men vs women speak
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  1. #1
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    Default men vs women speak

    Is it really this simple?

    A Women's Guide To Male English

    -- What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

    -- I'm hungry = I'm hungry

    -- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

    -- I'm tired = I'm tired

    -- What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

    -- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

    -- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

    -- I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A Man's Guide To Female English

    -- We need to talk = I need to complain

    -- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to

    -- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

    -- We need = I want

    -- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

    -- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

    -- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    -- You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

    -- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    -- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period

    -- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

    -- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... (not the women here)

    -- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white (not the women here)

    -- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

    -- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

    -- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive (TOTALLY not the women here)

    -- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

    -- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

    -- Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

    -- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

    -- Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

    -- Yes = No

    -- No = No

    -- Maybe = No

    -- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

    -- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house (not the women here)

    -- Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

    -- Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

    -- All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? (not the women here)

  2. #2
    Moderator nuisance26's Avatar
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    ~I'm not a guy so I can't comment on what they may really be thinking when they say what they say but I will repost the girl sayings that are true for me.

    -- We need to talk = I need to complain

    -- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to

    -- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

    -- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

    -- Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

    -- No = No

    -- Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.


    I tend to say exactly what I mean when talking to DH because men can't seem to take hints. I don't like wasting my time trying to get him to understand what I want or need so I usually go direct. Of course then I don't have the out of telling myself that maybe he just didn't understand my hint if he says no or reacts badly to what I tell him I need.~

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    Registered User Greebo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nuisance26 View Post
    I tend to say exactly what I mean when talking to DH because men can't seem to take hints. I don't like wasting my time trying to get him to understand what I want or need so I usually go direct.
    Ah, good - he's getting you trained!

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    Registered User fernykins's Avatar
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    funny........some of it is so true
    Fern

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    Registered User JanieD's Avatar
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    My favorite...
    I hear a noise = I noticed you were asleep.

    Thanks for sharing these! SO FUNNY & I actually agree w/many of them!

  7. #6
    Registered User pollypurebred39's Avatar
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    My personal favorite


    -- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

  8. #7
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    -- Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

  9. #8
    Registered User monkeywrangler71's Avatar
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    I try to say what I mean, but I don't like to be pushy - so I end up doing these:

    -- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    -- Yes = No
    -- No = No
    -- Maybe = No

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