Public Shaming ~ happened to you??
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  1. #1
    Registered User larabelle's Avatar
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    Angry Public Shaming ~ happened to you??

    Scenario: My mother sent several texts to family members including my brother in which she berated my brother.

    Background: My mother and several family members are angry with my brother as he has not been to visit our home state in over 5 years. I could really care less. He keeps in contact by phone and he even offered to fly my parents to his location over the Christmas holiday.

    My initial reaction: Upon receiving the first text I asked her to please delete me from the text group as I did not feel comfortable in receiving them. In the past I have found that it is useless to confront her behavior ie tell her the texts were inappropriate. My mother's response was to tell me she would not do so (delete me from the text group) and that the texts would continue.

    My action in response: 1.) I changed my phone number as my phone (trac phone prepaid) does not have call blocking feature. 2.) I sent my mother a letter telling her my cell phone number has been changed and she can reach me on my home phone which is a landline without texting capabilities. 3.) I am investigating prepaid phone carriers which will allow me to block calls, in case it comes to that, anyone know of a good one?

    Has anyone experienced this with family members? I already had to defriend her on facebook due to similar drama.
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
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  2. #2
    Registered User larabelle's Avatar
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    By the way this is the first time I have seen her target a family member on text.
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
    New to me vehicle

  3. #3
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    No, I haven't experienced this. I would do the same as you though.

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  5. #4
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    Can you show any support to your brother without adding to the drama?
    Debt: -$60 000
    Savings: $43 200
    Net total: -$16 800

  6. #5
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    Thats just kinda weird and not very motherly IMHO. I can see why he isnt rushing there. My Dmom is a blabbermouth and feel the need to share everything but I have mentioned to her that all comments arent public knowledge. Part of that is her age.
    There is no malice behind it.

  7. #6
    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    Is this kind of thing typical of your mom? If not, maybe there's an underlying health issue. I know you said she's never targeted someone in a text, but if she's done similar things using other methods, then maybe it's just her norm.

    I would to the same as you and refuse to participate.

  8. #7
    Registered User ilovechocolate's Avatar
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    What Spirit Deer said----if this is unusual behavior for her, she may need to be checked out by her physician. Could be medication interactions, beginnings of cognitive dysfunction, etc.

    But if that's just her personality, then I think you've done the right thing. Refuse to be drawn into it. Try to support your brother. Imagine how he feels....

  9. #8
    Registered User larabelle's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, it is her norm to berate people however I have not seen her take it to this level. I do refuse to be drawn into it. I called and spoke to my brother about it...and we have both deduced it is just "family drama". We are not agreeable to it...but she is in her late 70's and I doubt the behavior is going to change. I find it rather peaceful now that she does NOT have my cell phone number and can not text me. She has not tried to call me on the home phone or if she has, she has not left a message on my answering machine which is good!
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
    New to me vehicle

  10. #9
    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    I have not had this issue, but I do have a TracPhone and you can block numbers if they call you. Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to block texts yet either.
    Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.

    If you're not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You're not going to start using it more by shoving it into a closet.

    Use it up, Wear it out,
    Make it do, Or do without. ~unknown

    Because we, the people, have the power to build a better future. KH

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    blocking sms is next to impossible I think. You can just put everyone you want to block under a person called 'spam' and it will still get it, but you know it's spam.. but come now, it's your mom and brother. can't really block out family forever. this seems like a cry for help more so then anything else.

  12. #11
    Registered User larabelle's Avatar
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    Update: My mother and I have spoken several times via my home phone. I am VERY glad that I changed my cell number and that she does not have the number. No more texts from her and life has been peaceful.
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
    New to me vehicle

  13. #12
    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    That sounds like a reasonable solution. That way you can be in touch and yet protect yourself.

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