. Well I can but DH cann't. He had a vasectomy 9 years ago when DS#3 was 2. I have always wanted more but he didn't so...he got "fixed" I think ...Iknow he too has regrets at times but not much we can do. A reversal is out of the question since we cann't afford it. My question is...can anyone suggest how I can get past this feeling. I dream about being pregnant, every month I hope and even pray for Gods graces to give me another chance. Most ppl think I am nuts since my "baby" is gonna be 12 but I just feel like...I cann't explain it.

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    Registered User shellyrhds's Avatar
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    How about trying to foster or adopt through a foster agency? Lots of kids need good homes, if you foster they give you a small stipend to help cover the cost of another kid in the home, your kids would learn the meaning of helping others, and you'd be doing the world a favor by helping it's most important citizens, kids!

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    Registered User joyofsix's Avatar
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    I wish I knew. I've just resigned myself that there probably won't be anymore but i still feel grief over that. I guess it's best to acknowledge how sad you are and grieve like the loss it is.

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    Registered User mom23boyz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shellyrhds View Post
    How about trying to foster or adopt through a foster agency? Lots of kids need good homes, if you foster they give you a small stipend to help cover the cost of another kid in the home, your kids would learn the meaning of helping others, and you'd be doing the world a favor by helping it's most important citizens, kids!
    We have talked about it and continue to kick it around a bit.

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    Registered User Momto2Boyz's Avatar
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    I'm in a similair boat. DH and I have decided that we aren't going to have any more kids. We have 2, and we lost our third (and almost lost me in the process while giving birth at home, becuase it happened so fast), so when that happened, we decided that we just couldn't go through all of that again.

    So, DH was scheduled to get snipped last year, and cancelled the appointment at the last minute. I thought he was scared, but then once we talked about it, I realized that like me he just wasn't sure.

    My head tells me no more babies (it's dangerous after losing the last one, our house is too small, I'd have to buy a mini-van (eww) and it is just so nice to have kids who are old enough to take care of themselves), but at the same time...my heart still wants another one (of course, I'd cross my fingers for a girl ).

    It's hard, because DH and I are both really conflicted about it. For now, we've decided on pregnancy prevention, but nothing permenant. We'll just see where the future takes us, but I don't think we'll be adding to our family any time soon!

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    What about volunteering at a hospital in the OB section? Or maybe volunteering/working at a daycare. I know the daycare at our YMCA is always in need of help and I believe if you work there, you get either a free membership or a discount. (at least at ours here). Offer your services as an in-home nanny/daycare provider. That way, you get to snuggle with little ones all day.

    I don't know how you get rid of the feelings, I don't have them. I am currently 100% content with my two kids. Do you want another because you are hoping for a girl? I have a good friend who has 3 boys...The youngest is now a junior in HS. When I was pg with my 3 year old, and I found out it was a girl, she said, she would do anything to have a girl, that she wanted another baby, but only if it was a girl. LOL. I told her that she only had a 50/50 chance at that.
    Last edited by MoonMommy; 02-11-2009 at 11:11 AM.

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    mom23boys- I'm a foster mom & I LOVE it!!! I was going through the same feeling that you are feeling now. When you are a foster parent, when/if the child goes up for adoption you normally have first choice if you would like to adopt that child or not. My kids have definetly realized how fortunate they are to have such a great life & great parents. I willa dmit some of the kids I have had drive me bonkers, but the majority of them touch my heart. I currently have a 2 year old down syndrome little boy & I'm head over heels in love with him. Being a foster parent isn't for everyone because there are alot of heartbreaks involved. But its something to think about Good luck!!

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    Registered User mom23boyz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoonMommy View Post
    What about volunteering at a hospital in the OB section?
    Do you want another because you are hoping for a girl? I have a good friend who has 3 boys...The youngest is now a junior in HS. When I was pg with my 3 year old, and I found out it was a girl, she said, she would do anything to have a girl, that she wanted another baby, but only if it was a girl. LOL. I told her that she only had a 50/50 chance at that.
    Well I actually am employed in the Couplet care dept at our hospital which is postpartum/nursery so that actually has made it harder! Yeah I would LOVE to have a lil girl BUT I would also be happy with a lil boy!! I cann't exactly explain the feelings I have.

    We have discussed foster/adoption and I will really start talking to hubby HEAVILY again about it. I did mention it the other day and he kinda swooshed me off...said we don't have room...would have to get rid of the computer room. I would have to move tho because this house is just too small...period!~
    Thanks all!!

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