Thought on Ex moving in as a tenant... - Page 2
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  1. #16
    Registered User onencgirl's Avatar
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    No way, no how. I'm afraid you'd be buying a whole bunch of trouble you don't need. He needs to 'man up' and take care of his obligations without expecting you to bail him out.

  2. #17
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    I wouldn't do it and I really agree with what Polly said. I would hate having my ex all up in my space. Doesn't he have anyone else he can turn to for some help?

  3. #18
    Registered User erinalexmom's Avatar
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    My ex and I had a crazy relationship also and he contacted me on facebook awhile ago telling me what a mistake he made in giving me up and how he wanted to be my friend and how he still thinks about me. My reply was good luck to you but please leave me alone.
    The thing about toxic relationships is that there are times when they are awsome and its easy to be pulled into that drama because when they are nice or when they are "in love with you" its amazing but the bad times are usually really bad.
    I am a person who knows my limits and I know that he holds a certain attraction for me and so I just avoid him altogether (we have no children together) please dont let him pull you back into the quicksand

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  5. #19
    Registered User frugalfranny's Avatar
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    No comment............but good luck in whatever you decide to do.

  6. #20
    Registered User momof2boys2005's Avatar
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    Sooo I take it that this is thought of as a bad idea...

    Joking aside I really thought about everything. I'm not worried about meeting the man of my dreams & ex ruining that (I do not bring dates around my children EVER & I'm purposely not looking for a partner) or any attraction issues between ex & I (I'm not the slightest bit sexually/emotionally attracted to him anymore) that might suck me in but I do worry about his unrealistic expectations. He seems to think I'm superwoman and is shocked & disappointed when I don't measure up. I so don't want to go there again. Never mind all the valid points that you brought forward regarding DS's feelings & witness to possible negative outcome.

    Thanks for all the feedback and wow 'rereading' my own situation helped the decision too!

  7. #21
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    this is in the category of "NMP" - "not my problem".

    you are not his wife or his mommy. his moving in has the feel of moving in with parents.

    if you need extra cash, take in another boarder.

  8. #22
    Registered User momof2boys2005's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladykemma2 View Post
    this is in the category of "NMP" - "not my problem".

    you are not his wife or his mommy. his moving in has the feel of moving in with parents.

    if you need extra cash, take in another boarder.
    Yeah that's what I was thinking too (not so much the boarder part )!

  9. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by momof2boys2005 View Post
    This isn't a surprise to me since I haven't been recieving any of the court ordered monies that he's to pay monthly nor has he been paying his portion (again court ordered) of daycare or extra curricular. This has been going on for a while now.
    I think this is what the previous poster meant about his reliability.
    He already owes you money that he hasn't paid.
    Do you really think he'll pay if he moves in with you?

    I don't know him, but this sounds like a really bad idea.

  10. #24
    Member Darlene's Avatar
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    Like others, my biggest concern is how this effects your child.
    I think it's high time for ex hubby to man up & sink or swim on his own. I also think it's the best gift you can give him.




  11. #25
    Registered User stinkbug's Avatar
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    He sounds like a master manipulator if he even got you to consider it! Run far and run fast..... (and....ick!)

  12. #26
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    I would be running the other way. Does sound like a manipulator big time. Not only the emotional toll it can have on you and your son. What about the legalities? Would it affect the amount of money you should be getting from him?, since he can say he does xyz at home and takes care of your son when you are away or out.

    I am sure he can find a room to rent or a similar living situation. Which if it worked would be great. Just NOT IN YOUR HOUSE! Just seems he is on the side of desperation right now. It is usually best not to add to any more drama.

  13. #27
    Registered User Luckybustert's Avatar
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    If I wanted out of the relationship enough for him to be an "ex" I certainly don't need him back in my life again. And an "ok'ish" friend does not a good roommate make....I agree with those who advised you to RUN the other way!

  14. #28
    Registered User Libby's Avatar
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    Ok...is it just me here that thinks this but how much maintenance does your home need? He may be there 'offering' to do the work but you're going to be putting a roof over his head, keeping him warm, paying for him to do his laundry, feeding him AND THEN paying for your home repair materials? I don't think that's fair for you - you're then put into and awkward position later on - can he borrow money for gas so he can get to work, can you pick up his fave brand of beer on your way home next time. Has he offered babysitting so you'd have a night out on your own?

    If he really wants to be there for his son...he can still come around and fix your home and offer to take your son out while living under someone else's roof and paying his own bills. For me, actions speak louder then words. So does consistency.

    If you're desiring another tenant - by all means, take the necessary precautions to get one however the whole point of doing so is to make money, no? I have a bad feeling that by going ahead with this awkward arrangement, you're going to open yourself up to a whole new can of worms. His worms.

    Sorry to be so harsh/blunt.

  15. #29
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    And what if he finds a new significant other (or even one-night-stand)? Do you want her to be around your house? Do you want your son to see? What happens if she moves in? Will they both leave at the end of the year? Who will pay for groceries, extra heating, etc.? What happens if their relationship turns toxic, too? Do you want to experience it so closely, like reliving your marriage?

    I suggest you suggest him to find similar living arrangements somewhere else. Good luck!

  16. #30
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    Not a chance. How much maintenance can your home possibly need that is worth a year's rent?

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