Sick Of people...!!!!!!!!

**redbug29** · 04-12-2008, 12:37 PM

Okay I know that we all have talked about this before, but I need to

rant a little bit... I am so sick of people telling me I'm crazy for wanting and trying to have another baby... I have three wonderful kids an

d we want to try for another girl...
Even my sisters tell me I'm nuts... I don't even tell my dad for the fact that he has always been against me getting/having everything including my dog.. I AM 29 YEARS OLD WHY CAN'T I HAVE ANOTHER BABY IF I WANT TO, I WORK 30 HRS A WEEK, MY HUSBAND 40 HRS. But then as I calm down, why do I feel the need to listen to these people around me. We (my hubby and I) should do what makes US happy, Right?
Sorry guess I'm just looking for some validation....

thanks for reading

Tiffany

**Marie78** · 04-12-2008, 12:56 PM

I think you should do what you feel comfortable doing. I haven't felt ready to have any kids yet and I'm 29. I feel the opposite pressure as you do from family. Mine wonders when they will have some grandkids

LOL. I don't listen to my family either, I listen to myself. If you feel ready to try for #4 I would go with your gut feeling to have another baby

.

**[email protected]** · 04-12-2008, 01:39 PM

It's your life. Do what makes you and your husband
happy. Limit what you tell your family about you
and your husband's private marriage matters.

It has been my experience that when you give your
family or friends all the intimate details of your marriage
or other plans that gives them (so they feel) the
license to advise, criticize and judge your decisions.

Stop telling them you and your husband's person
business.

**many houseapes** · 04-12-2008, 01:43 PM

I have been through this MANY times & I say it's your business & other people should just shut up & mind theirs. If you want another child -go for it

I was raised an only child & I hated it - always wanted alot of brothers & sisters. My parents were always giving me grief about having more kids - so....after we had my tubal reversed(big story by itself) & we were expecting #6 they started their "why - you -shouldn't - have- any - more - kids" rants. I finally grew a backbone & told them..."Hey, I am having the family that you denied me as a child". - No one ever bothered me again about it. We now have 10. I am 43 & I would love to have at least 2 more before that department shuts down. Honey, don't listen to all of the negativity - if you try to please other people, you will just make yourself miserable. Hugs.

**dianne9106** · 04-12-2008, 02:08 PM

I agree with what everyone is saying so far. I think for the most part people are a little shy of a large family in these troubled economic times. It's hard enough for some people to get by on what they make taking care of the basics, but when you see some people continuing to have children and they can't afford those basics, people tend to stereo type. I am 36 with two only children - see my siggy- and I wish I could have about 3 more! I waited for different reasons, but it was the right thing for me. You have to decide what the right thing for you is. But a quick question and yes it's nosy. Is your family being busybodies or are there already economic stresses in place at the present? Meaning though you work part time and your husband full time, can you afford to have another child right now without going into further debt or not be able to get out of the debt you are in (if any) comfortably? Best Wishes!

**santoria** · 04-12-2008, 04:24 PM

thats just plain silly! what business is it of theirs what YOU do with your life.

all my friends (or majority) right now are pregnant with either baby #3, 4 or 5!

go for it!

**COUNTRYBUMPKIN** · 04-12-2008, 04:48 PM

Awwwwww Sweetie, this is not about all of the other people in your lives who are trying to make choices for you and you husband. This is about you and your husband and what you two want to do. If having more children will make you both happy and you are able to emotionally and financially swing it, then so be it! There are alway's going to be other's who are going to try to put their "two cents" in and you have got to just let it in one ear and out the other. It amazes me that so many people will try to run others lives when they cannot even run their own lives. Just learn to take a deep breath and let it all go. It is of no use to get upset because you are only hurting your own wellbeing. Good Luck to you and your dh. HUGZ, Lynn

**redbug29** · 04-12-2008, 05:32 PM

Thanks for the encouragement ladies, ....but to answer dianne's question about finances... We are of lower income, but we have very little debt, morgage and about $400.00 on a very low interest rate CC. The only assistance I get is WIC. Otherwise we make our bills every month...My family, (sisters, Mom and Dad) are in my opinion all very materialistic, They all have hugh houses brand new cars and a mountain of debt.. We Live comfortably don't spend alot on things we don't need and our kids have clothes of their back and food in their stomachs.... All in all I may be

crazy but Hey at least I have company

...... And no I don't think your nosey, LOL

Thanks
Tiffany

**erstbrmom** · 04-12-2008, 05:54 PM

I'm all for as many kids as you can comfortably afford. But as you just stated you receive taxpayer assistance in the form of WIC. Maybe your family is just worried about your future because of your financial situation and the fact you rely on taxpayer assistance to feed the children you already support.

**sixfreds** · 04-12-2008, 06:11 PM

This is such a personal issue, if you want one more it is no ones business!! If you wanted 5 more still noones business!!
It is a decision to be made by you and your husband that's it noone else gets a say.

Good luck!
Eileen

**Jamauk** · 04-12-2008, 06:56 PM

Tiffany,
As everyone has said, I think if you and your hubby want another child and have worked out the finances (let's face it, no one can ever afford to have children, no matter how many, right!?) Then I say go for it. As for your family - you stated they were fairly materialistic - they probably can't fathom the fact that you would rather have more kids instead of a bigger house.

My friends can't understand how we're going to afford a third (and probably a fourth) child. Because we choose not to spend money on frivilous things, they assume we can't afford them - which in their minds translates to us not being able to afford more children. It drives me crazy!

**IntlMom** · 04-12-2008, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Jamauk

My friends can't understand how we're going to afford a third (and probably a fourth) child. Because we choose not to spend money on frivilous things, they assume we can't afford them - which in their minds translates to us not being able to afford more children. It drives me crazy!

Actually, it's funny, we are in the same situation, but backwards!

All 3 of our children were internationally adopted....THINK LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY!!! (verrry expensive) However, we can afford it because we don;t have toys and "things". No boat, no camper, no 4-wheel drive toys, my kids have a few toys, and garage sale clothing. We don;t have debt and live below our means. Our friends don;t understand why we don;t live like "everyone else" since we have "must" have money.........I don;t even bother telling them that "we live like no one else, so later we can live like no one else!"

KWIM?

**Jamauk** · 04-12-2008, 08:20 PM

Tracy,
I know *exactly* what you mean! In the midst of an international adoption ourselves (and did you see the donations are going up in a lot of the provinces?AAHH!!) we totally get how expensive that is!

We live well below our means and my friends just don't get it. A lot of my friends think that because of DH's job, we must be rolling in money. We're not. The airline industry just isn't what is used to be back in the 80's. We have a very comfortable living, but what's more important to us is that we're going to have a very comfortable retirement. Unfortunately a lot of people these days are thinking that far ahead.

Ok - back to the regularly schedule post - (sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread!)

**ubumartin** · 04-12-2008, 08:49 PM

I think you should do what is right for you and your family. It is not anyone's decision but yours. I don't see a problem with you recieving WIC. You work and so does you husband and if your income qualifies you then it is nobody's business. You do not have to be destitute to fall under the guidelines. I never needed it but friends of mine did and they were very hard workers and took care of all of their financial obligations.

**happimommi** · 04-12-2008, 09:39 PM

Having children is a decision that is between you and your husband, and no one else should be making you feel bad about your decision. We had to pay for expensive fertility drugs to get #4 and it was worth every penny. Children are a blessing and if you want to have that blessing, good for you!