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Thread: housing help?

  1. #46
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    Lol. We are all talking to ourselves. My concern is that she said she moved back to NJ & the relationship wasn't monogamous. Did someone end the relationship & she moved back w Dad? Did it end & now she has to go back & tell this guy she's pregnant? Oh Lord...I'll shut my face already.
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  2. #47
    Registered User Nana2two's Avatar
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    I'm just all confused. Last time i knew she was Living with her dad and his girlfriend and ash and her hubby were having problems. I think he worked in a casino or something.
    Never knew they got divorced. I have been outta the loop. Now pregnant. Wish you the best of luck. I was a single mom at 17. My daughter is almost 27 now and ended a 10 year relationship and has 2 sons 8 and 4 works full time and goes to nursing school. She finds it very hard to juggle things and the father is 100% in the boys life and i help her when i can. But she still struggles.Most states have what they call Women"s Pregnancy centers, they offer alot to help out. But its time to get off your butt and look for these services and find a job like everyone says.It's great that your asking questions, but useless if you just read them and do nothing.
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  3. #48
    Registered User stinkbug's Avatar
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    This whole mess just makes me sad......

    And I thank God every day for the young woman who was in this situation and chose adoption so my dd and her family now have a wonderful baby girl thay they can provide a good stable life for. the birth mom was in a very similar situation (at 27) and knew she was in over her head and could not keep struggling AND support a child. Adoption IS an option.....being a grown up doesn't always mean being a martyr, it means doing what's best for the baby. This has been going on for years...no job, quit a job, move, get a job, live with family, live with boyfriend, divorce? no job, move again.....

    sigh.....I don't see a baby magically fixing all that.
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  5. #49
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    Is anyone friends here with her on FB? Where did she go? what is her status there?
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  6. #50
    Registered User Nana2two's Avatar
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    She was on my facebook but that is when i had my old account.Is this new guy the same guy she was contacting through Facebook while her and her now ex was living with her dad?
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  7. #51
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    Thinking we might be getting way too personal now.
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  8. #52
    Registered User Nana2two's Avatar
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    Well whatever is going on .I wish her the best of luck. I think many of the concerned and caring FV peeps have stepped up and showed her love and support in many ways starting way back when. Maybe this is her way of crying out for help. Being a mother myself i was giving that option to give my daughter up and im so glad i didn't. But i was lucky to have a job at age 16 ,finished my school years and both my parents and my sibblings. My parents provided a roof over our head. But i bought all the diapers and formula and all her other needs. 27 years ago they just didn't have the programs they do now.Back then parents and other didn't talk about sex like i did with my daughter and my stepdaughter now. Just a sad situation.. So im stepping out of this and will just read, because everyone has voiced there opinion but only she knows what she wants.
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  9. #53
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missourimom View Post
    Thinking we might be getting way too personal now.

    Haven't said anything she didn't post on a public forum.
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  10. #54
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    Speaking as an adopted child myself, there are times when the best thing for the child is giving it up to a family that can raise it in a better social or economic environment.

    If you got pregnant once, you can get pregnant again, and in a few more years you could be in a much BETTER place in your own life to be raising a child than you are now. You're still very young, after all.

    I'm not saying you *should* give the child up, Ashley - but I am saying you should *consider* the idea from the perspective of what will give the child the best life possible. Because if you think about it only in terms of what *you* want, as opposed to what's best for the child, then you're definitely not yet ready to be a Mom.

    Give it some thought hon, you know cea and I only wish you the best.
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  11. #55
    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    oh well I pm'd this to her
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  12. #56
    Registered User stinkbug's Avatar
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    Thank you Greebo!
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  13. #57
    Registered User AnW819's Avatar
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    I'm here.. It's just a lot of Posts. Many not helpful n hurtful comments. I will respond when I read all them.
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  14. #58
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    Default While some may be hurtful...

    i think most of them were to try and help you realize that there are things you must do....it sometimes takes other people looking in that have unbiased opinions to tell the truth....

    Most of the information i read in this thread i would consider very helpful...

    My opinion on this is..

    You are pregnant...You have no income....you have no permanent place to call home...

    Somethings gotta give because you cannot bring a child into this world and expect other people to support it...
    So you need to get a job asap...like yesterday...anything that is out there...shoveling poop if need be...I go to a job everday where i am punched, kicked, bitten and screamed at....why? I have a family at home that needs a roof over their head and food in their bellies....

