Promises, Promises
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  1. #1
    Registered User ktsmama's Avatar
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    Default Promises, Promises

    How do you handle it when your child comes back from their Dad's and says "Daddy said he was going to get me x, y & z, when I grow up." and you know that this will never happen?

    I don't want to hurt my DD's feelings, so I just say ok and try to change the subject.

    Sometimes he just doesn't think before he speaks.

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    I went through the same thing with my children. I just listen to there promises and made sure that if I made a promise to FOLLOW through with them. Now my children are all teenagers and they know the difference. We joke around and say "don't hold your breath" because they know now it will never happen. By me following through they have more respect for me and they understand how hard it was for me.

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    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    I usually just say to my dauhters, "wow, wouldn't that be cool?" and quickly change the subject. Like homemaker 66, I try very hard to always follow through with my promises. My oldest is 11 and already recognizes which parent she can depend on.

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    Registered User Missy's Avatar
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    i am sorry. i was the kid at the end of that situation. I learned wquick i could depend on Mom, and to take everything he said with a grain of salt (and a cup of vinegar, LOL)

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    Registered User inneedofhope's Avatar
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    My ex made some mistakes like that in the beginning, then he found out the ds remembered everthing he said and was ready to hold him to it! I would say to him, "for some reason ds thinks you are getting him x,y,z..". My ex really cares about ds and their relationship is important to him, so he tries to do the right thing.
    One of my close friends went through the broken promises with her dad all through her childhood. It was awful. It made it worse that her mom would be like 'I told you so'.
    I try to be supportive of their relationship, and stay out of the details. I say you need to talk to Dad about that, or You need to talk to Ds about that. I communicate to my ex about ds's feelings when ds can't, though, because he is so young and his dad sometimes needs that insight.

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