MIL wants to "talk" to us about our problems... HELP!!!

**MrsHutto** · 07-24-2012, 07:08 PM

DH and I are working through some problems. He shared the vanilla version with his parents, for some reason, and my MIL informed me that she wants to come over tonight to "talk" with the two of us. Isn't that the job of our marriage counselor? I have all ideas this "talk" is going to infuriate me. Would you be comfortable with and/or allow this? Am I overreacting?

**Jamielane** · 07-24-2012, 08:06 PM

I would think this is none of her business and should butt out .

**larabelle** · 07-24-2012, 08:09 PM

No I would not go...I agree that it is none of her business.

**Momto5RN** · 07-24-2012, 08:39 PM

i would probably go just to set the record straight on some things that may have been told from just one side . but it wouldnt be a long vs and i would be prepared for it to not be all sweetness.

**frugalwarrior2** · 07-24-2012, 08:53 PM

Nope. I would make a joke out of it and say no thanks anyway.

**cheles2kids** · 07-24-2012, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by Jamielane

I would think this is none of her business and should butt out .

My thoughts exactly.

If you feel the need to not just leave things 'hanging' as they are, you could always call her up & tell her that you appreciate her concern but you feel strongly this is something that needs to be taken care of between you, your husband & your counselor.

**FrabjousDay** · 07-24-2012, 09:28 PM

It depends on the type of relationship the two of you have with her, and what type of person she is. In my marriage, I would be comfortable talking with parents because we have a loving/respectful/close relationship with them and they are capable healthy communication. I also know that their intention would come from a place of caring. My in-laws, no way. We are not especially close, and his family enjoys "drama". If it doesn't feel comfortable to you, I would thank her for her concern, but decline the invitation.

**leighcat** · 07-24-2012, 09:38 PM

It depends on how your inlaws are. My mom was really good talking to myself and ex dh when we had problems but she is objective and doesn't pick sides. My ex would call her himself when we had problems. My ex inlaws are batpoop crazy so no way would I want their "help" lol!

**MrsHutto** · 07-24-2012, 09:42 PM

She and I get along fine, but I know she's going to play Dr. Phil with us, pointing out our shortcomings as each others spouse. I just don't see where that's her business. My own mother would NEVER dream of interjecting her two cents, where our marital issues are concerned.

**larabelle** · 07-24-2012, 09:51 PM

You don't need Dr. Phil...sounds like DRAMA to me...........

**Spirit Deer** · 07-24-2012, 09:52 PM

Then I would respectfully decline. And mention to your husband he should not be discussing private concerns with anyone but you and/or a counselor. Although of course that's probably not going to go anywhere.

**MrsHutto** · 07-24-2012, 09:55 PM

I did call DH and tell him he needs to address the issue and decline her offer. He seemed to agree with me. Now, however, I will have to deal with the awkwardness that accompanies her butt-hurt feelings.

**nodmicks** · 07-24-2012, 10:20 PM

I would have decline also. I love my MIL and talk to her about most anything. I'd still decline! Dh would too since his mom is more likely to stick up for me.

**Nadders11** · 07-24-2012, 11:18 PM

I'd decline. It's no ones business.

**peanut** · 07-25-2012, 01:23 AM

As a MIL myself, I'd say this is none of her business. If my children come to me and want individual/private advice, that's one thing. But even then, if I sense a marital issue, I always try to give the absent spouse the benefit of a doubt as much as possible. They are not there to defend themselves. I realize talking to me is often emotional venting due to poor communication skills within the marriage. I suggest counseling with a real counselor/psychologist if things get out of control.

Tell your MIL you have other plans and thank her for her concern.