    I personally would stay at your dads for as long as you can....even after the baby is born...I understand that your dad and you had complications the last time you lived with him...it is his house and if he allows you to stay there than you must play by his rules...suck it up and do what needs to be done...

    The boyfriend...is another whole story and i am not gonna go there...things happen...

    I don't know you at all and am not going to pass judgement on you...Babies are a blessing from heaven! I love my babies so very very very much and i thank God everyday for allowing me to have them... However you have been given a huge blessing from heaven so please please do whatever is necessary to ensure this child has a fair chance in this world....You can do it! Remember if things get hard and you don't feel like picking yourself up remember your baby is counting on you....It's up to you...
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  15. #59
    Registered User Nishu's Avatar
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    Well, I didn't want to be the first person to suggest adoption seeing as how I have no experience in it, but I don't think you should rule anything out. Adoption is, imo, one of the most selfless acts of heroism that a parent can do for a child they can't provide for. Take it for what it's worth, an opinion from a stranger.

    I know you want to be a mom, but honey you are in so much trouble right now. You've apparently made no progress between the last time we talked to you and now. You've been staying with family? Have you been working? Have you been saving any money at all?

    I never know how to respond to your posts Ashley because I honestly do care about you and I think you're a sweet person, but you ask for advice and you don't take it. You never seem to get ahead. You're just constantly trying to dig yourself out of one mess after another. I don't even know what to say anymore because you never take the advice you ask for.

    Good luck, girl.
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  16. #60
    Registered User Momto5RN's Avatar
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    you have to realize that less than a year ago you posted several times about issues , you were upset with people when you got responses you didnt like .

    your post about your marraige ending was was mid to end of march - you kind of dissappeared at least to those that are not your FB friend -then you came back less then 11 months later saying you are temp staying with dad - then suddenly as you came back are just finding out you are pregnant .

    If my numbers add up you couldnt have lived with this new guy for a year as i believe you said, even if he walked in the same day wayne walked out . And even if it is close to a year you jumped from one realtionship right to the next really quick -plus you say its not exclusive but he is all into fatherhood 100%.

    imagine you were watching a TV show and this was the story line - you would be thinking there are too many things missing or something . what is up with this .

    every detail is not our business or right to know but its hard to guide someone with messing pieces . especially regarding the job housing situation .

    what happened the jobs were lost -will it affect future jobs ( laid off company closed-fired etc )

    what happened with where you lived before this- did lease end or were you made to leave for not paying rent - can make a huge difference in where you will be able to live next .

    we cannot really help you if we really dont know the whole story - because whatever we suggest we are told is no good for this or that reason .

    i dont think its because people are not happy for your happiness in having this baby you were told you could never have - but just knowing you will be a great mom is not enough and its time to face a deeper reality .

    The reality doesnt take away from the joy - but without the reality the joy can just crash and burn sooner or later . And its 100% harder once the baby is here .

    Maybe a post that says i am pregnant - i am scared but here is my plan of actions to make it happen any suggestions to make it work would not get as many this is the reality type of posts

    You werent here but last month both my husband and son were unexpectedly laid off - i work PT and can only work PT due to my health .and my work was real slow for the past few months prior to the lay off .

    when i posted about it i included a plan of action - i think that prevented alot of people posting to me cut off cell turn off cable dont eat out ( we dont anyway ) and alot of other posts that didnt really apply to me and my situation because i had already explained the plan and the where's and whys .

    so maybe a plan of action gone over with babies father first and then explained to us would minimize alot of things you find upsetting or that might make you feel you need to defend yourself.

    but saying i need a place to live .. well we all do - but since theres not public housing available what is your plan of action . because theres no magic wand to make it happen .


    its not that people arent happy you are happy, its that they are concerned and probably a bit confused too.

    when i was pregnant with my first child i didnt get a ton of woo hoos from friends and i 24 i was married-we had a roof over our heads we both had decent jobs - but had no real savings etc as he was a surprise - but since i was only married 3 months and they thought that was too soon , after the initial congrats many questioned how we planned to do it and that was knowing how frugal i had always been even as a teen ,

    You have received exciting news- so let the reality based planning begin .
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