UGH ! Please help with Family Visitors

**porembam** · 11-23-2010, 01:59 PM

Oct . 18th I sent an invite to my brothers family to come up on Thanksgiving with his family and stay the long week-end. I phrased it that they would come up on Thursday to join us for dinner but today 11/23 they sent an email they will be here tomorrow.
I don't want them here on Thanksgiving morning because there is alot of work to get dinner ready and they would not be helpful ( they would make a mess with eating both breakfast and lunch )
I just want to scream - I have other people coming on Thanksgiving also.I want them to show up at dinner time and everyone just enjoy themselves
What do I do ?

**dcompton** · 11-23-2010, 02:07 PM

I'm no expert on dealing with company since I never have people in for meals. But I would make breakfast and lunch simple, and break out the paper plates and plastic cutlery- it would help keep you sane. Maybe a breakfast casserole prepared tonight and baked in the morning, or cold cereal and toast? Sandwiches for lunch. Set out the fixings like a salad bar and let them make their own.

Whatever you do, make it as easy on yourself as possible. They'll have a big dinner later in the day.

**CrazyCat** · 11-23-2010, 02:08 PM

I'd send him another email and thank him for all the help he just offered on thanksgiving morning. LOL
Remind him of everything you need to get done...and make sure they know there will be no cooked breakfast OR lunch. Just oatmeal.

**CrazyCat** · 11-23-2010, 02:09 PM

I'm not as nice a dcompton....LOL

**savvy_sniper** · 11-23-2010, 02:12 PM

Respond back that you have other plans and arrangements for earlier in the day and that IF they show up early they will be sitting in the car until X time!

P. S. I am not as nice as dcompton either.

MIL keeps trying to pass the holiday meals to me, BUT she wants to dictate who can come to my house. I don't want most of the people in my house that she wants to invite. SO I don't do holiday meals.

MY HOUSE MY RULES OR IT DOESN'T HAPPEN!

**druthb00** · 11-23-2010, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by CrazyCat

I'd send him another email and thank him for all the help he just offered on thanksgiving morning. LOL
Remind him of everything you need to get done...and make sure they know there will be no cooked breakfast OR lunch. Just oatmeal.

Maybe add a list of chores while you're at it

**LynnLC** · 11-23-2010, 02:16 PM

I would tell them arriving early is not possible and give them directions to the local motel. I am not nice at all. Lol.

**porembam** · 11-23-2010, 02:19 PM

Thanks for quick responses
I'm still taking deep breaths. I will get over it
I've done holiday meals since I married 17 years ago and I don't mind but I thought this year I could have a quiet morning.
I love the big dinner and they will stay until Sunday - I will accept my fate
And I agree - cold breakfast and lunch

**Sassyclass** · 11-23-2010, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by CrazyCat

I'd send him another email and thank him for all the help he just offered on thanksgiving morning. LOL
Remind him of everything you need to get done...and make sure they know there will be no cooked breakfast OR lunch. Just oatmeal.

I second that.

Cat

**stinkbug** · 11-23-2010, 02:32 PM

First of all...they are rude. Second, I would make it clear that you do not have arrangements in place for an extra night, but you would be happy to find them and hotel with a nice breakfast bar.
WTH is wrong with people???

**LynnLC** · 11-23-2010, 02:34 PM

You sent them an email stating they could arrive on Thursday and they are arriving Wednesday? That's not fate that's rude.

**Darlene** · 11-23-2010, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by porembam

Thanks for quick responses
I'm still taking deep breaths. I will get over it
I've done holiday meals since I married 17 years ago and I don't mind but I thought this year I could have a quiet morning.
I love the big dinner and they will stay until Sunday - I will accept my fate
And I agree - cold breakfast and lunch

I added the bold print and you can have that quiet morning if you tell them that arriving at that time isn't good for you. Don't need to make excuses just tell him what time to show up.

**porembam** · 11-23-2010, 02:42 PM

After reading posts from people who are not involved with my family - I think you are giving great advice.
After work tonight I will call my brother and let him know that it would be better if they come on Thursday .
I will let everyone know how it went.
Thanks

**Darlene** · 11-23-2010, 03:12 PM

Thursday, not in morning

How far away are they coming from?

**HappyMama** · 11-23-2010, 03:21 PM

Pam,

Have a great dinner with family and friends , know you already made your decision, but in case you change your mind or decide to have them early Make a game plan/
I would make homemade granola, yogurt, fruit, muffins , and maybe a roast in the Crockpot with rolls and have a buffet lunch and dinner that all can snack on when Wed. and Thur. morning while you all work on dinner.

Blessings and have a good day !