Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
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  1. #1
    Registered User qtkitty's Avatar
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    Default Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

    I saw this on a diaper board posted by a pregnant woman who saw it on a pit bull board, the original poster got flamed pretty good but to pregnant women these guidlines are only sooooooo true!!

    Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

    I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

    1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.

    2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.

    3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

    4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

    5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.

    6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

    7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticket master. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

    8 ) Like everything else is life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents’ home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

    9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

    10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

  2. #2
    Registered User grneyegrl's Avatar
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    wow i can see why she got flamed. that being said i have only touched a pg tummy with permission and have yet have anyone say no. i always say congrats and ask how i can help. and have yet to how up to view any birth.. dont want to see.

    i bet this women didnt get much help for her family.. bye the way.. my mother refers to her one and only grand son as her baby and the mom doesnt mind...in fact my sil and mom are good friends more mother daughter .

  3. #3
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    I totally agree with everything said on that list. I felt that during pregnancy large numbers of people felt it was ok to ask personal questions and touch me when they were not invited to do so!!! I also had people telling me how I would feel at different times (you will be so happy at such and such time, etc.) I found it to be absolutely obnoxious. I think that the list is a bit in-your-face, but I agree with it one hundred percent.

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    I agree with everything on that list and I have never been pregnant. Commonsense never goes out of style.

  6. #5
    Master Dollar Stretcher aka AmyBob AmyMCGS's Avatar
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    I agree 100% with that list!

    #2 is a pet peeve of mine. I HATE it when various relatives refer to my children as "my baby" (in reference to themselves). I always want to say uuummmm, no, that's actually MY baby you're referring to.

  7. #6
    McD
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    Agree 100%. Irks me every time my mother, mother-in-law, etc refers to Wesley as her baby. Um no, he is mine, I am raising him, he is your GRANDSON, kthanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by julieb View Post
    I agree with everything on that list and I have never been pregnant. Commonsense never goes out of style.
    Same here

  9. #8
    Registered User annymoll's Avatar
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    I don't make a fuss over pregnant women. I could care less. I wait for the baby, say it's cute, congrats , etc. That seems to pacify them.(I never call my g-kids my baby. They are the angels, the princes, the princess, the adored ones.)

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    Registered User YankeeMom's Avatar
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    AMEN! I'm passing that on

  11. #10
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    I agree with some of the things mentioned but she comes across as rude. I have had 4 children myself yet was never threatened by someone refering to my child as "her baby". The "privilege of seeing the child"? C'mon. You're pregnant which is wonderful but it's not the second coming...

  12. #11
    Registered User Lora88's Avatar
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    Oh give me a break as the mother of 4 I find her attitude rude and nasty She comes across as if she is the only person to ever give birth If she was my relative I would tell her to go jump in the lake

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    Registered User YankeeMom's Avatar
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    What does being a mother of four have to do with anything? I have four & find it hilarious

  14. #13
    McD
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    What I found rude and nasty was when complete strangers would touch my belly, tell me that I absolutely had to have more kids, that I had to breast-feed and the best was when people foundout he had a collapsed lung they asked me what I did to him.

    Seems like common sense and courtesy flies out the window whenever a woman is pregnant.

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    i think the rudeness factor comes into play when people feel that pregos are a circus display "wow look she's prego! let's go touch & tell her things she already knows!"

    i mean c'mon. seriously. some people don't mind being touched, others do. i would expect friends/family to KNOW that about you and even acquaintances, to a point... or at least ASK!

    now about telling you "how happy you'll be when" shut up! I'll figure it out myself. everyone's experiences are different - even emotionally. what makes one mom glow might make another ill (think diaper moments).

    and then there's the biggest peeve of all: telling you HOW to rear your child. be it feeding, sleeping, playing, disciplining, etc.
    Isn't that what moms, sisters, close friends are for anyway? And at least they're curteous enough to WAIT for you to ask! (ok, most of the time)


    some women have a great pregnancy, while others have a miserable one.
    we're not freaks or entertainment pieces, pregos are people too.

    and it's my choice if i wanna wear "wide load" on my tshirt w/out rude comments!

  16. #15
    Registered User Jayne's Avatar
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    Although I agree with most of what she said, pregnant woman also need to show some restraint when announcing their pregnancy, alot of couples are struggling with infertility and it hurts when you hear about anothers pregnancy

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