Bearer of Bad News

**fixer** · 12-10-2008, 01:31 PM

I priced out what tires and brakes will cost for Dw's car today. I know when I tell her I will get,"OMG you have got to be kidding". Every time something is needed, I get treated as though I am buying new golf clubs. I am a good shopper and put used tires for ten dollars a piece on my car. She needs better than that since hers is the vehicle we count on for long road trips. I am just tired of being the bad guy. Does anyone else have this reaction or give this reaction?

**justpeachy92** · 12-10-2008, 02:05 PM

I am honestly one of those people that wants a rough idea of what new tires will cost me on a car before I buy the car. Though I will admit to occasionally of those OMG reactions. A couple of months ago my husband backed into the trailer thingy at my bil's house that is used to haul dirt bikes and gokarts to races. He broke the rear window on the minivan and put a dent in the frame. When the glass guy came and fixed it he told me we were lucky he got the rear window (cost to replace was $175), had he broke one of the rear side windows it would have been $1500 to replace.

**LastDragonfly** · 12-10-2008, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by fixer

I priced out what tires and brakes will cost for Dw's car today. I know when I tell her I will get,"OMG you have got to be kidding". Every time something is needed, I get treated as though I am buying new golf clubs. I am a good shopper and put used tires for ten dollars a piece on my car. She needs better than that since hers is the vehicle we count on for long road trips. I am just tired of being the bad guy. Does anyone else have this reaction or give this reaction?

I would get prices from other places and then when you tell her place #1 quoted this: $$$
#2 quoted this:$$$
then say: "here's the best one hon: #3 said this.

Let it be her idea : wink wink

You are not the bad guy--if she pitches a fit, remind her not to shoot the messenger, you do not make up other peoples prices (or you would get them for free), and if she's still mad, hand her the phone book and tell her to find a better price.

Gee does it sound like I MIGHT have had a similar conversation? lol it's true.

**janelane** · 12-10-2008, 02:42 PM

Is it possible you're taking her reaction too personally? I say things like, "you've got to be kidding!" too when things are pricey but I'm not putting the blame on DH at all, and he has never taken it that way.

**[email protected]** · 12-10-2008, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by janelane

Is it possible you're taking her reaction too personally? I say things like, "you've got to be kidding!" too when things are pricey but I'm not putting the blame on DH at all, and he has never taken it that way.

I totally agree with janelane.
Usually when we (meaning us ladies) scream "Oh my God! - You have got to be kidding!" and other sayings such as this it is not about you.

Don't take it personally. She's probably just as frustrated as everyone else about the price of things today.

Great suggestions above though. :cthumbup:

**kittykatstrong** · 12-10-2008, 03:07 PM

I agree, let it be her idea.

**homesteadmamma** · 12-10-2008, 03:10 PM

I have fits and heart failures too. It's not at dh, it's at the expense. I know it isn't his fault in the least. Our winter tires cost us just under $600 and then we had to have the anti-freeze changed which cost us $155.00. I was freaking out. He knew though it wasn't him I was freaking out at.

Now I'm okay because I know the winter tires will help in my driving the van this winter and I've already noticed how much better they are on winter roads.

I don't think she is calling you the bad guy when she gets upset. Woman take it differently than man. Dh just rolls with the punches. Good thing too, because I'm not like that at all.

**fixer** · 12-10-2008, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by janelane

Is it possible you're taking her reaction too personally? I say things like, "you've got to be kidding!" too when things are pricey but I'm not putting the blame on DH at all, and he has never taken it that way.

I admit I may be taking her a bit too personally but, there is disappointment in her voice. I guess it would be worth it if I was getting something neat but even I don't get real excited over new tires. I think the problem is when you are frugal and when someone, in good faith, says you need to spent money, you tend to resent it. The resentment needs to be tempered.

**Darlene** · 12-10-2008, 03:39 PM

Nobody likes having to spend money on things you get no fun out of. She's a grown up now and dissapointment is part of life. Don't take it personally, just let her know it bums you out too, give her a hug and find something fun & free to do to release all that pent up frustration.

**zakity** · 12-10-2008, 04:29 PM

I usually do "Holy cow!" when he tells me the prices of tires and things. He knows that it isn't "him" and it is just the prices.

**fixer** · 12-11-2008, 01:08 AM

Just an update on the situation. I spoke with DW and after the obligatory weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth we worked it out. I made my case and she agreed. I just want to thank everyone who posted here. It is great to get a female opinion sometimes. You guys have so easy. If you truly knew how simple we men were you would be running to world no wait maybe you are, just we men are not bright enough to realize it.

**LastDragonfly** · 12-11-2008, 01:17 AM

Originally Posted by fixer

Just an update on the situation. I spoke with DW and after the obligatory weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth we worked it out. I made my case and she agreed. I just want to thank everyone who posted here. It is great to get a female opinion sometimes. You guys have so easy. If you truly knew how simple we men were you would be running to world no wait maybe you are, just we men are not bright enough to realize it.

I'm glad she agreed with you. Ka-ching Kaching (sound of $$) is a hyper sensitive sound to women. Of course, I never hear it when I'm looking for shoes.....hmmmmmm.

I'm glad it worked out.

**hestlauss** · 12-11-2008, 01:28 AM

It's never pleasant to have to deliver the bad news of how much it'd going to cost but it helps to remember how much that cost is compared to being in an accident. I had a small accident in my employers car last month going less than 15mph and still almost went over a cliff. I was really upset because they said that the mechanic had just checked the vehicle but it couldn't pass the penney in the tread test when I checked after the accident.
I'm sure she appreciates that you are looking out for her safety. Better your budget (or your feelings) being hurt than your family, right.

**UUMomof3** · 12-11-2008, 09:04 AM

Fixer, your wife is a very lucky woman. Not only are you looking out for the safety of your family, you are trying to understand her feelings on stuff too.