The custody drama continues - Page 2
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  1. #16
    Registered User Katybird's Avatar
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    I hope he takes you up on the offer. I bet that carrot of no more support will get his attention. You and your DDs are in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. #17
    Registered User suzysaver's Avatar
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    That carrot will be very tempting for him, you would think he would be just as upset over the whole thing...and maybe willing to stop all this craziness.
    To me it seems he isn't interested in the wellfare of his children, but simply bent on revenge. Good luck with the deal, I hope he bites. This offer will look good on your part...as the only thing you want is your children. Best wishes/ thoughts and prayers.

  3. #18

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    His attorney sent my attorney a letter asking what it would take to settle this out of court.

    Trust me when I tell you this. DO NOT SETTLE OUT OF COURT!

    Should he "down the road" decide to renage on his "promises" you will be up the creek without the proverbial paddle!

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  5. #19

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    They want to settle out of court more than likely because they know you will Cream them! GO THROUGH THE COURTS!!! I can't stress this enough - This way every thing is Court Ordered and he can't renage on Jack! If he does the laws are very specific on what they will do to him.

    AND I would not EVER dream of "signing off" on anyone else's Financial Responsibilites! He has 2 children he helped bring into the world - Let him be responsible for them first and foremost.

  6. #20
    Master Dollar Stretcher aka TraciBob baronmom's Avatar
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    I hope that everything goes well for you. Hang in there!

  7. #21
    Registered User YankeeMom's Avatar
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    KJ, we need that Stink Eye!!

    Karen, prayers & positive thoughts for you and your girls

  8. #22
    Registered User tigo's Avatar
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    Fingers crossed for you (and a big hug) that things will go well. I can't believe a 12 yo is watching the kids. I barely consider that safe for staying home alone at that age (sorry - I am an uber worry wart). As for the financial disclosures - sounds fishy to me. Does he have a gf that is supporting him or something?

  9. #23
    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    No, Tigo, the GF is not supoorting him. He is claiming that he was able to live on that amount of money. I think the judge will ahve some questions as well.

    My newest update is that the Office of the Children's Lawyer has taken on the kids as clients. They will talk to both parents and then spend extended amounts fo time with the girls. Apparently their recommendations holds a lot of weight with the judge. I have my fingers crossed that they will see it my way, and cnanot imagine how things would be otherwise. I have been busy collecting medical and school records all day for the visit tomorrow.

    Thank you all, as always for your support and good wishes.

  10. #24

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    I'm glad the kids Lawyer has gotten involved. That will help, I'm sure. I don't even think it's legal for a 12 year old to watch kids at night here. I just wouldn't stand for it. Something has to be done. I'm sending you best of wishes and I am sure the judge will see it your way. We need KJ and her stink eye to get back!!

  11. #25
    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    I had my meeting with the children's lawyer today - it went pretty well. She is appalled about the childcare arrangements and many other issues. She ad already met with my ex and understood when I said he was abusive and unreasonable. She told me he got very angry with her when she criticized the chidcare situation and refused to discuss it, started breathing heavy and grinding his teeth - she said he was just livid. He also said he did not abuse me, he merely used to hit te wall by my head, instead of hitting me. She was very unimpressed with him, all in all. He is claiming that I am crazy, but aside from that has absoltely nothing to criticize me about that holds any bearing on the proceedings. I am so happy that she saw him for how he really is.

    I hope we can resolve this situation very quickly, and finally I feel that it is looking better. She has 4 meetings scheduled with the kids as well as their teachers and pediatrician.

  12. #26
    Registered User Katybird's Avatar
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    I am glad that he showed his true colors in front of the lawyer. I hope that you can get this all resolved soon and be able to enjoy a happy life with your sweet girls.

  13. #27
    Registered User Buckeye5's Avatar
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    Ditto Katybird, Sending you hugs Daisygirl!!

  14. #28

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    daisygirl....
    my first husband was just like your soon to be ex!!!...
    he wanted to "settle out of court", too...
    i didnt do it...
    then he decided to "hide"... for years we couldnt find him...
    then when we did finally find him, he "managed" not to pay
    child support...
    lo and behold, my daughter grows up and is almost 21...
    the courts finally track him down and now he has to pay until he is 60
    years old!!!... yep! you read right!...
    dont back down!!! dont give an inch!!! fight for what is legally yours!!!...
    instead of paying child support he could go back to school and make some really great money and living better than you can ever imagine!... i know bc that is exactly what my ex did...
    IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROL... by you standing up for yourself and your children, he will realize that he cant always have his way!... same with my ex... he married 2 other times, had a bunch of kids by other women and severed his parental rights to all of them except for the children he has with his wife now and my daughter (i refused to let him sign anything like that, she was already 18 and my lawyer said he would need my permission to sign this so he wouldnt have to pay the back child support)... i said no! ... he had 20 + years to get where he is now and he makes ALOT more money than i will ever see in my lifetime...

    I CANNOT STRESS THIS POINT ENUFF!!!... i have been exactly where you are... it does get better ...
    i will pray for you and your family... all will go well, you will see... just have faith... we are all here for you...

  15. #29
    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    Kittyrose and PAValley, I guess a lot of this is my anxiety to just get it over with. I have gotten the same advice you are giving from others, inclluding the children's lawyer. She told me that it is te girls' money I am giving away and that is not fair to them. I think things will go my way with the children's lawyer, and her opinion holds huge weight with the court.

    You are right about the control thing. My ex is a very abusive, controlling person, and he is getting worse right now because he knows that he is losing that control. So I don't think he will sign the papers we sent over offering to drop it in exchange for custody because that makes the control mine.

    I think the judge will see this my way - how could anyone possibly think his treatment and neglect of the girls is ok? At that time I will just turn the financial stuff over to the Family Responsibilities Office. They withdraw the money directly from the man's pay, and if he quits his job they have all sorts of powers like suspending liscenses, freezing bank accounts, impounding property and jailtime. That way I also have as little contact with him as possible.

    Thank you all for the advice. I really appreciate it.

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