Joining accounts etc

**mopples** · 03-30-2009, 08:33 PM

Bit of background - OH and i have been together for coming up to 6 years and married for nearly 1.5 years. I work full time with a regular fortnightly pay cycle. OH works for himself and also various casual jobs so his income is a bit all over the shop.

We have seperate bank accounts and pay some bills seperately and others get split down the middle. For example i pay for my transport to work, all our insurances, and my household appliance shopping adventure, he pays for petrol for the car, our toll account, internet, home phone, pay tv. Bills that we split are electricity, gas, rent and car servicing/registration. It a pretty even split, i think i pay about $60 per fortnight more, but he will pay if we go out for dinner or something. We both then pay for our own debts (loan, credit cards).

Basically i get the bills that are a regular payment and he gets the ones that are easy to put on the credit card and they get paid down when he gets paid.

Our system works well for us. We both know what we get paid and what the bills are and when they are due (OH has probably forgotten).

Now after all of that, I was having a conversation with my mum on the weekend and she seems to think that unless you join all all of your income and expenses into 1 account then you are not working as a team.

My thoughts are that i will not ask him to put a cent towards any debt that i have incurred through my own stupidity...but mum seems to disagree. We do have a joint account, but only i use it.

Anyway what does everyone else think?

**dogmatix** · 03-30-2009, 10:37 PM

I think you're both right. My hubby and I have separate accounts for our personal expenditures AND a joint account for household expenditures.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 03-30-2009, 11:18 PM

If you both are paying into household expenses, then you're sharing the load. Did your mum and dad have a joint account and pay all of the household expenses with that account?

DH and I are the same as you and your OH; we have separate accounts and pay the bills evenly. He makes three times more than I do, but we both bring income into the household and both pay the bills. We work as a team because we both look at the budget, go over what needs to be paid and formulate our action plans to move ahead and become more financially secure than before.

**MisaLady** · 03-30-2009, 11:54 PM

Your mom sounds like mine. She's convinced Jeremy and I should combine accounts and do everything half and half. I LIKE having my own money. I like him having his own money. If one or the other needs money, they can ask the other.

We keep track of our expenses in our heads - it works for us.

Plus, I LOVE buying him a gift with money that I know I earned. Last year, I bought him an Xbox 360 and he was pretty surprised. I like that. I saved for MONTHS for that system and I was so happy to get it for him... I don't think I would've felt the same if we shared money. Maybe it is semantics, but it means a lot to me.

**Greebo** · 03-31-2009, 06:20 AM

I think that you two have to decide what works best for the two of you.

Ceashels and I have done it both ways. We had a joint account for shared living expenses, and separate accounts for our personal amounts, for the first several years. That worked fine, *but* it definitely was not working as a team.

Now we have 1 joint account, and all of our money save a few fixed things, goes there. We have another joint account into which goes our EF money, and a 3rd joint account for our taxes and insurance. We sit down every week and look at where our money is going, and we are, as they say, "all in", 100%.

Either method works - what's more important is that the two of you have a common game plan, to work as husband and wife - as *partners* - for your whole life.

**tigo** · 03-31-2009, 08:44 AM

We each have seperate checking and savings for our personal "blow" money but we have a joint checking and savings that we pay all the household expenses out of. Every month we go over the budget and determine how much each of us will put into the joint account so things are covered.

**fixer** · 03-31-2009, 10:03 AM

We have always had a joint account. It works for us since we never surprise the other with spending. We know that we only spend for the essentials and other purchases are discussed. It can work many ways depending on the individuals. I have always been skeptical, though, when I hear a married person use the term "my money". It is probably a generational thing.

**kellieetter** · 03-31-2009, 10:34 AM

We have joint as well. I wouldn't have it any other way, I have heard stories from friends that have their own accounts about how it turns into a problem. It is all what works best for you!!

**jmd5294** · 03-31-2009, 11:02 AM

Different strokes for different folks! Do what works for you.

DH and I have a joint checking account where all the money goes to start with. I handle all the money/bill paying. Some goes into our savings account (a different acct), and we also have another acct for grocery money, water/sewer/trash bill, car insurance, etc (those things are paid quarterly except for groceries, but we put money in there every month to cover it)

Our "blow" money is a cash allowance that comes out of the main acct once a month. We each get our cash allowance, and when the cash is gone, our allowance is done and we can't spend any more money on stupid stuff.

**Patty A** · 03-31-2009, 11:35 AM

I think you have to do what works for you....
IMHO....I have always said that when your married you SHARE, its no longer yours or mine, its ours.... Having said that we have one account.
It doesn't matter who is working to bring home the pay check, you both still earn the pay. The wife and mother as a SAHM is earning her way too!
With the work at home, care of a house, family, and everything that a wife and mother does she also earns that pay check. When both of you work that is an added bonus, but you still work together to pay things and have common goals.

I only worked outside the home for a short 5 years, as we have a bunch of family move in with us that couldn't find work. My husband and I was the only support they had, and I quickly found work when they couldn't. That money was earned by everyone in the house hold as without the help that had been done for me at home I could have NEVER worked outside the house and been able to keep up at home.
We put all the money in one account, pay all the bills, and play equally with what is left over. Needless to say, there isn't much left when you pay the bills, but its still the easiest way for us to do things.

**forHISglory** · 03-31-2009, 11:37 AM

It's joint for us, as we mingle all parts of our lives. We each get $5 a month for whatever, but otherwise our money is just that: our money.

I don't look down on any other system. If something is working for you, by all means keep it up!

**mopples** · 03-31-2009, 07:42 PM

Its good to hear other peoples set ups. I think in a couple of years, once OH settles down with his work and gets a steadier job with a regular income and I have paid off my debts, we will look at pooling everything.

Until then we will just keep ploding along how we are. OH tells me as soon as he gets paid and the amounts. He checks if there are any bills (usually only the telephone/cable and electricity as they are the only manual bills that come in) that need paying then disburses the rest to his cards and keeps a little spending money, again he tells me how he is splitting things and the balances on his cards. BTW he also knows the amount i get paid and the amounts of everything i pay, but i think he has probably forgotten it all, but like forgetting the weeks holiday im taking with my mum and aunt next week which we have discussed about half a dozen times.

We both have gmail accounts so i have set up a shared "household" calander that has all our bills listed and they get a notation (well they should - something for me to remember) once its paid and who paid it.

**Michelle** · 03-31-2009, 08:20 PM

I think you should do whatever works best for the two of you. Not every situation is the same, so it's hard to compare and do what others do. When I was working, Dave & I made the same salary (well he made $1K more than me), and we just split everything. It was just easier that way.