budgeting with a live in boyfriend
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Registered User frugal is fun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    924
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    17

    Default budgeting with a live in boyfriend

    my boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in together. I own my home (well, I pay an affordable mortgage on my home), live within my means and save for things like retirement, college, rainy day etc. I can afford what I have but not many extras. If I didn't save as much as I do, I would have more spending money but that's another issue.

    So theoretically I can afford everything as is. How do most people figure out the how much each contributes to the "family" spending. Is it by who can afford what, is it 50/50, is it a percentage of each other's salary etc? We haven't talked about this yet as its just talk right now but I would like to get an idea of how others do it so I can be prepared when the time comes.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    46
    Posts
    460
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    13

    Default

    I would split "common" bills 50/50. Since you own the home, use an average rent number for this, electric, gas, cable and food are all common. I would ask him to contribute half of those things.

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Age
    33
    Posts
    156
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    10

    Default

    Since you pay an affordable mortgage... I would split 50/50 many of the costs. All usual utilities... if you live in a place where you pay for pest control, trash pickup, emergency services, etc., you should split those as well. Also, do some research on eviction law in your area in case you break up. Some jurisdictions make it hard for you to force him out - and not that you want to right now or you wouldn't be moving in, but you should know your rights and abilities. Him paying toward it can make it seem like he's a real renter and that he deserves the 30 day or 90 day eviction... etc.

    Other people will skew this depending on the difference of your incomes. Two people wear things out faster so it's important to charge even if "you are handling it by yourself now" - 2 people walking on the carpet wears it out twice as fast... 2 people flushing the toilet wear it out twice as fast... etc.

    I know people who split by the ratio of income because that's really how it would be if they were married. It would not be a bad idea to look at both your finances and decide what you would do specifically if you were married and it was all one pot. Money is the biggest thing people fight about, and you ought to make sure you're on the same page. If you're moving in, you ought to both be honest open about the money even if you still keep separate accounts, you both need to know what's going on with them.

  4. Remove Advertisements
    FrugalVillage.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4
    Registered User Ayanka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Flanders, Belgium
    Age
    32
    Posts
    895
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    Have a chat with your boyfriend about what he is expecting. Maybe he just expects to pay 50/50 of the bills and then I would just accept it. Is he aware of your savings etc? If not having an open discussion about it before you move in might be a good idea. Making some kind of family budget (what does he expect to be paying for x) might not be a bad idea either. It doesn't have to be detailed (ours was a sketch out of our head) but it gives you an idea of the expenses.

  6. #5
    Registered User frugal is fun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    924
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    17

    Default

    I do plan to talk about this BEFORE we actually make the move, just wasn't sure how to approach it, meaning whats "fair". He is aware of all of my savings, not specific amounts but he knows I pay into a 401K, college, etc., and I am aware of his financial status as well. We are at different places as far as what we both have, I have more, he has much less. He is responsible with paying bills and doesn't have debt but he works for himself and jobs and income are "spotty" to say the least.

    I know love is blind so I'm trying to have my eyes somewhat open to reality

    when I was married my then husband was responsible for the mortgage and I was responsible for all the bills and groceries. I honestly don't remember what we did as far as entertainment. I think it was whoever still had money left paid for the "extra" stuff and I think we both saved equally.

  7. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    107
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    8
    Rep Power
    11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by frugal is fun View Post
    my boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in together. I own my home (well, I pay an affordable mortgage on my home), live within my means and save for things like retirement, college, rainy day etc. I can afford what I have but not many extras. If I didn't save as much as I do, I would have more spending money but that's another issue.

    So theoretically I can afford everything as is. How do most people figure out the how much each contributes to the "family" spending. Is it by who can afford what, is it 50/50, is it a percentage of each other's salary etc? We haven't talked about this yet as its just talk right now but I would like to get an idea of how others do it so I can be prepared when the time comes.
    It is amazing how much just one other person will add to the bills. More hot water is used, more garbage is produced, more electricity, food, more, more, and more. So, while you can afford everything as is, nothing will remain as is when your boyfriend moves in.

    I've always liked the Gail Vaz Oxlade method of dividing up the bills according to income. So that it is proportional to each person's income and no one is left with nothing after paying the bills. 50/50 is not usually the fairest way to deal with money in a relationship scenario IMHO.

    Good luck no matter how you to choose to proceed. These life changes are what makes life exciting, no?

  8. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Quebec, Canada
    Age
    31
    Posts
    75
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    8

    Default

    I moved in at my bf's house one year ago and I've only paid the groceries for now. Not that I tried to pay more but he doesn't want to for now (I'm a student). We'll probably pay 50/50 when we'll buy our house.

  9. #8
    Registered User frugal is fun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    924
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    17

    Default

    thank you to all that responded. My income is considerably more than his, as of right now anyway. If he moved in with me it includes moving to a different state and there is just more money in the area I'm in so I "hope" he would have better earning potential. but I think to start, the percentage idea would work best.

  10. #9
    Registered User thriftyramblings's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    11
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    I think the best course of action is to talk things out and decide who pays what. Since you earn considerably more than him, then maybe it would be better if you talk about how you will split the percentage of the fees you have to pay each month.

  11. #10
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,916
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    21

    Default

    I made quite a bit more when my girlfriend moved in with me, we still split it 50/50. That amount was less than what she was paying prior to moving in with me, so she was happy with that amount. It was no change to me because my roommate moved out right before my girlfriend moved in. Some couples want the ratio based on income, some don't.

    It's all about whatever you two come up with together. Simply have a discussion about what the two of you want, then come to a conclusion.

Similar Threads

  1. DD's boyfriend
    By justann in forum Family
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-20-2013, 11:19 PM
  2. My boyfriend just beat me up
    By emortis13 in forum Support
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-25-2007, 09:17 PM
  3. My boyfriend just beat me up
    By emortis13 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-10-2007, 06:05 PM
  4. Grandma's Boyfriend
    By Julia Kimber in forum Support
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-08-2006, 03:19 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •